The Guild - S4 Ep 5: Loot Envy


Uploaded by watchtheguild on 02.03.2011

Transcript:
Bladezz got me a job!
That he's pissed at me for getting, but... whatever. A job!
It's been so long, it feels weird coming out of my mouth.
Job! Joooub. Jooowwwwb!
OK, I'll stop.
I'm not technically qualified or...
getting paid up front, which is so like me, but... I think I can do this!
Social media can't be that hard!
Every bozo on the internet claims to be an expert.
And, I think I worked out the whole Fawkes thing.
So, by the end of the week I will have a brand new computer
and be innocuously broken up in a face-saving manner.
Life is pretty good right now! Heh!
Oh! Why did I say that!? I just totally jinxed it!
[Grunting]
I can't believe you got a job, Codex. I'm so jealous!
Is it glamorous? Are you wearing a pencil skirt?
The important question is can I get a discount on foodstuffs?
Namely discounted to free.
It's a little early to be asking for free stuff!
I've gotta get paying customers in here first.
But it is nice to have a working computer again... I named her Harriet.
Do people really hate Cheesybeard's food that much?
I thought their Cosmos were good.
Some of these comments are horrible!
"Leaky disaster. Tastes like buttpirate butt."
HAAAAAAH.
I know! And Ollie doesn't even own the domain name.
I had to get Cheeseybeards.info!
You get to buy domain names!? Uh, you're such a jet-setter now! Waaah!
What's wrong, are you guys... Oh, I thought it was one of the kids.
Honey, Codex got a job!
She's working from work and having so much fun right now!
You have a job, honey. It's the most important job of all. Being a mom.
- Gabby! - Meh.
Ooh, Codex, I saw that picture of you and Fawkes that Bladezz posted.
Talk about a two-hander, heh! ...What?
I don't want that disaster-porn on the forums!
Some of us have sensitive stomachs.
Don't worry, Codex!
I'll create a separate forum topic, for you to post pictures and videos.
For those of us who, you know, who wanna celebrate your love.
Also, I've been doing my friend research,
and have learned how to braid hair in eight different styles.
Mostly from "Hairly Legal" magazine.
No no no no no. Tink is right.
From now on, I'll keep my relationship with Fawkes on the down-low...
For the good of the guild. No matter how it's going.
Move. I have to keep up with Guild Hall farming.
Don't be mad at me!
I can't help it if Ollie gave me a job that's better than yours.
Hey, I'm the rogue. I'm supposed to do the backstabbing here.
A lot of the bad Internet comments are specifically about you!
"Horrible food, cooked by sleepy-looking feather-haired kid"?
They're called layers, hater.
You guys can weep, but as I'm up to 25K on Guild Hall farming...
prepare for bloody axes and iron maidens.
Correction! Fairy and Unicorn tapestries.
Clara, check our numbers.
Oh! Tink and I are up 60K! Eat it!
60K!? I've been practicing classic Keynesian economics,
and I'm only up to 27!
In addition, I haven't left this chair in two days!
Ah! It's 'cause you've been pounding energy drinks!
- That's urine. - Gahh!!
From my penis. I can't waste valuable mining time.
We added sexy music to our FishyLips chat channel...
and tell people our real life names are Darla and Pancake.
Look forward to filigree out your butthole. And Cupid add-ons.
Ugh, Rococo'd.
- Are you still here? - Don't be mad, honey...
You and Tink seem to have a great business online, isn't that enough?
Yeah, but... Heyyy! What if Tink and I started a real business?!
What kind of business?
Tink, Wiggly just had a great idea!
We work so good together, we have to start a real business!
Uh, I said nothing.
Like, out of game?
Yeah making real money!
I like that word. "Money."
We know.
What could we do?
Oh, Wiggly will help us with the stupid details, he does this for a living!
Honey, I'm in pharmaceuticals, on salary, I've never...
Tink, come over! He's already making ideas!
Wiggly will put out a cheese tray!
Hmm, as long as you lock up the babies, I'm game.
Wiggly, cheese tray!
Looks like I started a real-life leveling trend!
Good job, Codex. Keep going so I'm the only one unemployed.
I want the game and all its assets to myself.
Hard at work in 'ere, aye lass?
Uh, yeah! We're working hard! Right?
'Cause I give NO quarter to stowaways! [Dramatic music]
Codex is gonna look SO slammin' with this fishtail braid.
And then, I texted my mom "Happy Birthday"...
and then she wrote back...
"Thank you". I'm officially a woman whisperer.
[Siren blaring]
Visitors.
[Phone vibrating]
Vork, no no no, don't open the door! Do not open the...
Hello! I came to celebrate my birthday with my son!
- Mom!? - Sujan?
- Hi mom. - Wha... ?
Press the button when I do that. Press the button!