You Suck at Photoshop - Skin Tone-Aware Selection

My name is Donnie, and you suck at Photoshop.
But don't worry.
There's a place for people just like you--
last place.
Heh.
Let's say you just returned home from an epic journey and
only to find that your landiminium had been occupied
for the last four years by squatters.
And so you had to spend the last few days
desquatting your house.
And after all that hard work, you come in to find that your
inbox is filling up with emails from some creepy sex
mailer who thinks that you are your nemesis who you have
come-- who you have returned to duel with.
And so--
and what's more infuriating is that, I mean, she clearly has
a very loose grasp on sexual innuendo.
A lot of things don't quite make sense.
She, fortunately, has provided a photo of herself that we'll
we use in just a moment.
But this is the guy who stole your wife and put a baby in
her, and it kicked you out of your own life, and now he's--
mess, hot pie in the windowsill.
It doesn't make much sense.
He's trying to destroy even her life now, and because
you've decided you're coming back to win her back and
rescue her, that this is even more infuriating than ever
before-- again, with the pie.
It's confusing.
But what we're going to do is we're going to-- we're going
to use this opportunity.
We've been waiting to respond to any of these emails--
which, of course, will seem like they're coming back from
him to lady dance a lot.
And we are going to do something.
We're going to trick up this photo and insult her and
hopefully wreak a little bit of havoc on his end.
So we could-- what could we do?
We could jack this thing up.
We could put--
we could put pole scars on her.
We could put stretch marks--
things you might find a stripper.
I think we should do something very simple and elegant.
And we should change the color of her strippi-dermis, her
greasy skank skin, and we should--
we'll do it using a feature called Color Range.
Now I know, I know you're starting to get sort of hot
sweats around--
you know, Donnie, we choked on our nerds' rope the last time
tried to teach us Color Range.
It's all right.
Adobe's made it a little bit easier for exactly
your type of person.
So we're going to click Sample Colors and look-- they've
included this thing called Skin Tone Aware Selection.
Click that, and it's going to automatically go
out and find the--
the stripper flesh that we want to impact.
So let's click OK.
Now, this didn't quite get all of our shadows.
We don't need to worry about it now-- you can go back and
experiment with adding in.
If you wanted to get this sort of under whore area here, you
could go in and add that in.
But we're just going to go to image adjust, hue saturation.
And we're going to-- we're going to start to take this to
a color that just sort of says, you're disgusting.
And this is what I think about you.
And I think there's a chance that you have, you know,
possibly some medical conditions of which I'm not
even aware.
But that's how much I don't trust you in this
relationship.
We want this photo to say all of those things.
Click OK, and now we have a pretty good start, but-- and
that's going to be good enough.
So let's Save As, and take this out here.
Let's go back down to our email, hit
reply, and this is--
she's going to be fooled into thinking this
is coming from him.
Photoshop gives us the opportunity to create an image
that says I--
I care about you.
I--
I--
you're very special to me.
And contrarily, to create an image that says, I think most
of you may be infected.

And--
and send.
This won't cause too much trouble, right?

And we're going to use this tool called Zoomify.
Since I know--
I know what just happened.
A little part of you started crying inside.
Donnie, Donnie, why are you doing the hard stuff?
I'm doing the hard stuff because you need to grow up.