MICROWAVE PORN: EPISODE 1 "JENNIFER"


Uploaded by cancelproof on 11.12.2009

Transcript:
On a dark and stormy night
when Dave was fast asleep
a bolt of Mystical Lightning
brought his microwave to life!
Now the microwave's alive
and it's addicted to Porn.
And Dave is an architect. "I'm more of an assistant."
And Dave is pushing thirty.
So Dave is pushing thirty
and the boy just needs a girlfriend.
But it's not easy
especially when your microwave has
behavioural issues.
I have a problem.
Hey, Allen.
What you got for me?
Come on, I have a date.
I ask you for one thing. The same thing I asks you for every day: a stack of filthy magazines.
WHERE ARE THEY?
Come on, I have in like twenty minutes, okay?
I ain't heating no dinner and I ain't charming no date.
What do you need?
Get a pen.
I got a problem!
I got everything on the list.
Great. Let's get to work.
Hold one up for me.
Open it.
Not bad. Not bad. You're a good boy, Dave.
Now put them inside.
Feather them.
What?
Ruffle them up a bit.
Yeah! Love the texture.
Clear.
Time.
Three. Zero. Zero. Cook control eighty-five.
Now turn me on.
[electrified moaning]
[more electrified moaning]
Mystical Lightning!
Hello?
Oh hey, come on in. I'm just finishing up here in my, uh, kitchen.
Oh, right. So I suppose this is your talking microwave?
How do?
Oh.
How does it work?
Is there a speaker in there?
Nope. Real deal, baby. Mystical Lightning.
Oh. He's charming. And his little tie is adorable.
Sure is.
So where did you get your hair cut? It looks really good.
You two have fun now.
[groans of effort]
I think I'm late for work.
Me too.
[munching sounds]
ALLEN!
[spits out panties]
I have a problem.