Nope! He Doesn't Like Me! - Ep: 33


Uploaded by LizzieBennet on 30.07.2012

Transcript:
Lizzie: Hi, everyone!
Jane and I are having a bit of a disagreement.
She says that I keep instigating arguments with Darcy when he's trying to be nice.
Jane: "Nice" was not the word I used.
Lizzie: I'm paraphrasing, and it doesn't matter, because you're wrong, wrong, wrong.
Jane: You promised you would keep this civil!
Lizzie: I'm always civil!
Are you sure you want to talk about this in front of tens of thousands of viewers?
Jane: She's the one who insisted on turning on the camera.
Lizzie: Yeah, cause I thought it would make you leave me alone.
Jane: You cannot use the internet as a safety blanket, Lizzie.
Lizzie: I can try!
All right, fine.
My name is Lizzie Bennet, and William Darcy does not like me.
At all!
Not at all.
Nope.
Episode 33 - Written by Rachel Kiley
Jane: I understand what you're saying, but he's trying,
and I think that he genuinely likes you as a person.
Lizzie: What?! What? What?
Darcy?
Genuine?
Likes people?
Does not compute!
Darcy doesn't like anything, except himself
and wearing scarves in the middle of summer.
Jane: Well, you tend to be a little confrontational.
Lizzie: I am very agreeable!
Jane: How about when he asked you to dance the other night?
Lizzie: He did no such thing.
Jane: He so did!
Lizzie: At what point were the words "Lizzie, do you wanna get your groove thing on?" uttered by Darcy?
Jane: Never, I would hope.
Lizzie: Yeah! No. [Laughter]
Oh, God, forget - strike that!
But you know what I meant.
Jane: Here you are!
Lizzie: Really? We're doing this?
Jane: Come on, I'm getting really good at it.
Lizzie: Internet fame is going to your head!
Jane: Here we go.
*[clears throat]*
Jane as Darcy: Hey, you're kind of into audiovisual stuff.
How do you like these speakers?
They have a 270 degree delivery system,
providing true stereoscopic sound.
I put them in myself.
Lizzie: See? There he goes, patting himself on the back.
GREAT conversation opener!
Jane: That is not what you said.
Lizzie: [clears throat] The sound quality is mediocre at best.
Jane as Darcy: Oh, yeah! Yeah, um...
My personal preference is for a vintage gramophone type of sound.
They provide a more authentic and rustic feel.
Lizzie: Just get to the point.
So, um, this song is really catchy!
I hear it's popular and really good for dancing.
You like this kind of music, right?
Uh I mean, that's what Caroline said,
not that we talk about you, but yeah, uh,
it's, uh, dance music.
Jane: And this is the part where she ignored him!
Jane as Darcy: I said, this music, it's, uh, really good for dancing, yeah?
Lizzie: See?! That is by no means an invitation to dance!
Jane: Lizzie?
Lizzie: How do you get from "good for dancing" to "let's dance!"?
Jane: It's implied. He wanted to dance.
Lizzie: The only thing HE wanted was for me to say I like popular music,
so that he could mock me with his mocking words,
and his mocking face,
and his BEADY little mocking eyes!
Jane: I know, you told him as much.
Lizzie: Well, I didn't say exactly that.
Jane: You might as well have!
Oh, wait! Didn't something else happen after that?
Lizzie: I know you're only saying this so you can make fun of my tastes;
I'd rather not give you the pleasure,
so just go ahead and hate me anyway.
Jane as Darcy: Hate you?
I would never dare hate you!
Lizzie: He just wanted to prove that he was morally superior!
Have you NOT been following his M.O.?
Vanity? Pride?
Jane: And you're sure your interpretations are always correct?
Lizzie: I trust my gut! And my gut is always right.
Jane: Almost.
You were wrong about Bing!
Lizzie: I hadn't met the guy yet!
Jane: And what about Caroline?
Lizzie: Okay, I'll admit, Caroline is great.
I missed on that one.
I was due!
Jane: Well, I'm going to go to dinner with Bing.
Jane: Are you going to be okay here, or do you wanna?
Lizzie: Is that an invitation?
Do you like me third-wheeling?
Jane: No, I was just being-
Lizzie: Nice? Mwaaah!
Jane: Have fun.
Lizzie: Bye!
Well, that was fun.
Jane is getting kinda pushy, am I right?
This whole being in a loving, caring relationship with a decent guy is
really warping her personality!
And it's really good for her.
Or it could just be that we've been here for so long.
*Nice* Darcy?
I mean, it's like every time you say those words together, an angel loses its wings.
So let's STOP SAYING IT.
I bet some of you are gonna jump on this Darcy train
and go off and write fan fiction about us having
EPIC ADVENTURES together!
And I am not one to squash creativity, so I say,
"Epic fanfiction: go nuts!"
But with *Darcy*?
Well, YOU are nuts.
Transcribed by Holly Barber, Edited by Taylor Brogan