Евгений Петросян - Интузазизм (Энтузиазм)

Comrades!
You often ask me about... What's back there?
Svistunok (Gadwall), what is your vocation?
I answer: Intusasist! (Enthusiast)
That's what I am.
When you are an intusasist, you don't need a vocation.
At all kinds of work your eyes are burning, ears stays up, you can do everything!
You make things the way, your mother won't identify it.
You do it, while singing: "Alaulu, hunt geese!"
Singing: "Alaulu, hunt geese!"
My Boss sent me... What's back there?
Svistunok, we want to build a new house, so crash the old one.
Just a moment. I organized a team. After an hour we finished.
Boss came at the afternoon and said: Svistunok, you jerk! What did you done? You crashed the wrong house.
This one was build just last year.
So what? I was just officious. Aren't you sometimes officious?
But where is the intusasism?
You got a difficult question, then call me! I will solve all your problems...
What's back there?
At the same moment I will solve every problem.
Let's face the problem of quality. Some of you say our goods don't match with the standard.
Take the shoe of the last season.
Just when you want to pick it up.
That's a thing. You can do anything with it.
When you trough it at your wife, it's done!
You'll be free!
I'll not talk about, that the shoes don't have wastage. You could read about it in the news.
Some people are looking for foreign stickers.
I recommend to write on our shoes with foreign letters.
Then they write made in Canada. We write made in Ulan Ude.
And everyone will buy it!
So the problem is solved. And what is back there?
Does my coat pinch me?
No!
We work on intusasism.
Look at our cars.
Former it took a half day to look for the material.
First the carburetor was wrong, then the axle, then the motor.
Then the intusasists grasped.
What you have, you should fit.
Look at the new beatyful cars! Model Combi.
Motor of a Lada, car body of a SIL. [Not in picture.]
Wheels of a Moskvich.
Price of a plane.
Take it. You don't want it? It's all right!
Problem solved. Intusasism has won.
But there is no order. Enter a pharmacy, it's just like:
We don't have it. That's out. We don't have it. That's out. That's out. That's out.
It doesn't matter! Where is your intusasism?
Where is your alaulu?
You can find any medicine as compensation.
You got no gloves? Where are they?
Better, you can do it without them!
Intusasism is just like: When you start a thing, don't stop till you've done! When you have a lot of gumption.
In summer they turn off the hot water, doesn't they?
That's the right way of intusasism.
Why do you need hot water in summer, when it's hot outside?
That's only the half thing. In winter they have to turn off the cold water!
That will be economizing!
What's back there?
Are wings growing on my back?
When you start then go on!
Problems with alcoholics. They didn't solve it yet.
But they reached something.
Some of them know, that they are alcoholics.
But some think not alone.
Just ask me. As a intusasist I can solve that problem.
I suggest alcoholics a severe punishment.
Don't take empty glasses!
Show me a jerk who will drink, when he can't return his dishes.
Problem solved. And... What's back there?
When you've started, then go on! Alaulu, hunt geese!
They establish a tax for dogs with 15 Rubel per year.
All right! No dog is against it.
And look what pets people have today. Canary, hamsters.
Mice eaten by snakes. That is living money.
Apart from the cockroaches!
They should take for every cockroach 1 Rubel.
Then the price for crystal can be halved.
By the way we got more crystal than cockroaches.
Else it's just like oh, oh! Oh, what's back there?
What shall we do? We need intusasism!
You'll always find your way!
When you got no teapot, use a saucepan.
Got no razor blade, use a axe.
Got no napkin, you got a grinder!
Essential happy! Roll up your sleeves! In a word: Alaulu, hunt geese!
What's back there?
[An enthusiast is able to solve all the problems, but not his biggest one: What the hell is on his back and tortures him?]
[The solution of the riddle in few minutes.]
Thanks!
I know you worked out something. You just gave a sign. And I want you to show...
- You get it?! - Yes, I did.
A friendly imitation of Evgeny Petrosyan.
I often get asked.
Petrosyan.
Whats on your back?
What's your vocation?
I answer:
Honourable intusasist!
I know everything.
I'm interested in only one question.
What is on my back?
Does my coat pinch me?
Did i forget someting there?
They say. [...] He even called his mates.
And what was the result? Only alaulu, hunt geese!
Petrosyan do that, Petrosyan do everyting!
But I stand here and think: What is on my back?
[He take someting out of his back.]
I knew it! Honourable intusasist of the republic Evgeny Petrosyan.