Un-Real Estate Commercial

[MUSIC]
Real estate market got your arrow pointin' down?
Owe the bank more on your home than it's worth?
Don't let a market slump turn you into a broke-ass chump.
If you got an underwater mortgage, make the smart move...
...to the ocean!
Now's your chance to get out of debt and to get into a sea --
of money --
-- and Rhode Island Maritime House Movers is here to help ya

We'll ship your house from anywhere in the continental US
Guam, or the Canadian providence of Saskwatchawan.
Right to your new ocean front -- and ocean side and ocean back -- property.

Wow! That's more views than a Newport mansion.
Sell your old land. Keep your house -- where no banker's
ever gonna find it --
The ocean!
For as little as the price of a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee --
filled with hundred dolla bills -- you can have a lot so huge,
ya friends'll get penis envy.
You won't see neighbors for miles -- unless you count the tuna.

As soon as you arrive at your new location, you can put it
to work for ya, with cash flow currents including:
fishing
crustacean cultivation and
body dumping.
No more workin for The Man -- or the bank. You're gonna
be drownin' in money!
The ocean!
So why wait? Get in on the ground floor of the soon-to-be-
booming ocean real estate market --
or should I say unreal estate market, am I right?
Call Rhode Island Maritime House Movers now at 1-555-rim him
Rhode Island Maritime House Movers.
We put the motion on your ocean...house.