Let's Play Skyrim Ep. 28: Giant, Glowing Testicle Part 1


Uploaded by AquatakatII on 09.12.2011

Transcript:
>> Oh, you're a draugr.
Hey, Internet people.
We're playing Skyrim.
>> Be prepared to defend yourself.
>> Um.
Apparently...
>> Be prepared to defend yourself.
>> You just said that to me.
Apparently stuff is happening.
>> This is simply fascinating.
>> We're going into a cave with an old man.
>> Be prepared to defend yourself.
>> He has reminded us to defend ourself roughly eight thousand times by now.
>> This is simply fascinating.
>> Oh my god.
We're going to go on... Oh, what's this?
This is all going very well.
I think.
>> This bears closer inspection. I'd like to stay a while and examine this.
You, however, should press on. See if you can find whatever this vision of yours mentioned.
But if it is truly dangerous, be careful. I've never seen anything like this in Nordic
ruins before-
>> Wooph. Any excuse to get away from you, old man. Holy geez.
This is
a ruin.
It looks like
a lot of other Nordic ruins I've been in and I have been in many Nordic ruins
and there's some mushrooms. Oh Christ. Oh no.
Well, turns out I'm Lydia.
Could be worse. At least I'd be slightly pretty.
Oh, these things.
I love these.
Yes, but how do I set them?
How do I set them, indeed?
Oh, is it really that simple?
Looks good to me.
Look at that. I didn't die.
It's always a good thing when that doesn't happen.
Who keeps these candles lit?
I guess the zombies.
They would do that sort of thing.
Uh oh.
You don't look very friendly at all.
Oh, Christ almighty. Why you being like that?
Why you being like that?
Just being the way you are.
Just set you on fire. Uh oh! Uh oh!
Well that wasn't too bad.
We kind of deserve it, we're kind of being jerks, tromping all over their burial ground.
Oh, what is that?
I don't want to find out. Oh, Christ almight. Oh, and there is another one. Oh no.
How do I get around it? Ow, ow, oh god.
So, what is the...?
Oh I guess he just taught me how to use a ward.
Oh, that did not work at all.
Like not even a little bit. Oh well.
Oh, then these ones don't move independently so that's wonderful.
I think I figured it out though.
You just have to do them in order.
Well, that was not the right one.
Looks good to me.
No murderous death, again, always a good thing.
A lack of murderous death.
>> I thought it high time I caught up with you.
>> You're staring at the wall, old man.
Ooh.
Oh, Christ almighty. Who stepped on the button?
You're all fired.
Oh dear.
Oh dear...
this does not look... This does not look correct.
Oh, that is not a fireball.
How's it going? I shall shoot a fireball at you.
Aah!
>> I'm not the only one seeing this, am I? Why, this is utterly unique!
>> This may be rash.
Yeah, it's a big ball.
>> This is simply fascinating.
>> So, other than a big ball, what is this thing?
>> I have no idea. This is amazing, simply amazing. The arch-mage needs to be informed
immediately. He needs to see this for himself. I don't dare leave this unattended.
Can you return to the college and inform Savos Aren of this discovery? Please, hurry.
>> Hm. OK, I guess I can do that.
Oh, killer.
Got to say, this totally beats the little lesson we got on wards or whatever it was.
>> I have many important...
>> ...Oh, I imagine you're just the most important- Oh my god. He's going to be masturbating.
I'm going to go up there and it's going to be the most awkward thing in the entire world
because he's going to be masturbating.
Ohh!
Arch-mage?
Arch-mage...?
Arch...mage...?
Oh, this is nice.
This isn't the slapping of a well-oiled penis at all.
Oh my god...! Oh no, you're just reading a book.
>> What you learn here will last you a lifetime. Several, if you're talented.
You are relatively new here, are you not?
I have noticed you but we have not spoken.
>> No, we haven't.
>> Then allow me to introduce myself. I am Savos Aren, arch-mage of the College of Winterhold.
I am quite content to see merely any aspect of magic explored and investigated here
but I do not and will not approve of any research and experiments that cause purposeful harm
to your fellow members of the college. Are we clear?
>> OK. Um. I need to speak to you about Saarthal.
>> Oh, please don't tell me that another one of the apprentices has been incinerated? I
have enough to deal with right now.
>> Well, there's a giant, glowing testicle that Tolfdir wanted you to see.
>> I... see. I trust that Tolfdir will provide a more... specific explanation.
>> Oh no! >> Thank for bringing it to my attention.
>> It looks just like a testicle. >> Tolfdir normally looks after your little
group, yes?
Since he's apparently occupied >> At least my testicle.
>> and I would want to see this discovery for myself, I think perhaps you should begin
researching the subject.
>> Big glowing... >> Speak with Urag in the Arcaneum.
>> ...balls in my underpants right now. >> See if he's aware of anything that matches
your discovery.
And good work. The next time you find yourself exploring Nordic ruins, perhaps this will
be helpful.
>> OK. Thank you.
Wait, have you ever met with the Psijic Order?
>> Personally? No, not I.
One of their number used to advise the arch-mage when I was but an apprentice here but that
was a great many years ago before all the members of the Order were called back to the
Isle of Arteum and it disappeared entirely.
Alright then.
>> You're very purple.
You know, I got to be 100% perfectly honest. I don't know why he wasn't masturbating.
If I were him, I'd be masturbating up there.
Oh, hello.
>> You are now in the Arcaneum, of which I am in charge. It might as well be my own little
Plane of Oblivion. Disrupt my Arcaneum and I will have you torn apart by angry atronachs.
Now, do you require assistance?
>> Um. I need to learn about something from Saarthal.
>> I know what you want. Word travels fast around here. Discovered some big mystery,
huh? Well, you don't even need to ask. No, I don't have anything for you. Not anymore,
anyway.
>> What do you mean, not anymore?
>> I said not anymore. Orthorn stole a number of books when he ran off to Fellglow keep
to join those summoners. Some kind of peace offering. I think one of those volumes may
have had some relevant information. If you want them, you'll have to talk to Orthorn.
>> Well then. Doesn't anyone care that Orthorn stole things from the college?
>> Not enough to bother with. Arch-mage Aron's approach to these things is just to let them
sort themselves out, although now it looks like you'll be doing the sorting. Good luck
with that.
>> Gee thanks.
Well then, it looks like we're going into a keep.
>> You there. I have questions for you.
You were in Saarthal, yes? It has come to my attention that something was found there.
>> Maybe.
>> I know full well that you have. Please, do not insult my intelligence.
Tolfdir is still here now, isn't he?
I shall expect a full report when he returns.
>> How do you know anything about this?
>> It is my job to know these things.
My role as advisor to the arch-mage is aided by knowing everything that transpires here.
Thank you for your help. You may go now.
>> Well then, wasn't that lovely?
So not only do I have a crazy stalker man or mer as I guess the terminology is
but I also have an arch-mage that I've learned that doesn't really care about anything
and
I'm risking breaking my neck right now
because that ground is very far away
and also there's an orc.
>> I think the college is due for a change in leadership.
>> And the college is due for a change in leadership.
And books.
There's so many plot points, Internet people. So many plot points.
Thanks for...
Thanks for watching. I think we're going to make that an episode.
>> What is it? >> I don't know!
>> Dragons!? >> Aaah!