NerdOffice S03E20 - WWE, Sony e Florença

I feel like a match.
Here, look!
JovemNerd.com.br presents: NerdOffice Editing by GavetaFilmes.com.br Subtitles by Fabio Lima - @fabiopl
Lambda, lambda, lambda, nerds! Welcome to the NerdOffice!
Azaghal, who are you today?
A match.
Or, as you were saying before...
A sex offender.
Sexual predator.
Anything but a luchador, WWE and stuff.
Yes. But I don't feel like a fighter, man.
You've got a little hair from your mustache showing.
It looks like a nose hair that's coming out.
So why are you dressed like that?
We went to watch a WWD...
...WW... I can't say it.
My mouth... I can't...
The mask holds my jaw shut...
...and I can't speak properly.
"W". Say "W".
- "W". - See?
So, every time I say "W"...
It's because you're supposed to fight, not talk!
We went to watch WWE Raw World Tour!
That's how they do it!
Man, it was so cool!
Now, you're probably thinking: "You, grown men, like that childish thing?!"
When our friend JP knew about us being there, he tweeted: "Is that for real?!"
And that other guy, what did he say?
"I can't bring myself to like it 'cause I know it's all fake."
- Yeah, he said that. - You know what else is fake?
Movies!
Movies are fake, man!
You gotta change your point of view.
It's a performance, not a fight.
It's a fight-like stuntman show.
Man, it's a lot of fun!
It's like a theater play: there's the bad guy, the good guy,
people cheer for the good guy, he gets hit and they go "whooooa!",
and there's always that belly strike thing, like this:
Very cool.
It's even cooler live, with everybody watching...
- Watching it live is a whole different thing. - When you're in a half-full stadium,
because it wasn't that crowded,
but still pretty crowded,
it's cool to have that...
It is!
- We really did have fun! - Yeah, it was cool.
So, watch us at WWE now, with Meatball...
- He went nuts. - ...who screamed so much, he lost his voice!
Where are we, Meatball?
WWE!!!
He's too excited!
Can't get much more American than that.
- How much was it? - R$ 8 (US$ 4)!
Bread, a dry sausage...
Saussage. Sausaj. Sawsage. Sausige.
Bread, sausige, one grain of corn,
each hotdog contains one single grain,
a whiff of chips...
R$ 8.
The plastic wrapping is worth more than the hotdog.
My goal right now is to make everybody scream like this:
Man... I didn't have that kind of guts when I was your age. Kudos to you.
Oh, I do. What should I scream?
- What do you think? - A wrestler's name?
No, it's gotta be someting easy.
No reply at all!
The ideal would be screaming a wrestler's name.
So, let it rip.
Look, the crowd's saying "Hey"!
But I did just a while ago!
It wasn't you who started it.
C. M. Punk! C. M. Punk!
Wow, you actually did it!
- Only about 10... - Look!
- About 10 or 20 screamed. - Good job!
Suck it, Gaveta!
Poor Gaveta!
What's he gonna do? He didn't go to Italy, he didn't come to the show...
- He must be locked up in his room editing. - Poor Gaveta!
KIDDO...
KIDDO... YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG GUY.
NEVER MESS WITH THE EDITOR.
I'm gonna scream "Jovem Nerd".
No! Please, don't!
- Do it! - Please, don't!
JOVEM NERD! JOVEM NERD! JOVEM NERD!
No reply at all!
- What's it like live? - FUCKIN' AWESOME!!!
Get him!
David Otunga! David Otunga!
Wow!
Mr. Eko! Mr. Eko!
Anyway, we were in São Paulo and we had some work to do.
- You know, we go to agencies... - They already know.
You know, right?
So, what happened?
- We went to the 2012 Sony press conference. - 2012, right.
With the Global President of Sony.
Galactic President.
The guy had the look of a President.
He's like a samurai.
A true samurai, very cool.
So, they invited us to go there and see Sony's new technologies,
- which they're releasing this year. - Sony's new releases.
We are into technology.
New stuff is what we want.
Sony fanboy!
So, we went there. Let's check it out!
[2012 PRESS CONFERENCE]
Hello human beings, Sony fanboys and nerds at large,
this is Alexandre Ottoni of Jovem Nerd...
...and we're here at the 2012 Sony Press Conference.
