The Guild - S4 Ep 1: Epic Guilt


Uploaded by watchtheguild on 21.02.2011

Transcript:
So, we faced off against the rival guild,
it came down to me and their leader, Fawkes.
I kicked his butt, we met up for drinks...
...and then, heh... Oh boy!
I never win anything, and I’ve certainly never done stuff like...
THAT on the first date so, I blame the heat of victory.
Stupid confidence! Stupid cute gamer boy.
I gotta come clean with the guild.
Better to be up front about this than be discovered.
That would be SO after-school special! I mean...
What if Vork caught us emoting in-game, or Clara spotted us out at the movies?
We'd be at a foreign one with subtitles,
and then we'd go out and eat something exotic afterwards like oysters, or...
prosciutto... Whatever that is.
Anyway, I'm gonna tell the guild. I'm gonna do it. Just get it done. Yes!
"Enchant a fish and make a wish... The Festival of the Seaaaaaa!"
Clara, stop singing along with the NPCs!
Oh, come on, Tink! This is my favorite in-game holiday!
All the mermaid quests and pirates!
I can't wait to get my character that epic coconut bra!
I get enough pirate crap here at work. Can we run a dungeon,
or something that doesn't make me want to spit on a burger again?
Before we embark on the adorable seasonal seahorse pet quest,
- I have a proposal... - You guys, hey!
Umm, it's Codex, I just wanted to say...
I'm gonna name my seahorse Drowny. Heh. Ironic'd!
But Vork, I need to let you guys know that, umm, there's...
What? [Computer powering down]
Is that a sign? [Alarm sound]
Oh my god, it's my mom's ringtone! Why is she calling, why now?
She hasn't called in weeks, dude! Don't call, don't call! Stop!
Stop stop! [Grunting]
Are you done now?
[Screaming] Yeah, I'm done.
Back! As I was saying...
I have decided that the Knights of Good should have a custom Guild Hall.
Or you go first...
What? A custom Guild Hall? Cool! What's that?
- Don't you read the patch notes? - Never.
The new expansion has added player-designed housing to the game.
My hope is that a communal guild area will help repair the emotional scars
from our near recent break up. In addition... I want one!
Vork, those things are expensive and pointless. Total e-peen strokers.
You guys know how I feel about e-peen stroking.
Hey Idiot, I can't serve a charcoal briquette! Remake it!
And get off that computer or I'm telling Ollie.
Who won't do anything! The boss loves me! You, on the other hand...
Watch the face!
If we're gonna get a Guild Hall, we need to get the biggest and baddest one!
The deluxe castle model is a half a million gold!
Precisely, and we have...
Twenty thousand in the bank.
[CLARA] Half a million and we have twenty thousand?
That's li... oh yeah, there's a difference.
I uh... I heard that the Axis of Anarchy is saving for a deluxe one too.
Which reminds me I...
Those D-bags are getting one? That's it, I'm in.
Yeah, screw those guys!
That dude Bruiser is still dating my mom! Get this:
He took her on a wine tour through Napa like she's fancy or something.
Yeah, and Fawkes made the lewdest comments about you, Codex.
- Really? He did? - That's unnacceptable.
- He's reprehensible. - I'm hungry.
I'm dating him.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
- Zaboo?!? - What is with you today?
You're dating Fawkes?! He almost ripped apart the guild!
- Actually, you started it. - I will dent your face.
We've only had one date and it was after the LAN party. I am not a traitor!
Enemies become lovers?
Oh my god! This is like the soap opera I used to watch.
Maybe you have an evil twin and he's secretly a NASCAR driver, slash surgeon.
I am not putting my mouth to your mouth.
Vork! Codex is dating Fawkes?
What the heck happened?
Why did I disconnect those surveillance cameras?
[CLARA] On second thought, maybe he's a bull fighter
and you're in the witness protection program.
You're banging him and their guild healer is banging my mom.
That's guild incest!
No, wait a second, wait wait wait wait...
I have never done anything like this before,
and and and and there were some unique circumstances...
Remember, I had won something...
Wait, so you did bang him? I never pegged you for a hobag.
Wait, you WHAT?!
[CLARA] Whoa, you boffed him after only one date? Achievement unlocked!
Wait, did you boff him or bang him?
Get the story straight here, and with details.
It's not... Guys, we are dating. We are in a relationship.
So, if stuff happened, then it's private.
Not anymore.
I know he seemed like a jerk but umm... he's different.
We might be good together, I just wanna see where this goes.
It's going nowhere, he's an anarchist! There's no way he's gonna date you!
That's not true! He... he left his jacket here.
He left something? Classic move.
It's like when a dog pees on a fire hydrant. He's totally into you.
[VORK] Codex, we're discussing building a Guild Hall.
This is seriously distracting!
I was up front about everything. Can't I get props for that?
No!
[Computer short-circuiting]
[Screaming]
Now who's judging me!?