Ep 18 - It Works Every Time pt 2 - 12-Steps To Recovery

Uploaded by 12stepswebseries on 31.01.2012

[uptempo drums play]
PARRISH Yo what’s up with this Eleanor Spivey chick?
You think she can help me?
BLUE She has mad respect in the industry
And I told her all about you.
You have an opportunity of a lifetime. An audition for a Colt 45 commercial?!
All you need is a perm and you’d be a Light-skinned Billie Dee.
PARRISH Yes ma’am, but I’m an actor as well.
ELEANOR I’ll be the judge of that Mr. Funny Man.
You like telling jokes don’t you? I bet you keep everybody wetting their
pants during table reads.
Well from now on your name is Joker.
JOKER Yo, Ms. Spivey that’s my name.
I don’t care what your name is. Any of you—
because before the day is over, I’m gonna break you. I’m gonna strip
you so bare, that your own momma won’t recognize you,
[Theme Song]
MICHAEL ANTHONY Mammy!? I’ve missed you so much mammy.
How you use to take care of me. All The fried chicken, the waffles...
The Grits, the biscuits with the gravey.
DASHIKI [South African Accent]
Listen foolish man, I am not your Mammy.
I fought for women’s rights in my home country.
I am nobody’s Mammy. Do you understand?
ELEANOR Don’t judge the character Dashiki.
Find your emotional truth class and stimulate it. Treat it like your lover.
DASHIKI But he called me Mammy. Mammy Mammy
Mammy, but I’m not his Mammy.
ELEANOR I understand Dashiki, but don’t judge.
Let it stimulate you. Smell it. Is it funky?
DASHIKI It is funky.
ELEANOR That means you’re getting dirty with it.
Get dirty with it. Get dirty and funky.
DASHIKI Come come.
ELEANOR Yes yes Yes.
JOKER What was I suppose to do? I was doing
a five-year stretch. And one thing lead to another.
SIMEON Shsss, it’s okay. Just let it out.
It happens to the best of us. I’m not your judge.
KITTY I just don’t understand why you
haven’t returned my calls.
Those two weeks we spent together were something romance novels are made of.
BLUE Look Baby, we had a good time and
it ran its course. Lets just savor the memories Okay?
KITTY Promises were made Blue.
BLUE Before or after sex?
CINDY Why can’t you relax?
PARRISH Because this is a bunch of crap.
CINDY Don’t say that. Eleanor will hear
you. You’re just not trying hard. You want me to rub some cocoa butter
on your temples?
PARRISH What is it with you and cocoa butter?
ELEANOR What is your truth? Do you remember?
Think about it and stay grounded in it.
PARRISH Truth, truth. What is this truth you
Talk about, cause I don’t get it. It’s just a bunch of mumbo jumbo and
it has nothing to do with acting.
[Music stops]
In order to become someone different you have to leave all your crap on
the floor, then build from there.
In order to become someone different you have to leave all your crap on
the floor, then build from there.
PARRISH Don’t drink the kool-aid. Blue?
ELEANOR Parrish, do you want to be here?
Do you want that malt liquor pitch job?
I’ve been in this business for fifteen-years and I’ve never been
offered anything like that.
PARRISH It’s malt Liquor.
ELEANOR It’s a job mister. Do you want it?
PARRISH I said yes.
ELEANOR Then taste that malt liquor.
Smell it. Feel the buzz. Picture yourself doing something ignorant.
Now say it. Say it Parrish.
PARRISH It works every time.
ELEANOR I can’t hear you.
PARRISH It works every time.
Colt 45 works every time.
ELEANOR Billy D. Williams would be proud.
[Whimsical Music]
BERNIE Oh Grissy, I had the most wonderful time.
BERNIE It reminded me of when daddy use to
take me to the theater back home.
I’d wear my prettiest dress and the biggest bow in my hair.
And we’d sneak in some of momma’s friend chicken. Ahhh, It was such an event.
PROF. GRISWOLD Oh Snookums, I enjoy and love hearing
your special memories.
