SODOM VS. HISTORY! @JohnFugelsang / Caffeinated #13

Uploaded by POLIPOP on 16.10.2012

This episode, I’m going to talk about sodomy – so you might want to get as relaxed
as possible.
Now, sodomy refers to, as you may know, mainly one disgusting, unholy, vile, nasty
sexual act engaged in by men with men – or by straight men with amazing,
wonderful, spectacular, understanding, awesome women.
Of course, over the years it came to sort of mean any kind of non-procreative sex
that’s not the missionary position. Go ahead and Google your own state’s sodomy
laws and find out how much government interfered in generations past to try and
stop people from being promiscuous. Remember, in America “promiscuous” means
anybody getting more than you. And many men, thousands throughout history, have
gone to prison because they engaged in this awful, terrible act. And the reason that
was always given for punishing men for doing this… thing with each other was that
it goes against the Bible, from the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. I have this crazy
thing I do with the Bible – I actually read it. So, it might surprise you to know that
the actual story of Sodom and Gomorrah has nothing to do with consensual same-
sex relationships among adults. Lot and his wife and daughters arrive in Sodom and
Gomorrah and the town is a place of evil and wickedness – they’re drinking blood,
they’re stealing cable, they’re ripping tags off mattresses, they’re not using their
turn signals… I’m sure somebody had an Ed Hardy shirt. It’s awful stuff. So, these
two angels of the Lord - they’re called messengers in the Bible, show up and they
say to Lot and his wife and the house they’re
staying in, ‘hey y’all, you’ll wanna get the
hell out of here. Shit’s about to jump off, and y’all better get out of here ASAP before
God brings the hammer down on this bitch.’ I paraphrase from the original Hebrew
and Aramaic. Before they can do anything, a crowd of men gather outside their
house, shouting, ‘hey, who are those two guys in there with you? Throw them out
here to us, that we may know them.’ If you don’t know what that means, go rent
season one of Oz. So Lot, the hero of the story, comes out and says, ‘gentlemen,
please don’t be like this. You don’t want to gang rape these two innocent men. My
two daughters are complete virgins, why don’t you gang-rape them?’ I know, right?
What a guy! But the crowd says, ‘no, we want those two guys. Throw em out here,
lather up!’ The angels come out, and they somehow manage to blind the entire
crowd with some Hogwarts shit, and Lot and his wife escape. God rains fire and
brimstone down, destroys the town, smites it -1… As they’re getting up the hill,
Lot’s wife turns around, sees the devastation, and
it turned into a pillar of salt. Lot gets away, eventually goes on to have sex with
his two daughters and get both of his own daughters pregnant – and the moral of this
story for the last 3,000 years is, Anderson Cooper is a bad man. Now when you
look at the story, obviously it’s got nothing to do with adults doing the things
the things adults like to do with each other. And Jesus himself, later in the Bible,
says that the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was that they weren’t kind and welcoming
to strangers and immigrants in their midst. Does that remind you of any, I don’t
know… Christians you might know? So there you have it. Thousands of years of persecution
because a dead guy got a Bible story wrong – proving that being gay is
natural, but hating gay is a lifestyle choice. Hey, thanks for watching Caffeinated. Please
subscribe to us, that’s up here – we want to hear your comments, I know a lot of
you fundamentalist Christians hate me with all the Christian love in your hearts,
so tell me all about it. Like us, share this video, follow me on Twitter, follow us on
Facebook. I’m John Fugelsang reminding you if you’re bipolar, don’t feel bad.
The planet Earth is too.