Joe Moses (Starkid) and DailyGrace LIVE - 5/24/12


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 24.05.2012

Transcript:

GRACE: You look medium today.

Hello, internet [INAUDIBLE].
Daily Grace here for My Damn Channel live.
Did you guys watch yesterday's show?
If you didn't, I'm going to come to your house and wrinkle
all of your clothing.

In the meantime, here's a clip.
MALE SPEAKER: You're taking the surprise away.
You're taking the magic out of this.
FEMALE SPEAKER: No, there's still more magic.
OK.
MALE SPEAKER: All right.
FEMALE SPEAKER: I'm almost done.
It's very intricate.
It's a whole zoo.
It's not a zoo.
You guys, she's going to Like that.
MALE SPEAKER: We'll see.
GRACE: They made me me a picture.
Let's check it out.
It's right over here, and this is art, you guys.
It says "Glitter Zazz '07," and I believe this represents
Glitter Zazz, and this represents her ability to
dream and lift herself off of the Earth in either a hot air
balloon or a giant lightbulb.
Who knows?
Speaking of giant, look at those tits.
This woman is proportionate, beautiful.
Glitter Zazz '07.
We should eBay this shit.
Maybe next time.
Now, though, let's start off the show with my favorite
thing, MFCLFTS, "My Favorite Comment from Last Thursday's
Show," and it comes from tyggjokula123.
Did you just slam your head on your keyboard to
make that user name?
Anyway, he or she writes "Boobs or butt?" That is a
very difficult question.

I don't know, but I'm going to give you guys what you want.
I'm dedicating today's show to boobies.
Aw, look at those sweet, sweet boobies.
That's a perky pair of boobies.
You really shouldn't put those boobies in a shirt.
Hopefully, those boobies never go extinct.
Boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies, boobies,
boobies, boobies, boobies.
In the end, we're all just a bunch of 10-year-old boys.
It's how the world works.
And we asked you guys on Twitter what you guys wanted
to see on today's show, and that's what we're
going to do for you.
I'm going to do whatever you guys want.
I am a puppet, and you are all weird, horrible, puppeteers.
So let's look at your tweets.
What are your suggestions?
Spintown wants boobs, bacon, and Batman.
Classic triple-B. I'll give it to you.
Boobies, there we go.
Nailed it.
Nailed it.
I'll work on the bacon and the Batman later on.
What else did you guys want to see on today's show?
Colleen Whitcomb, "Something American for Memorial Day?"
What is something super American?
How about Diet Coke, and I wish I had a bag of chips I
could just consume.
Consumerism, that's American.
Hey, why don't you sponsor us, Diet Coke?
That would be really American.
Making money the easy way.
Let's do one more thing that you guys wanted to see on the
show today.
What else did you want to see?
This is from Josh Duran.
"I want to see you do a hand stand again."
Oh, God, OK, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to pull my pants up.
Also, is my fly down?
I have this weird paranoia that my fly is always down.
OK, I'm going to tuck my shirt in, and I'm going
to do a hand stand.
Ready?
Here we go.
I did gymnastics when I was younger.
You'll be able to tell.
Look at this look.
Why am I Urkeling myself just to do a hand stand?
Ready?

Hand stand, amazing.
That's going to be a gif.
Can't wait.
Speaking of gifable things, here's a clip from McMayhem
and "Five Second Films." I'm seeing stars.

MATT MCMANUS: No, not going to do it.
I may be in immense pain right now, but I'm not going to
stoop to your lowbrow humor.
Maybe some political satire?
A turn of phrase, perhaps?
A commentary on the existential void that is life?
No, I'm not laughing.

STEPHEN SEIDEL: This is "Adjustment Bureau."
[MUSIC PLAYING - "MCMAYHEM" THEME SONG]