Did you enjoyed the play?
BERNIE Why yes I did.
PROF. GRISWOLD You know, Matt Damon’s interpretation
of STANLEY KOWALSKI was nothing short of genius.
Just for a second there... a mere second, I saw a glimpse of a young Brando.
BERNIE Ain’t that the truth. Not one time
did I see Jason Bourne on the stage.
Oohhh Grissy, maybe you should put him in one of your productions.
PROF. GRISWOLD Now now now Snookums, Mr. Damon has a
long way to go before he steps on my stage,
But I maybe able to get him a feature role in my feature What’s Wrong In The Ghetto.
BERNIE You’re so wonderful Grissy.
A pure genius.
BLUE Yo, so what you think P? Nice right?
PARRISH I feel a little less stress about doing
the commercial. You were right.
BLUE See, that’s what’s up.
Okay Lando Calrissian. I see a lifetime Supply Of Colt 45 in our future.
PARRISH Yeah yeah yeah. But this also has me
thinking as well man?
BLUE About what?
PARRISH How I still got feelings about Sheryl.
BLUE Oh my God, I knew you were going to say that.
This is worst than I thought.
You know, I’m gonna have to call for back up.
PARRISH Call for backup? What are you about to do
BLUE Something I should have done a long time ago.
PARRISH Something I should have done a long time ago.
Backup? What is there, a blind date SWAT?
PROF. GRISWOLD Pardon me. Pardon me.
PARRISH Bernie?!
BERNIE Parrish Diaz?!
PROF. GRISWOLD I, I know you.
The jingle writer?!
PARRISH No, Parrish Diaz the actor.
PROF. GRISWOLD Ahhh, You’re the one who lacks passion
and knowledge of heartache!
PARRISH Let me tell you something you fake
ass James Earl Jones.
I got more passion than you ever could imagine. And heartache—huh, brother,
heartache is my middle name.
BERNIE Careful Grissy, he’s the rude blind
date from hell that I told you about.
PROF. GRISWOLD This is the guy? Look here Mr. Diaz,
no one talks to my Snookums like you did.
PARRISH Snookums?
Well I don’t know what your Snookums told you, but the hold thing was a misunderstanding.
BERNIE He asked me if I had a penis.
Called me a woman of the night. I’m a lady!
PARRISH Well look lady, it wasn’t fun and
games For me either.
You weren’t the only one tortured on the date. I almost jumped off the ferry
three times listening to your fake southern belle gibberish.
PARRISH Yes Fake. Gibberish.
And besides, you slapped me--twice.
BERNIE And I’ll do it again!
PARRISH Oh shsss.
PROF. GRISWOLD Look hear jingle writer.
Don’t let my fancy clothes and perfect diction fool you.
I’m from Brick City homey
BERNIE You tell him Grissy.
PROF. GRISWOLD And no one steps on my snookum’s toes.
PARRISH Well tell her country ass to put on
Some shoes then
because up here us Black Folks is free in the North.
PROF. GRISWOLD Look here varmint.
[Loud thump]
[Uptempo French Whimsical Music]
PROF. GRISWOLD Serves you right Jingle Writer.
C’mon Snookums.
[Screams in agony]
PROF. GRISWOLD Oh Jesus. Oh God.
BERNIE Oh my God, we’re like Bonnie and Clyde,
but fighting in the name of decency.
[Breathing hard]
PROF. GRISOLD Fighting in the name of decency.
BERNIE Awww, Grissy. I’ve been searching all
my life for a man like you.
PROF. GRISWOLD You have? Oh Okay.
BERNIE Tonight, you gone meet the freak in the sheets.
PROF. GRISWOLD My, the Professor is gonna have to
give you an A for Naughty.
BERNIE Go on now.
PROF. GRISWOLD Ummm, Snookums, is it possible for us
to have a pre-snack of your chicken and Biscuits? Right?
BERNIE With the gravy baby.
PROF. GRISWOLD C’mon. Lets go. Lets go.
BLUE Yo P, you aight bro? Say something.