The Guild - S5 Ep5: Focus Problems


Uploaded by geekandsundry on May 8, 2012

Transcript:
Okay, eavestrapolation... Floyd is gonna sell our game!
That guy he was with, his name is Chet Grumwald. I clocked his badge.
Yes, I used the word clocked.
I've been watching a lot of detective shows lately.
Anyway! I looked him up, and he works for RTX,
the in-game, big-bad of corporate gaming.
RTX takes indie games and sucks them up, and then spits them out,
with marketing, and glitzy graphics, and...
And they put the characters on fast food cups, and just... Ewww!
And Floyd looked so down and depressed.
And I'm sure he was referring to me with that morons comment!
Man, I'm such a perp.
Hey Codex, you and Zaboo do it yet?
OMG! Did you?! Did you do it here? Oh! What about on the table?
I don't want to talk about it! Oh yeah. There's that, too.
I am not being histrionic!
Drop the paperwork? What else could that mean?!
Strength buff.
In a daytime syndicated court of law,
I don't think speculation of this sort would be admissable evidence.
Take down the Lorax, Clara! Use frost!
Well, he could've been talking about anything.
Like maybe he ordered a bride from the Baltics.
Huh! Possible baddies, incoming. Pew pew.
No, it was definitely businessy! The suit-guy, he works for RTX.
He stood out at the con like Darth Vader at a baby shower.
Ugh! Bladezz! You're drawing aggro, shielding!
Who cares if he sells the game?
It's been around five years, no one's gonna screw with it.
Stunning shot on the shaman! [In-game screams] Crap, down.
Big companies are fine! What harm have they ever done except for being big?
Ugh, I'm down.
A more ignorant statement I've never heard.
Remind me to lend you Atlas Shrugged.
Codex, heals!
What if the shut down the game?! [In-game screams]
Guys, we just wiped, and you don't even care! Zaboo!
Alright, alright. Master Chiefs, we'll reconvene in 2100 hours.
[Clara] What's the deal with your helmet friends? Did they bring snacks?!
No. My seat saver's organization has gotten so big,
I've had to recruit help just to run it.
Found those guys sneaking an old lady
into a Malcom McDowell look alike contest. Good peeps.
Are you forming a cabal? That interests me.
I don't know what that means.
But, I did rework my schedule so I could fit in 48 screenings and panels!
Just this weekend. Just gotta stay up and do it all!
First up, Fable: Tickle Your Way to the Monarchy!
So, where are we? Hailstone Gulch? Let's do this, I got 14 minutes.
14 minutes?! We have another hour to raid!
I'm overbooked this weekend!
That's why I got the Master Chief assistants.
I cannot believe you!
The guild is more important than your stupid butt warmer group!
Are you trying to tear us apart?
Over-dramatic'd.
See Codex? Why would you be into him?
You just need to do it already. I'll watch.
Wait, you told them about our thing?
[Clara] Everyone.
[Vork] She's quasi-semi-partially attracted to you.
It's a genetic fool's errand.
Are you guys gonna have babies?
No! No, it's, just... We... I don't wanna talk about it!
We agree it wasn't going to work. Dead end'd.
So you guys kissed, to make sure it was okay?
Well there's only one way to find out,
you gotta download the demo to make sure.
No, Clara, this does not feel right! I just don't... Oh!
At least she didn't through us into a closet.
- That would've been a real analogy. - Yeah.
- Ha! - Yeah.
- Ey! - Okay, so... we're, uh, here.
Well, maybe we don't have to do this at all.
You know, we can just, like, pretend...
No, no, no! I think we should try it out.
I mean, you know, definitively decide, one way or another. Right?
- Cool, I'm game. - Okay.
Maybe we should do, like, a count-down.
- Oh, good idea! Okay. - Alright.
- Three, two... - One, two...
Okay, we're gonna go from one... Okay, alright, here we go.
- Three, two... - One, two... Alright.
Okay.
Three.
Two.
One.
- Umm... - It's not good.
- I'm gonna stop kissing you now. - Yeah, please do.
Okay.
- I was... - I mean, it wasn't horrible, it was...
It just was like cardboard, a little bit.
Frrriieeennds.
Yeeeeah.
- We're friends! - Okay!
- Yeah. - Done.
Yeah! Alright.
So, uh. That's it, right?
Hey, remember that time we got shoved into that bathroom,
and then we totally started making out? Like hardcore... You know...
- Too soon'd? - Too soon'd.
Okay.
So, it didn't work out, Zaboo and I are definitely not compatible, I mean...
Hello?
What are you guys looking at?
Oh, Vork here talked us into the fancy celebrity autograph area.
Currently watching the fruits of our labor.
Oh this crap's paying for our room rental, by the way.
People actually pay you to sign stuff?
Heh, better, check this out.
Agh, we're fighting!
Ahh! I'm being pistol whipped!
We're so strong!
We're on the moon, man.
Ah, you're friendly!
For a small fee, cheesy pirate kid will debase himself in a video of your whim.
At your service.
You're whoring yourself out for money?
Hey, if the name fits, I'll wear it.
Guys, we gotta figure out what's going on with the game!
Does anyone want to take time out of their busy schedule tomorrow
and adventure-game this out with me?
I'll go with you, Codex.
I have to go pick up that box of shirts
Clara and I left at that snotty steam punk booth too.
Oh, no no! Let me get the shirts; I wanna help with our business.
You just wanna go stare at that clock-work stuff again.
I know! You guys, so there's this new thing that I'm totally into...
There's clock pieces, and brown and shiny bits...
And top hats and corsets! It's like my new favorite thing.
I'm gonna go to the booth, get our shirts,
and me and the pretty girl are gonna become best friends!
[Everyone mumbles vague "yays"]
How can you guys be calm about this?!
I mean, we're talking about our game's existance!
What else do I have? I mean, I'm unemployed...
Clearly my personal life is a disaster. And I just, I don't think...
[Everyone mumbles angrily at Codex]
Did you guys kiss already? I forgot to notice.
Guys, the game stuff can wait okay?
This con is basically the epitome of living life!
Must stay up. Ginseng'd!
Oh, hey! Anyone want to go to a superhero party with me for 36 minutes?
One of the bouncers is on my seat saver's list.
- Oh, yeah! - Hell yeah!!
Ew, Bladezz, please don't go.
Absolutely not!
I'm not gonna go just to watch you guys having raving,
and boozing, and all-night pill-popping fun!
I'm gonna stay here and eat room snacks.
No you will not!
We cannot party, the very fabric of our...
...social existence is threatened! I mean, come on! Ahh!!
[Music]
I can't believe they carded me. Don't they know who I am?
Dude, I gotta go to like ten more parties tonight. Ugggh!
So exhausted! I need an energy drink!
That's the stuff! Master Chiefs, clear a path!
Oh, hey Tink!
Drunk isn't helping me. My life is just really empty, you know?
I mean, what am I gonna do without the game? Loneliness.
Codex, you take everything so seriously! I mean, just...
Uh... Pretend to kiss me!
Okay.
Pretend, you perv!
Wha... what are you hiding from?
Oh, the pretty girls? I really like your eyelashes.
Okay, yes, the blonde chicks, I can't let them see me!
Why?
They're my sisters!