MATT MCMANUS: If you don't mind, I'm with
the Adjustment Bureau.
MALE SPEAKER: Go ahead.
MATT MCMANUS: I'm going to do some minor adjustment if
that's all right.
MALE SPEAKER: All right perfect.
MATT MCMANUS: I'm adjusting people all day long.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh, thanks.
MATT MCMANUS: I'm with the Adjustment Bureau.
I went to FIT.
I know about that.
Women look at your shoes, and also, women look at your dick.
So you want your dick and your shoes to be just right.
--because you never know when you're going to run into that
butt that makes you want to jump up and down.
How do you say McMayhem in Korean?
FEMALE SPEAKER: McMayhem.
MATT MCMANUS: True.
Now, take the jacket off.
FEMALE SPEAKER: No!
MATT MCMANUS: Yeah, please, please, please, please.
FEMALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING KOREAN]
GRACE: Put your arms up.
FEMALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING KOREAN]
MATT MCMANUS: Both arms up.
Both arms up.
You know, it's a sunny day, you're wearing a nice belt.
It's a little punk rock.
It's a little chic.
Can I please just button one of your
buttons for you, please?
MALE SPEAKER: No.
MATT MCMANUS: Just one.
MALE SPEAKER: No.
MATT MCMANUS: Just one.
MALE SPEAKER: No.
MATT MCMANUS: I can't push your buttons?
Now you could take one of these earrings out and just
[INAUDIBLE] with one of these earrings on the left, just to
keep the gangster on one side.
Come on, you guys are shining stars.
Let me shine your glasses.
[TOUGH GUY VOICE]
Let me shine your star.
Look at me, real quick.
It's going to be your last second.
MALE SPEAKER: No, please.
No.
MATT MCMANUS: No, no, wait.
MALE SPEAKER: No hair gel, please.
MATT MCMANUS: When you go to the party tonight, you're not
going to have any boogies.
Check this out.
We have a winner.
We need deodorant.
Tuck it in.
Yeah, there you go.
OK, all around, all around, all around, all around.
All the way around.
You've been adjusted.
Got to get rid of that hat, though.
For me, for the world, and for Ed Hardy.

GRACE: That clip was the perfect amount of time for me
to pull my jeans back out of my vagina.
Speaking of wonderful things, we have a wonderful guest on
the show today.
He is a member of Team StarKid and an overall
just amazing person.
Please welcome Joe Moses.
[INAUDIBLE], sorry, I don't mean to interrupt.
JOE MOSES: Just practicing.
GRACE: Welcome.
JOE MOSES: Hi.
GRACE: Hi.
We'll shake hands like professionals.
JOE MOSES: Yes.
GRACE: Thank you for being on the show, Joe.
JOE MOSES: It's my pleasure.
Thanks for having me.
GRACE: Welcome to my humble aggressive--
JOE MOSES: It's very cool.
GRACE: Yeah, it's in your face.
Thank God you're not color blind.
See what you miss.
JOE MOSES: Great.
Really rude of you to bring that up.
GRACE: He is colorblind.

So tell us about Team StarKid.
No, for all the people out there that might not know
because they're dumb--
ly amazing--
JOE MOSES: Yeah, because they're Dumbledore.
GRACE: Yeah, they're Dumble--
JOE MOSES: StarKid started at the University of Michigan,
and we are kind of a multi-faceted comedy and
musical and musical theater group.
GRACE: Cool.
JOE MOSES: And we're probably best known for our first work,
which is "A Very Potter Musical."
GRACE: Yes.
And it lives on the internet.
JOE MOSES: Where all good things live, on the internet.
GRACE: On the internet.
It's amazing.
If you haven't checked it out, you should go.
Use your fingers and type it in to your computer and look
at it with your eyes.
JOE MOSES: Cool.
GRACE: Yeah.
But speaking of Harry Potter, Joe is an aficionado of the
Harry Potter series, and we thought it would be fun to do
something fun with that.
So we went on Tumblr, and we asked you guys for scenes from
Harry Potter that haven't been seen yet because we are going
to bring them to life today in a segment we're calling "Harry
Potter Tumblr Fiction" AKA Harrpotumblfic.
JOE MOSES: Harrpotumblfic.
GRACE: Rolls off the tongue.
JOE MOSES: Easy.
GRACE: So let's look at your first suggestion.
JOE MOSES: All right.
GRACE: It says "One of the Weasleys finds out they're
adopted." All right, we take you now to Hogwarts.

JOE MOSES: Hi, my hair is blond, and I also speak German
most of the time.
GRACE: I want to tell you, one of the Weasleys you did not
come out of my vagina.
I'm Mrs. Weasley, and you are my son, one of
the Weasleys and--
JOE MOSES: But--
GRACE: I went on a website.
GRACE: Yeah?
Is it adoptamuggle.com?
I've been to that one.
I saw your profile actually.
It said you're looking for a new one because your current
one is disappointing.
GRACE: You're adopted.
JOE MOSES: Oh, that makes sense.
GRACE: And scene.
That's how you do it, folks.
Let's do another one.
What's another suggestion you guys have?
"Snape reacting to DailyGrace videos." OK, we take you now
to Hogwarts.

