Ep 3 - Taste Like Kandi - 12-Steps To Recovery


Uploaded by 12stepswebseries on 16.08.2010

Transcript:
jbjb PARRISH You heard right. My last date was a pre-opt transsexual. She was nice, but
c mon man why would Dani do that? BLUE (Laughing hysterically) P, as funny as that is, I doubt
very seriously your granola home girl would purposely hook you up with a hard leg. You
did say she was hot. PARRISH Okay, just stop. I m freaking out over here. This dating thing
was a mistake. I m calling it off. BLUE (looking at clock) You can t quit now. You re just
getting started, plus you haven seen what I got lined up for you. Shore leave baby.
Shore leave. PARRISH That s what I m afraid off...I need a drink. BLUE Listen, stop at
CC s and pick up some Crown. This sounds like a dark liquor night. I m on my way over. PARRISH
Aight man. See you soon. KANDI Are you just going to stand there looking at my ass? Help
please! PARRISH Look, I wasn t looking at your ass. I mean you got a nice ass and all,
with your little waist and moon crescent curve, but I wasn t looking like some kind of pervert.
There you go. KANDI At ease soldier, I m just teasing. You seem a little on edge. Who stepped
on your toes? PARRISH You couldn t possibly believe what ve gone through the last few
weeks. ...Hell, the last twenty-four hours. KANDI Try me. PARRISH Are you kidding me?
I don t know you. KANDI m Kandi, with a K. Now then, let me be your Dr. Phil. PARRISH
My partner said he s gonna chill, so it s just us. KANDI Great. Thanks. So you weren
t joking about your recent events. You just t seem like the kind of guy to struggle with
women. PARRISH t make me sound like some loser. Everybody gets dumped at least once. KANDI
ve never been dumped, but I am Kandi. PARRISH Aren t you the confident one? What makes you
so special? Just cause re hot looking, with a kick-ass body? You better speak 5 languages,
volunteer at an orphanage and have the cure for cancer to be considered special. You women
kill me. KANDI There s no need to get nasty. PARRISH m sorry. I don t mean to take it out
on you. I m just frustrated. and this dark liquor is kicking in. KANDI Well I only speak
two languages and I feed the homeless once a week, but I m sorry to say, I don t have
a cure for cancer. But I do have one for a broken-heart. PARRISH Now that s impressive.
You just filled with hidden talents. KANDI Oh you better believe it. Care to evaluate
my hidden talents? PARRISH Should I? KANDI Never answer a question with a question. PARRISH
No middle gears with you, huh? KANDI You need loosen up. PARRISH I guess I am a little tense.
KANDI My goodness, you re so tight. Looks like I m gonna have to take care of you. I
think we need to move this to the bedroom. PARRISH This is the bedroom. KANDI Baby, don
t worry about it. It happens to the best of them. PARRISH This never happens to me. KANDI
re just stressed. You can t let your Ex get to you. Women are emotional creatures. Sometimes
our Judgment gets clouded. PARRISH re telling me. KANDI We go for what s good on paper and
sacrifice what s best for us. She wake up one day and realize you the guy for her. PARRISH
How can you be so sure? KANDI d be a fool if she doesn PARRISH Regardless of my lack
of performance, d really like for you to stay. KANDI I wish I could, but I gotta go. PARRISH
Let me walk you home? KANDI That s okay. I m hopping in a cab. PARRISH Well at least
let me pay for it. KANDI t worry baby. It s paid for in the package. PARRISH Package?
What package? KANDI Oops, you weren t suppose to know. Blue only wanted the best for you.
You know...to knock the webs off. Can you let him think we did it? Thanks baby, my cab
is blowing. I gotta go. My card is on the counter. Call me anytime for another date.
Or even coffee. You re a sweet man Parrish. The kind that I d leave this profession for.
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