At first I was doubtful when my offer to adopt my daughter
but I know that she needed a father and he needed a child.
After seeing how good he was to her, my doubts disappear and I move in with him.
4 years later Pamela was born and 2 years after that came Danny.
Little by little he started acting more controling and was mistreating and abusing me.
he was even abusing our six month old son after seeing that he could act that way toward his own son,
I decided to abandon the relationship and save my children.
I was in other relationships after that, but there is one that I will always remember.
because in that one, I started to use drugs to loose weight.
I wasn't myself anymore, my entire life revolved around my addiction.
I spent a month of my life like this using everyday.
sometimes I wanted to kill myself. I had lost everything: my self-respect, my pride, my children, and my freedom.
one day, I was looking for drugs; I met a man who ended up being my gaurdian angel.
he invited my into his house to talk about getting myself into recovery.
and I promised myself that would be the last day that I use drugs.
Around Christmastime, I was arrested and spent 35 days in jail.
This made me decide to stop using and fight for my kids.
and for myself. I kept in contact with the man, and after getting out of jail,
I want to detox and rehab and finally learn what it means to be in recovery.
Spending Christmas without my kids was what made me decide to change my life.
My Christmas wish was to get back my freedom, my life, my kids
In 2004, my brother was shot. It was a tragedy but I was strong enough
to face it sober and even took custody of his kids.
After finishing rehab, I started working as a volunteer
now, I specialize in working with mothers to encourage them to get into rehab
and to stay with it. I want to be an example and a source of inspriation for mothers
who are in the same place that I was during my addiction- my shame and my desperation
I know that recovery is for life and is something that we have to deal with every single day
I also know that to get back all that was lost, you have to fight with everything that you have.
and that you can't give up. My message is that there is help;
if I could do it, so can they. I want them to know that they are not alone.