Blah, blah, blah blah, commenting on comments, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
JOE MOSES: This is kind of pitiful, man.
I like the way she talks in her mouthparts, but the things
that she's saying don't make very much sense.
As a matter of fact, I wonder if I can just reach onto there
and touch the screen, what would happen if I touched--

GRACE AND JOE: And scene.
Very good.
Very, very good.
JOE MOSES: I felt good about that one.
GRACE: That was really JK Rowling.
We're not just kidding over here.
OK, this is no JK.
Let's do one more for good measure.
What's your last one?
The Harry Potter Hunger Games.
We take you now to Hogwarts.

Arrow.
JOE MOSES: Oh, that was really mean of you, so I'm going to
Expelliarmus your bow.
GRACE: Oh, here's my package [INAUDIBLE]
JOE MOSES: --house elf is going to make you some food.
GRACE: A sponsor sent me a tiny knight.
How did they know that's what I need in this game?
JOE MOSES: To defeat me and my wands, use the small knight.
GRACE: Stab.
JOE MOSES: Augh!
GRACE: I win!
JOE MOSES: Oh, I'm bleeding internally.
It's going to take me hours to die.
Very painful and slow.
Probably not for PG-13 audience.
Why is there so many gruesome deaths?
This is really horrible thing for children to watch.

I'm just going to slowly bleed out here on the table.
GRACE: And scene.

Perfect.
Nailed it.
Wonderful, take notes.
I believe that there should be an eighth book maybe, based
solely on those three scenes alone.
JOE MOSES: Along with a fourth Hunger Games.
GRACE: Or a fourth Hunger Games.
We [INAUDIBLE]--
JOE MOSES: We're full.
GRACE: We're full.
We're digesting, now.
OK, give us a chance.
How about an apretif.
Now, it's time for some internet Q&A. We are going to
chit-chat about your comments and questions, so let's take a
look at YouTube comment.
Shall we?
This comes from singinginsephora.
"Is Joe Moses going to tour the one man
showses?" I don't know.
Let's ask the man.
JOE MOSES: Grace, what do you think?
GRACE: I think you should.
JOE MOSES: I think I should, too.
I don't know when.
So, yes, maybe.
GRACE: A yes, maybe.
That's the best kind of answer to anything, especially when
you're asking people out on a date.
JOE MOSES: Or to Prom.
That's coming up.
GRACE: Yeah, exactly.
Let's take another YouTube comment.
What do we have?
This is from bringing me Severus.
JOE MOSES: No, no.
GRACE: "Grace, what is your favorite thing about Joe?
Joe, same question about Grace." Everything.
JOE MOSES: Let's say our favorite
things on three together.
Ready?
One, two, three, my eyes.
GRACE: Ability to drink vitamin water.
JOE MOSES: Oh, I was supposed to say one about you.
GRACE: Oh.
JOE MOSES: You're nice.
GRACE: I will take what I can get.
Let's take another look at a comment.
What do we have?
This is from ClarkHerd.
"Would you rather have a rainboot wearing piglet, or a
mustachioed chick with a monocle?"
A rainbow--
what was the first one?
I was not listening.
I was saying and not even listening.
Isn't that amazing that your body can do that? "Would you
rather have a rainboot wearing piglet or a mustachioed chick
with a monocle?"
JOE MOSES: I can't answer that question.
I'm biased.
GRACE: I hate animals.
I said it.
I said it.
Sarah McLaughlin, I said it.
JOE MOSES: Those are so sad.
GRACE: Oh, why is it the saddest?
Slow fades, I hate them.
Speaking of things I hate, I hate when the show ends.
But that's what's happening.
Isn't this so sad?
It goes so quick.
Joe, thank you so much for being here.
JOE MOSES: Thank you for having me.
GRACE: Before we go, guys, Joe is doing a show this Saturday
called the John Moses One-Man Showses right here in New York
City at the Players Theater at 7:00 PM, and someone you know
might make an appearance in it.
Me.
Me's in the show, so make sure that you guys go grab your
tickets now because it's almost sold out.
Where can they find information about the tickets?
JOE MOSES: I would go to www.thejoemoses.tumblr.com,
and I'm always spamming that ticket info.
GRACE: Amazing.
And make sure that you can check out Joe on YouTube at
youtube.com/thejoemoses, and find me every other day of the
week at mydamnchannel.com/grace.
And, guys, please don't forget to subscribe to My Damn
Channel, if you're not already, because--
JOE MOSES: I did.
It was the best decision I ever made.
GRACE: If Joe did it, you all have to do it.
That's the way the world works.
This is a show for boys.
Speaking of that, until next Thursday, [BELL DINGS]
boobies.