Anyone But Me Season 2: Ep. 4 "Girl Talk"

>>VIVIAN: Tuba lessons? Oh yeah, I am all about the tuba. Deliver Meals on Wheels to quiet, repectable,
Fifty year old man - otherwise known as The CraigsList killer. Donate blood? I don't think so. No, wait, Aster...
Come on, I'm drowning in choices. Where do you have to be, anyway?
>>BARISTA: Vanilla latte!
>>VIVIAN: OK, well, call me later.
>>ASTER: Just for the record, this wasn't my idea.
>>DR. GLASS: Well, I could try and win you over, which is a very comfortable place for me to go when I get insecure,
But I have that issue pretty well under control, so we can just sit here and wait until you have something you want to talk about.
>>ASTER: I don't need this.
>>DR. GLASS: I hope that's true. I could use this hour for a long nap.
>>ASTER: I mean, what's the point?
>>DR. GLASS: As in, what's life all about? Or just this moment here with me?
>>ASTER: Can you be pregnant and do this?
>>DR. GLASS: I'm pretty awesome at being pregnant and doing things.
Except when the hormones kick in and I start sobbing and you have to hand me the tissues.
>>ASTER: I expected someone older.
>>DR. GLASS: Do you really wanna be doing therapy with someone who doesn't have the same songs on her playlist?
I mean, come on.
>>ASTER: My parents are separating. It's so predictable.
>>DR. GLASS: I'm sorry to hear that.
>>ASTER: It's just the way things are. Nobody stays together.
>>DR. GLASS: You think?
>>ASTER: Seems that way.
>>DR. GLASS: Or is it possible you aren't actually as cynical as all that and you're just protecting yourself against disappointment?
>>ASTER: They tried this once before.
>>DR. GLASS: Breaking up?
>>ASTER: Sending me to therapy.
You know I'm gay.
>>DR. GLASS: I didn't know. How would I know?
>>ASTER: I thought they might have said something.
But no, they're too politically correct and all like "whatever makes you happy".
>>DR. GLASS: Why does that seem to piss you off?
>>ASTER: You can't see through that? It's so phoney.
My girlfriend's dad doesn't have to say things like that. He doesn't aspire to be the grooviest parent in the universe.
He's just actually okay with it.
>>DR. GLASS: You have a girlfriend.
>>ASTER: Surprised?
>>DR. GLASS: Well, coming from the "relationships don't last" kid...
>>ASTER: Okay. So, I'm just a bundle of contradictions.
>>DR. GLASS: I don't take any other kind of patient.
So tell me about the first time.
>>ASTER: I had sex?
>>DR. GLASS: I meant therapy. But I'm interested in hearing about that, too.
>>ASTER: Actually, they both happened around the same time. And like an asshole I told my mother.
It was with a boy. I liked it, but there was something missing, and my mom was more twisted up about what was missing,
and what that might lead to, than me actually fucking a boy.
>>DR. GLASS: That's a pretty big leap.
>>ASTER: I always had crushes on girls.
>>DR. GLASS: Oh. Oh my.
>>ASTER: Am I grossing you out? Because if you're not cool with who I am --
>>DR. GLASS: My baby just kicked.
>>ASTER: Oh. Oh, wow.
>>DR. GLASS: Yeah. She's like "come on, show me the love. Enough with these people and their problems".
>>ASTER: It's a girl?
>>DR. GLASS: I'm in for it, aren't I?
So, these crushes --
>>ASTER: So awesome...
>>DR. GLASS: But, I felt something else in this room kicking, too. So, let's get back to you.
>>ELIZABETH: What exactly are you looking for?
>>VIVIAN: Something to do besides constantly think about myself.
>>ELIZABETH: What else is there?
>>VIVIAN: You're an actress. It's expected.
>>ELIZABETH: Hey! Sophie, get your butt over here.
Vivian needs some help. See what you can do.
>>VIVIAN: What's the matter? Afraid it might be catching?
>>SOPHIE: What?
Funny.
>>VIVIAN: Are you going out for the school paper?
>>SOPHIE: I don't know. You should, though.
>>VIVIAN: I'm just not up for writing some late article about the lame student council or the school dance.
I want to do something break out, you know. Follow a story nobody thinks is a story. Like, out in the world.
>>SOPHIE: I need to ask you something.
>>VIVIAN: Oh, God. Because I have to get on this if I decide to go for it. They want a 500 word article by --
>>SOPHIE: Vivian, when we were younger, did you like me? You know.
>>VIVIAN: Oh. You mean, in that way.
I didn't like anyone that way. Then.
>>SOPHIE: Okay.
>>VIVIAN: Okay.
>>ASTER: And then there was a girl. And my parents were freaking out because I was so gone over her.
I guess it was just taking up too much room in the household.
>>DR. GLASS: It was? Or it felt like you were? Taking up too much room. You and your feelings.
>>ASTER: I have big emotions.
>>DR. GLASS: The thing about big emotions is --
Oh, crap. This is the part I'm so not good at. We're going to have to stop in a minute.
>>ASTER: Wait. You were going to tell me what the thing is.
>>DR. GLASS: The thing is we need more time. So, you're just gonna have to come back.
>>ASTER: That's, like, emotional blackmail.
>>DR. GLASS: It's one of my better tools.
>>ASTER: If I come back, how are you even gonna know what we were talking about?
>>DR. GLASS: That's my homework. I open up a place in my brain for Aster. And then you're in.
But, it's something you're going to have to trust me with.
>>ASTER: You think you have enough room for me?
>>DR. GLASS: I have enough room for a whole human person inside my body, I think I can give you some space in my head.
>>VIVIAN: Hey, you! Where did you disappear to?
Seriously, I could never tutor a little brat. You deserve my praise.
Thank, Soph.
Yeah, we're at the hang. She just did a coffee run.
Oh, unfair.
People can see how hot you're getting me.
Just don't ever put that in an email if you have thoughts of running for public office.
I can't. I'm in a public place.
Well, of course you are.
So, what are you wearing?