Deaf Survivor's Story-- Enduring Domestic Violence

Uploaded by deafhope on 06.01.2010

I learned about DeafHope here.. I found out about it through my
counselor. I wanted to share my experience with other women.
I care about them and their children. I don't want them to
go through what I went through before.
When I went to the shelter, I had no support... no help.
I was frustrated with the hearing staff. There was
no access for the deaf. None.
With the support groups, I had no support.
I want DeafHope to provide shelter like the hearing have
to better meet the Deaf women's needs.
When the social work took my children...
I lost my children...
They also lost their ability to communicate with me.
I lost my children forever. I never could get them back.
There was no deaf access back then. If I had DeafHope,
they could have helped me stayed united with my children
and keep us together as a family, instead of being
torn apart forever.
During my time in the shelter, I was always alone.
The televisions were not closed captioned.
The interpreters were not provided.
There were no communications and no television access.
Also no TTYs.
No interpreters during support groups. None.
I just sat there alone, feeling left out with
information going over my head. I gained nothing from it .....
I went to the court for domestic violence and
child abuse.
I went there often trying to work it out with
the cases between my husband and family.
I wanted to be able to separate from him and be on my own.
It was not successful. There were no interpreters in
the first place. Eventually I got interpreters, but it was
too late and nothing worked out
As result, I lost all my children.
When my children were placed in foster homes...
the foster parent did not know sign language.
As result, my kids did not sign to me anymore.
There was a lack of communication connection.
I tried to talk to them. They did not understand me anymore
and drifted off into the hearing world.
They departed my Deaf world. We became separated.
I lost them for good. They thought I couldn't....
I went through "Nine Lives". I had many close calls with
death during my domestic violence experience. However,
I am lucky to be alive today.
I am a survivor from trying to stay alive.
I have tried calling the police several times.
My husband blocked me from the phone. He took away the phone.
Many times he prevented me from calling...
because he wanted to keep it a secret.
One day the neighbor heard us and called the police.
The police came but my husband (hearing) talked to them
They didn't talk to me much.
The police thought that everything was okay and left.
They did nothing to help.
As soon as the police left, my husband started to
beat me up again.
This time the neighbors did not want to call the police again.
Sigh...when the social worker took away my children,
I tried to get them back. The social worker didn't feel
it was safe for my children and I to go home because my husband
would hurt us again.
I was supposed to stay at a safe place.
Where am I supposed to go?
Shelters are not accessible.
There was nothing. I was stuck...
When I found DeafHope, they have connection with the police
support services, court advocacy interpreters provided as needed
and everything...
I noticed they are missing one thing. There is no Deaf shelter
We need a Deaf shelter, not hearing shelter. Need a shelter
with Deaf culture... a Deaf centered one with
full access with TTYs, video phones...
and many things... It is so needed.
We need a place of our own, not a hearing shelter,
for the Deaf women survivors.
We need it. It is also for our hearing children.
With this shelter, I would still have my children with me.
But right now, we don't have one...
Thank God I have FaceBook. I found my children through
FaceBook. Now I know that all my children are okay. They are
doing well out there. Being able to see them brings me
great comfort.
Since I left my husband, I had a wonderful fortune to raise my
daughter who is now 19. I feel so blessed that I had the
chance to see her grow up,
which I missed with my other children.
I am happy to have her in my life.
I have been attending DeafHope for myself. I want to keep
surviving by learning and benefitting from them so much.
I am thankful for DeafHope
I pray for a Deaf shelter to be established in the future for
Deaf women. We need one and
I hope to see one successfully established.
I want for Deaf women to wake up and realize that they don't
need domestic violence, nor deserve it.
The children do not deserve it either. It is hard for them
to see their mothers go through domestic violence. They want
violent-free and healthy homes where they can grow up together
with their Deaf mothers. They need a shelter as home where
they can find love, communications, and connections
They are not torn apart. They are always together.
This is how I feel..