THE GYM (Do's & Don'ts #4)


Uploaded by ShutUpCartoons on 21.05.2012

Transcript:
Sup girl. Sup girl. Sup
SHUT UP
Cartoons
Ah, the gym. Nature’s largest fun house mirror.
Choose your avatar.
Initiating simulation.
Wassup bro!
Nice choice, Jimmy. You’ve picked the “Bro,” aka the “Douche.”
Though a word literally referring to a post menstrual vaginal
cleansing device, the similarities between the two are quite
remarkable.
I just wanna blast my pecs, broseph. Need that crease.
And although you sit just above “Crazy-eyed sex offender” on the
likability scale, you’re an integral piece of the social
puzzle.
I just need 6 pieces in this puzzle, bro.
Mirror break!
Being a successful Bro is about confidence and disregard. Style is
key. If you’d wear it to a club to fist pump, by all means wear it to
muscle pump.
It takes me 3 hours to look this fresh, coach broheim.
When greeting peers... DO: Greet with a fist bump.
Gersploosh!
DON’T: Greet with eye contact.
I don’t need eyes when I can look at boobs, bro beans.
DO: Live every moment like you’re walking away from an epic
explosion.
DON’T: Do this to get away from a real explosion.
Mirror break!
It’s always important to remember that beauty is pain.
My bikini waxer reminds me of that every month, brosario Dawson.
But fortunately, as a Bro, your workout won’t have much of that.
I can still make faces to look like it hurts though, bro hammer.
Science has no place in a Bro’s workout. Anything you see in a
magazine is perfect.
Magazine workouts for a magazine body, brah.
Rest periods are determined by how long you can stare at the mirror
without blinking.
If I don’t keep checking on these abs they might go away, brolo.
Rest periods may also be used to shadow box, as this carries a
double bonus.
“I can kick the mother f___ing s__t out of you.”
“I can defend the mother f___ing s__t out of you. Come ask me about
it.”
Yeah I like to get my knuckle sandwich on. I’ve watched enough
UFC and Van Damme to pretty much be a pro fighter. As if you couldn’t
tell by my Tap Out shorts.
Mirror break!
As a creature of aesthetic, bonds with other Bros have elevated
levels of intimacy, effectively blurring the line between gigolo
and gigolomosexual.
Sup!
Heeeeeey!
Saunas are a great way to get that glossy look while you develop those
bonds.
Hey bro, no homo but your junk looks dope in those shorts.
All female patrons are fair game. After all, everybody wants a piece
of you.
Sup girl. Sup girl. Sup girl. How about you get up on these
genetics and burn some extra calories?
Mirror break!
It’s been an extremely productive four hours.
Where has the time gone, bro?!
But now it’s time to leave. After all, these clubs aren’t going to
promote themselves!
Bottle service at NASDAQ! Guest list only. No dudes!
Well done, bro. Everyone will like you forever.