Let's take a look around to see Sony's new releases for this year.
I'm here to introduce the Sony Tablet,
I'm here to introduce the Sony Tablet. [LÚCIO PEREIRA, DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER]
It looks like a folded book.
That makes it more comfortable for you when you spend many hours using it.
It really is comfortable.
It has a good grip.
I invite you all to see it at Sony Store, and...
Thank you!
So this is the Sony Tablet.
If you press here you can shoot at Captain America.
And when you scroll, you change the picture angle.
Wow! So cool!
[KAZUO HIRAI - PRESIDENT AND CEO OF SONY]
[KAZUO HIRAI - PRESIDENT AND CEO OF SONY] (AND SAMURAI)
What is Sony Link?
It's Sony's way to connect its devices.
Exactly. Or you can just...
What is it? The noise?
When you do this, "throw it"...
It makes things more exciting.
Take a picture, press the button,
picture and TV, OK...
- There it is. - There's even special effects.
I'll replace "throw it" with onomatopeia.
It's the *whistle* technology!
...and this is Sony Google TV.
- How does it work? - It's a bluetooth remote,
so it doesn't need to be pointed at the TV.
This is a browser, but I can also use this area as a touchpad.
As you can see, when I move my finger, the little arrow moves.
How do I type?
Is it like "tec tec tec A, tec tec tec B, tec tec tec D" and so on?
In fact, that is the easiest part.
Just flip it over and you have a full keyboard...
- Fantastic! - ...with all functions.
Look it up: "NerdOffice". One word.
Beautiful picture.
It is!
NerdOffice on NerdOffice!
I found Uncharted on PS Vita, so... That's it for me today.
All right?
- Do that wall thing. - Wait, I don't know, I...
Wow, look at that!
Awesome! Touch screen!
I just touch the spot and he jumps. Very good.
What the hell is that?
- It's a 3D visor. - A 3D visor?!
- You're watching TV? - Yeah, I was watching a videogame trailer.
What game?!
It's a movie on the TV.
But I'm watching it on the Playstation.
OMG, that is great! it's plugged into the Playstation!
And you're watching on the Playstation? You're playing?
- Gran Turismo. - Please explain.
That's a new concept for gamers like this one here,
who wants to play, but there's always the wife who wants to watch the soap.
So you have your own 3D content.
We call it... Display Viewer 3D.
Are you having fun with Gran Turismo?
I'm choosing my car.
It feels like I'm in front of an actual big screen,
on a 50-inch TV, or bigger,
Uh... But the...
And now, Nerdplayer, with Azaghal playing Gran Turismo!
In which I'm the only one who sees the game!
Yeah! You'll have to describe it for us!
Asphalt, asphalt, asphalt, asphalt...
...a lamppost...
...now a turn...
Break, wheelie, guard rail, wrecked bodywork...
...moving away from the zebra lines...
Lamppole! Lamppole!
This one is for Lucas Radaelli. [blind vlogger]
This is how he watches every Nerdplayer episode.
Here. Here's the gamepad.
What's this?! Where's the gamepad?!
Cockpit view! Cockpit view!
I'm inside the cockpit... Tunnel!
Tunnel, tunnel, tunnel, tunnel...
...tunnel, tunnel... tunnel...
And now...
Turn, turn!
Oh, you're awful!
No wonder it was so quiet!
Now's one of our favorite parts, Azaghal.
Because we get to remember the trip, right?
Exactly.
Trips have two distinct moments: one is when your actually there,
experiencing it all,
and after it's over and all in the past,
there's that moment when you remember the trip.
So here's our visit to the wonderful Florence.
[FLORENCE - ITALY]
Oh my God. This is such a kitsch tour.
Completely uncomfortable,
Enjoying the view with a -10ºC wind,
It's really getting hard to handle.
You're dressed like a Portuguese woman.
God it's cold!
Wow, it's beautiful! But they live under the bridge?!
- No, no one lives under that bridge. - But there are some houses there.
They're commercial.
PONTE VECCHIO [OLD BRIDGE] - Three, four-story high?
You can see those in some bridges in Brazil, too.
- What's the deal with that bridge? - Let's check it out, guys.
Let's go.
[RANDOM COMMENT] Oh, I love drugstores.
[RANDOM COMMENT]
Deported!
Did you notice there are only jewelry stores here on Ponte Vecchio?
