What's up, everybody.
It's your boy, Todrick.
Thank you so much for coming back to yet another week of
Dance Moms recap.
This week, my special guest is no one.
This week, they were about to announce who's up for the top
of the pyramid, when, out of nowhere, Jill comes in with
this new blonde bob, thinking that the world is going to be
changed, and that she can just come crawling back on her ashy
little knees and get Kendall back in the group.
Abby was like, (DEEP VOICE) Jill is this really
happening right now.
And Jill was like, (SOFT VOICE) Abby, I brought
Kendall's head shot.
We're just going to--
Like, literally, brought her daughter's head shot and
wanted to just put it at the bottom of the list.
Jill.
Kendall's out.
You should have stayed at Candy
Apple's where you belong.
Maddie, no surprise, is at the top of the pyramid.
(VERY HIGH VOICE) Go Maddie!
(WHISPERING) Where she should stay.
This week, the girls are going to Starpower
competition in Lancaster.
Also, in a strange twist of events, Maddie, Paige, and Nia
are the ones that have solos, not Chloe,
which is really weird.
And then they're doing a group number in which
they needed a guy.
It's like a Twilight inspired number that
features a man and a vampire.
And they brought in this kid named Nick, who was totally
dope, and was like lifting the girls like they were like
monkey babies or something.
It was crazy.
So randomly, Abby asked Maddie to bring
in all of her crowns--
I don't even know why she wanted her to bring them-- but
she probably had to hire a U-Haul truck to bring in all
of her crowns.
Because she's won every competition since
she could even walk.
All of the parents are sitting up in the little green room,
wondering why Maddie is flaunting these crowns in
front of all the kids.
And of course, all the other parents are like, this is not
right, and pressure Melissa to do something.
So Melissa goes downstairs and starts talking to Abby.
And Abby is like, (DEEP VOICE) Melissa, why can we not be
happy about her success.
What's wrong with these people, if they want to be at
the top, then they need to be better.
And like, Melissa then just goes in the room and starts
crying, and it was so dramatic.
And the whole time I'm thinking, we need to get
Melissa a new haircut.
Then, Abby starts getting into an argument with Holly.
She goes in on Nia's braids, and basically, everything
short of calls them nappy.
And Nia's sitting there looking.
I was like, what did her braids look like.
But she did look like Swamp Thing.
While Holly was nicely reading Abby back.
Because Abby said to Holly, why don't you fix your
daughter's hair?
And Holly was like, (SOFT VOICE) well why don't
you fix your hair.
And fix your body, and your face, and your rolls, and your
double chin, and your saddle bags--
went in on her.
Anyway, so they go to the competition.
Let's just put it out there, Maddie killed it.
She won first place.
She killed the routine.
She had this little paper, and she was ripping it up, and
like breathing all hard and stuff.
It was epic.
And then Nia went out there.
She almost forgot her routine and started crying in the
dressing room.
But then she went out and like slayed
this routine by Laquifa.
What, what, what.
And then Paige did this contortionist, Cirque du
Soleil type number.
And it was pretty good.
Abby said, at the end of the thing, (DEEP VOICE) I came
here with one goal in mind, to get all of my
numbers in the top ten.
And she did.
Nia came in ninth place with her Laquifa number.
Paige came in sixth place.
And Maddie, no surprise, came in first.
So, OK.
So then they go into the room.
And for some reason this week, Abby played this mind game
with everyone and didn't want to tell people who was
actually going to be in the group number.
So they're in the room, and then Abby basically tells
everyone who's in the number.
Paige could have been up for the running, but then she
decides that she wants to do her standing
back tuck for everyone.
Everyone's like, Paige, no, no, wait, stop.
And so Paige was like, oh I got this.
She fell on the ground, her toes were all crunched up,
like I don't even know what.
She looked a hot mess.
And so she got cut from the number, because she was trying
to do too much.
Less is more, Paige, less is more.
So then, the people that got chosen to be in the group were
Nick, obviously, since he's the only boy, Maddie, clearly,
is going to be in it, Chloe, since she didn't do anything
else for the whole group number, and
then, randomly, Brooke.
So that was that.
And that group number won first place.
It was pretty epic.
They went back into the dressing room, and Jill had a
breakdown again.
Why Jill thinks she can just stroll up and stuff all late,
like she's on colored people time and just start putting
her daughter's head shot up on walls, and changing her
hairstyle, and trying to get some camera time.
Like, you know, sit down somewhere cause you're making
Kendall look like a hot mess.
Thank you so much for watching this recap of Dance Moms.
I'm Todrick, and (SINGING) you're watching FYI.
Peace.
Oh wait, wait, wait.
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