Dub of the North St*r - Ep. 1 (Parody)

Narrator: The entire planet has been fried, fractured, and fucked.
It is a desolate and generally stinky place where few things can survive,
and people are particularly unhappy.
Well, hello!
CHARGE!!!
Thug: Get your motors running.
Thug 2: Gay boy berzerker.
Thug 3: Geronimo.
Thug 4: Red Smegma Squadron.
Passenger: Some 'o dem boys ain't wearin' pants!
Passenger 2: WHAT!?
Woman: Oh my God! Get us out of here!
Driver: I'm driving as fast as I can, you bitch.
Driver: OWW! That really hurt.
Zeed (the leader): Bullseye! HAH!
Zeed: Congratulate me!
Thug: Oooh! Dis pretty!
Thug 2: We gon' fuck this cow!
Thug 2: We gon' fuck this cow! Thug 3: Beef curtains, baby!
Zeed: Well, well. Talk about useless shit.
Thug 4: It's not even fit to wipe your ass, Zeed.
Narrator: Nuclear fallout has left us with this brutally silly shit.
And with change already blowing in the wind...
What humanity needs now, is hope.
Kenshiro (internally): Dammit, Ken. You have to eat something.
Maybe if I- Maybe if I eat this dirt, uh-
No. NO. NO! God damn it. I'm a man.
But I've got to eat something.
What if someone sees me?
What if the SUN sees me?
No...
I'll wait until the sun stops looking.
Kenshiro: Yuria... My love.
That's not fair.
... That's not fair.
NO! THAT'S NOT FAIR!
Thug: So anyways, I stuck my finger all the way up it's butt, right?
Thug 2: Hold up man, check this out.
Thug: Looking good in those tight jeans.
Thug: Oi baby, got any fries to go with that shake!?
Kenshiro: SHUT UP!
Thug: Hold on to your Levis cowboy, we're going for a ride.
Thug: Zeed! Everybody!
Thug: Yo! Come quick. Something happened to the-
Awww man! Ya'll didn't leave me no chicken.
Zeed: Good Grief! What the fuck happened here?
Thug: Hey Zeed, this guy's still breathing.
Zeed: All right, buddy. You heard me. What happened?
Buddy: He said I didn't have much time.
Zeed: Whaddiya mean?!
Buddy: Okay, well. There was this guy walking by and he was cute, and we tried to rape him, but he said "no" and-
Zeed: Get to the fucking point!
Buddy: Fist... of the... North... St-
Thug: OH MY GOD! Thug 2: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Thug 3: Radical!
Thug 4: The hell was that!?
Thug 5: You think it was a time bomb?
My ass... Nothing like that exists anymore.
Fist of the North Star.
Euuagh.
Thug: Zeed, baby. I aint no coroner or anything.
But this motherfucker must'a swallowed a grenade.
Zeed: You seem pretty sure.
Thug: Mmmmhmm. I found the pin right here.
Thug: Oh, wait. My bad. That's his belly button ring. I'mma keep dis.
Villager: Hay! What are you doin'?
Kenshiro: Leave me aloooone.
Villager: Fellas', we got ourselves another hobo tryin' to take the waater!
Kenshiro: I'm not a hobo.
Villager 2: Ah, great. One of these guys.
Bat: And here I go- GO LET ME GO MAN!
Villager 2: Ya dang theif.
Kenshiro: Aw, fuck me.
Villager: What did you say?!
Villager 2: I think he said it to Lin!
Villager: Oh, we goin' lock you up forever.
Villager: Anything to say for yourself?
Kenshiro: Bleh.
Villager: Tell it to the judge. You won't be gettin' near no more kids.
Villager 2: Couldnt'a said it better myself.
Villager 2: Keep an eye on 'im Lin
Bat: Before you even ask... Yes, they're that stupid.
Bat: Kinda like you, man. Ruining my get away.
Kenshiro: Girl. I'm starving. Can you please bring me something?
Bat: So much for the correctional system here.
Bat: I'd shake your hand, but, y'know. Don't touch me.
Kenshiro: Quiet! Do you hear that roaring outside?
Thug: Raaaawrrr
Bat: No, I'm pretty sure that was your stomach, man.
Bat: Dammit, this thing is not working for me.
Bat: Sweet Jesus!
Kenshiro: You're welcome.
Bat: Hey, GROWN women have these things called "breasts" y'know.
Kenshiro: Shut up!
Bat: Y'know, they're worth the wait, man.
Zeed: All right, Listen up. If I don't start hearing some offers right now
I'll kill this girl.
Villager: Anybody got any of that money that came flyin' in this mornin'?
Kenshiro: GIVE THAT TO ME!
Zeed: Who the hell are you!?
Kenshiro: My name is Ken, and if you don't give me that thing right now, I'll-
Villager 2: "That thing"!? That man's an animal.
Who let him out?
Villager: I think it was Lin.
Villager 2: You're fired, Lin.
I ain't giving her up, Buddy.
Kenshiro: I don't care if it's a "her" or a "him". I'm hungry.
Villager: What a savage!
Guh... Sic 'im, boys.
Kenshiro: Hi.
Zeed: Don't just stand there looking cute! Get him!
Guh... You're the one who killed-
Kenshiro: I'm sorry, what?
Zeed: I said you're the one who killed my-
Villager: Put 'er down, ya animal.
Bat: Hey! Hey wait up man. Don't leave me here.
These people are friggin' morons.
Villager: Say it to my face.
Bat: Kiss my ass. Lin: Kyeeeennn.
Keeeyeeeennn.
I didn't believe the things they said.
Kyeeeeeen.
Bat: Hey! She's calling for you, Ken.
Kenshiro: Never mind her. She's just a sandwich.
Lin: Why you gotta leave, Ken? I'm sorry.
Village Elder: Aw, he's got that Fist of the North Star.
He's nasty too.
Who needs him?
Village Elder: You're safe with me.
Lin: KYEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!