Felicia Day plays Sega Bassfishing Tourney 1996. It Sucks.


Uploaded by geekandsundry on May 21, 2012

Transcript:
[MUSIC]
Hey, y'all!
This week on Felicia Plays I'm going to
be doing some fishing.

Yes, I know I'm too old for pigtails.
In the quest to relive the childhood I didn't have--
through the Sega Genesis--
I have picked a game that involves something I've never
done before, personally, which is fishing.
Bass Tournament '96.
This looks like an amazing game, guys.
Let me just tell you, all my WOW characters are maxed out
on fishing.
I think fishing is a soothing virtual thing to do.
And I'm excited to have a game that's devoted to nothing but
fishing to experience.
Let's do some bass fishing.
It says, quote, on the back, "Graphics so real, you'll feel
the spray when that big one breaks the surface." OK.
Well, it's not so real right now, but we'll see.
There's something really messed up with his shirt.
He's got a--
I have no idea.
He doesn't look like anybody does he?
He looks like a wanted poster, this guy.
Right?
Like a nondescript, oval, man face.
I could do a music preview.
Let me see.
Do I want to just Free Fish?
No.
I want to tournament it out.
I am ready.
I'm ready for blood.
Please enter your name.
What's a fishing pseudonym?
It's going to be Soozy underscore Q. That's my
fishing name, y'all, Soozy_Q.
Why doesn't the Xbox have this incredibly efficient spiral?
This is underwhelming.
It has 16-bit male pattern baldness.
I should press the button.
All right.
Hey, this is a geography lesson, too.
It lies in Missouri and Arkansas.
The record--
yes, I can read--
bass and crappies--
wait, what?
Does it really say crappies?
OK, bass and crappies--
That can't say crappies.
That's not a fish name.
OK, well I just hope I catch a crappie.
I can't stop laughing.
I want to catch me a crappie.
Launching the boat.

Vroom!
Oh god!
That is not high-definition water.
How do I steer?

I have a virtual Zima in my hand, because
I don't drink beer.
I feel like I could find some fish here.
What do I do now?
Oh, OK.
What is going on?
There's like 15 sub-games in this game.
All right, so I just sit here and stare?
Oh, OK.
I'm moving the lure around.
That's about how fishing goes, right?
I don't think there's fish here.
How do I tell if there's fish here?

Everything looks the same.
Fishy, fishy, fishy, fishy, fishy.
Fishy, fishy.
I feel like this is a terrible game.
OK, so, Step One, you get in your boat.
Step Two, you figure out how to drive your boat.
Step Three, you have no idea what's going on.
I can't drive over this.
Maybe this is coral reef.
No, I'm in Arkansas.
I believe he said I was in Arkansas.
Is this like an environmental lesson that there are no more
fish in Arkansas?
Because that's what I'm seeing right now.
This is unrealistic.
Somebody just put--
I can't go over there.
Look at this.
Now I want to go up there.

This is the least fun I've ever had playing a video game.
How do I catch a fish?

I exited the game because I needed to look online to see
what was going on.
And basically, it's the combination of lure and line
that you have that will attract a fish.
Because these are really picky fish.
They're very high maintenance, it's like Hollywood fish.
On another note, the red-haired gentleman who is
escorting us through this game?
Fish Fishburne.
His name is Fish Fishburne.
And seriously, he's wearing a hat that says
Team Grandma on it.
OK, so what I'm going to do is, I'm going to go to Free
Fishing, and I'm going to just load up on every single lure,
and I will get a [BLEEP]
fish.
I had fish tacos last night for dinner, so I feel like I'm
overly qualified for this.
Oh, oh, oh!
Did you see that?
Oh my god!
There was a fish!
There was a fish right there!
OK.
There's a fish down here.
There's a fish.
There's two fish!
Look right there!
I get this game now.
There's a sonar that's like a sonar tornado in the top left.
I don't know what's over there in the top right.
And then--
I'm gonna get me a fish.

Oh, look!
Guys!
Guys!
It's almost indiscernible from the rest, but there are fish
over there.

Oh my god!
No!
Yeah, you want it.
Come on.
Ah!
Ah!

I'm doing something.
I'm pulling him.
I don't know what to do.
Did I get him?
Yes!
Look, look, look, look, look.
Oh my god!
Small largemouth bass, this fish weighs 5.82 pounds.
This bass is too small.
You'll have to throw it back.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care about it.
I have to say that I am so excited that I got one fish,
because I really don't want to play this game anymore.
I think I'm going to go have some crappie for dinner.
I'm going to go to the fish market and be like, give me
some crappie.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Bye!