Hey guys, it's cheap!
It is?! Hey, don't start it!
If that's real gold, it's cheap!
Is there a "Not Made in China" sticker there?
If you love me, Alottoni...
[DANGER]
I'm wearing sunglasses on top of glasses! Look, darling!
That's not darling-like!
Mrs. Helmet!
What a nice helmet!
It's Europe's latest trend!
It's a beautiful helmet!
What are you looking at?!
That should be censored! How disgusting!
What is this?!
You can go Assassin's Creed on that wall.
Atta boy!
Fucking wicked!
We were looking for a traditional restaurant...
...and we arrived at an empty street.
Then, Azaghal saw this on the window.
A giant chunck of meat!
This is where it's at.
We're having lunch in a "trattoria" [tavern] that's been around since the fucking 1800's,
and Agatha comes in and orders a Coke.
I'm having wine!
"Vino della casa" (house wine).
When she ordered the Coke, the waiter said: "Go to the McDonald's".
Ok, go.
["Boiola" is Portuguese for "faggot"]
My God...
Oh God!
[FLORENCE CATHEDRAL]
It's like...
No one's ever going to build anything like this again.
Never! It would be impossible nowadays.
There's no money, manpower or human rights...
that could allow for something that big to be built nowadays.
That's why you must come here and see for yourself.
- It's wonderful. - Fucking awesome.
How embarassing!
Utter failure!
No, no!
- Can you hear it? - It's coming from the damn cathedral!
That's heresy!
Everyone's loving it, everyone's singing along...
They love that shit! Everyone's singing!
Opa! [Whoa!]
- Opa! - What?
- Opa! - Opa?
Opa.
You're ridiculous, Dr. Jones!
"Silenzio, per favore." [Silence, please.]
Check out that angle. Azaghal with his head down in a church.
You'd think he's praying, right?
MISSION: Climb the church stairs (with a flu-stricken Alottoni)
You guys... Maybe we should rethink this.
I think today's not the best day for that.
You're the one who wanted to go up.
- I want to, but... - We're not going back.
...but my leg is hurt.
It's the end of the day, we walked too much...
- Oh, it wasn't that much. - Yeah we did.
It was like two blocks.
[Going up the stairs.]
- It has started. - What?
Slowly, guys!
With faith in God!
Guys, did you get anywhere yet?
- No. - I'm going back, then.
- Why? - No can do.
I feel sick.
- Are you sick? - Can't do it anymore.
- How frustrating. - Give me the camera, then!
- Alottoni's feeling sick. - Bye.
I'm okay. Just keeping him company.
[Moving on. (only the girls)]
- My God, you guys. - This is too scary!
- I'm tired of this. - This is too spooky!
Horrible! It's like a horror movie!
Look what you're missing, Alottoni: more and more creepy stairs.
These are the steepest stairs I've ever climbed.
You have no idea how steep it is.
It's freaky, you have no idea.
After so much claustrophobia,
check out that view!
Due to... uh... technical difficulties, we don't have any footage of the top of the church.
But this is what it would look like if we did:
We can't film right now. These are the stairs we have to go down and they're so steep!
It's over.
"Wow! Wow... this way you're gonna kill me..."
If they turn off the lights while we're in here,
I'll shit a brick right here.
- It's kinda scary. - Now we've reached civilization.
Everything's fine.
The paintings are funny, aren't they?
The kings, the animals...
They're all in Heaven.
And the commoners in Hell.
It was actually the other way around!
Meanwhile, Azaghal and Alottoni...
- Jesus! - We were in Heaven!
They didn't buy their admission to Heaven!
I'll beat the stairs someday. I will.
It's a good promise.
You didn't promise, right?
This week's question is...
If we were wrestlers,
a wrestling duo, like in the best fight we saw there,...
Oh yeah, like tag teams!
what would be the duo's name?
WHAT UNIQUE PRODUCT SHOULD NERDSTORE RELEASE?
ALOTTONI AND AZAGHAL BOBBLEHEADS (BLACK)
THE OFFICIAL JOVEM NERD RPG GAME IN A D&D1E-STYLE BOX (KALDERASH)
DeLUXE COLLECTOR'S EDITION JOVEM NERD TALCUM POWDER (KABOIO)
Subtitles by @fabiopl