Wainy Days #6 'A Woman's Touch' (Rashida Jones)

Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on Sep 4, 2007

DAVID: You know, I think if you buy into this feminist
philosophy, you're going to get yourself in trouble.
ANDREA: Do you realize how offensive
you're being right now?
DAVID: Andrea, it's just basic science.
Men go all over the place, and they screw.
That's how-- that's what they do.
And women stay home and take care of the nest.
ANDREA: Jesus, you're a fucking caveman.
DAVID: Why do you think men make more money?
That's why women stay home and they like, raise kids, and
they're basically good at being
secretaries and teachers.
ANDREA: Oh my god.
DAVID: Orville and Wilbur Wright.
They were men.
They invented airplanes.
They can fly.
It's not a coincidence.
Look at George Washington Carver.
He invented peanut butter.
He was a man.
A black man, yes, but he was a man.
Like, look, how many whores are there
versus how many gigolos?
I never see gigolos.
Whores, a lot.
ANDREA: David, you don't understand women at all.
And until you do, you're going to be miserable and alone.
Excuse me.
DAVID: What are you doing?
ANDREA: Excuse me.
DAVID: What?
Would you wait a second?

DAVID: I know what you thinking, right?
I don't understand women.
Well, you're right.
I don't understand women.
They're life's greatest mystery to me.
But how would I learn how women tick?
I mean, what?
Is there some kind of school for women?
I mean, yeah, maybe Smith College is one, and Mount
Holyoke, Brynn Marr, Barnard, Wellesley College.
Ratcliff, Vassar, Mills College, Hollins University,
Simmons College, Sweet Briar College.
But where am I going to learn about what it's
like to be a woman?
Wait a minute.
Say, man, you know a place around here where a guy can
get ahold of a canister of lipstick?

MATT: Uh, hi.
DAVID: I couldn't help but notice you
from across the room.
I am so hard right now.
I mean, my nipples are so erect right now.

DAVID: Matt.
It's me, David.
You're favorite single friend.
MATT: Oh my god, David, is that you?
I'm under cover.
I'm trying to learn more about women.
MATT: You completely had me fooled.
FEMALE SPEAKER: need to learn how to listen.
When I'm having sex, I want to be able to
tell him what I like.
FEMALE SPEAKER: You think after four years he would
remember my birthday.
How hard is it to remember my birthday?
DAVID: Now that I know everything about women,
Andrea's going to be putty in my hands.

DAVID: Our culture can be so misogynistic.
It's hard enough for women to compete in the career track
with the way society frowns on maternity leave.
I don't know.
As far as I'm concerned the woman's place in the house,
the White House.
I'm truly impressed with your progressive attitudes.
What made you change?
DAVID: Well, let's just say I got in touch
with my feminine side.
ANDREA: Cheers to that.
ANDREA: By they way, just so you know, I'm still not
attracted to you.

DAVID: Anybody home?
I'm here to spill my seed for cash.
I guess nobody's here.
I'll just get ready to do my thing.
FEMALE SPEAKER: May I help you?