Two and a Half Men S1 Gag Reel [German]


Uploaded by banescar on 26.06.2011

Transcript:
Okay. Well, you know, since we're on the subject of lawyers and death...
my lawyer recommended that I redraft my rill.
Hey, Uncle Charlie, that's like my... Like soccer players...
Try it one more time.
- Hey, you're supposed to be sick, so just... - What? Huh? What?
Please, try and be on time with the premiums.
Now I say it?
Hey, Uncle Charlie, let's...
You invited Mom?
You wanna tell her I...
You tell her that.
'Cause I ain't telling her that.
Usually, I'm very professional.
- Hi, Dad. Hey, Uncle Charlie. - Hey, guys.
Rose, what are you doing?
Well...
My God. I'm sorry.
And not just for the one time.
Over the years, I've actually used the mental picture of that night as...
Hamburger Helper.
That's not the point.
She's about to run off with some jerk in a... I'm sorry.
That's not the point.
She's about to run ooo with some jerk who wants to marry her and...
That's not the line.
Sorry.
This thing's heavy. That answer was good, thank you.
Strap yourselves in.
Okay.
Okay. After I get the tickets, you line up for the popcorn...
while I go nail down some good seats.
I want butter in the middle. Don't just let them squirt it on the top.
And a large cherry Slurpee.
And then you hold the seats while I go hit the men's room...
and then I'll do the same while you do the same. Okay?
Okay, it's a lot, folks, so bear with me.
- Hey, Dad. Hey, Uncle Charlie. - Hey, guys.
Rose, what are you doing?
We're playing Mummy on a Chair.
Sorry.
What is... I have one line!
He said I have anger issues.
I need the heavy bat.
Okay, after I get the tickets...
you line up oor the popcorn while I go nail us down some good seats.
Then...
I already messed up the lines!
When the phone rings at Uncle Charlie's house...
we don't just willy-nilly pick up the receiver and answer it.
No. No.
What we do is we check the Caller ID.
And then... And then, my oriend...
And then...
Hello?
Okay. I'm glad you asked that.
Hey! Hey! Stay with me, buddy.
After I get the tickets, you line up for the popcorn...
while I go nail some good seats.
Nail some good seats?
Listen to me.
If you so much as lay one magic, probing finger on Liz...
you and I are going to have a very big...
What?
Oh, that's right.
- Get ready. - Oh, my God.
Yes, Judith.
And you care?
I love her, Alan.
She's the only one I thought I...
I love her, Alan.
Turkey's killing me.
Do you understand?
I think so.
You don't want Mom to know that there's a sexy laverer.
- Lady over. - Laver-er-er?
A flavorer.
Do you understand?
I think so.
You don't want Mom to...
Now, watch.
Okay, I lowered my right arm. I just... I guess my left arm took it.
You gotta learn how to relax.
Remember, we have Jake's session first.
Oh, man.
Oh, man. I forgot my line.
Oh, man!
I'm sorry, but isn't that kind of an invasion of my privacy?
It is, and I apologize for that...
but I handle a lot of... intercourses, and...
Would you like me to make you a snake, Jack?
Okay, okay. Okay, look. This is how it's going to be.
I will have Jake at the psychologist's office at 11:00.
Sorry.
Huge. Get ready, people.
This is the one.
Whoa. Hey. Okay.