Westminster Dog Show... on Acid!

BRAYDEN OLSON: Hey, my name's Brayden, and I'm going to the
Westminster Dog Show at Madison Square Garden on acid.

See you guys tomorrow, or later today.

Whoa, look at that smoke.

JONATHAN SMITH: So how many times have you tripped
acid in your life?
BRAYDEN OLSON: Zero.
JONATHAN SMITH: Zero times.
So today's the first time.
BRAYDEN OLSON: But I've never been to a dog
show, either, so.
JONATHAN SMITH: So it's two firsts.
BRAYDEN OLSON: It's two--
two new things for me today.
JONATHAN SMITH: There's actually going to be 986 dogs
competing today.
BRAYDEN OLSON: That's a lot of digs.
JONATHAN SMITH: What do you think it's going to be like,
tripping for the first time at the biggest
dog show in the world?
BRAYDEN OLSON: I think it would be fun to go there not
on acid, so on acid it's probably gonna be amazing.
JONATHAN SMITH: Yeah.
It's gonna be way better.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Yeah.
I'm gonna try and find dogs with good vibes.
Fluffy dogs.
Nice dogs.
I'm kind of scared of seeing a Greyhound.

JONATHAN SMITH: What are your three favorite dog names?

BRAYDEN OLSON: I'm not really for naming animals.
JONATHAN SMITH: Not at all?
BRAYDEN OLSON: No, not really.
JONATHAN SMITH: How are you feeling right now?
BRAYDEN OLSON: Feel good.
JONATHAN SMITH: Yeah?
BRAYDEN OLSON: Yeah.
JONATHAN SMITH: You seeing anything?
Is it--
have butterflies in your stomach or anything?
BRAYDEN OLSON: No.
I feel totally, like, relaxed.

It's like there's a lot of fucking birds out here.
JONATHAN SMITH: Yeah.
There's actually no birds around at all.
BRAYDEN OLSON: There's birds over there.
There's birds on that thing.
There's birds on that roof.
They're all making noise.
[LAUGHS]
On the roof, I heard a lot of birds chirping like crazy.
Things slowly started getting confusing.
It heightens your senses.
You can hear, like, sounds from really far away.
And things that aren't necessarily really interesting
are just extremely interesting.
JONATHAN SMITH: Let's go.
Let's do this.
BRAYDEN OLSON: We got into a car, which I was not excited
about, after we left the roof.
Taking acid in New York is a little bit crazier than taking
acid, let's say, like on a lake or in the woods, which I
would prefer.
There's nowhere to go anywhere in New York where there's no
one at, especially at Madison Square Garden.
You're stuck there.
So you have to enjoy it.

When we got there, we had absolutely no idea what we
were going to do.

That dog is crazy.
Oh my god.

It was sort of freeing to just be that dumb and to just take
everything in and be like, it's OK.
I know that I'm on drugs.

I was just very aware of where I was at and the types of
people that I could go and talk to.
We're here at the 136th Westminster Dog Show.
And we're going to talk to Clyde Barry, who's a very
well-known dog owner.
Excuse me.
Would you mind--?
JEFF BRUCKER: One-- one second, Gary.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Sorry, what was your name?
JEFF BRUCKER: Jeff Brucker.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Jeff-- oh, I thought you were someone else.
JEFF BRUCKER: No.
I'm not.
BRAYDEN OLSON: I'm sorry.
Wasn't him.
I definitely took advantage of the press pass, because you
could-- basically, you had free rein on the whole place
to do whatever I wanted, 'cause we had a camera.
So people would talk to you.
You were like validated.
It was pretty empowering.

BRAYDEN OLSON: These two ladies know more
about dogs than I do.
First of all, do you both--
do you both--
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Breed.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Do you both breed dogs?
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: We both breed--
BRAYDEN OLSON: Are you both doggers?
FEMALE SPEAKER 2: Yes.
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: We're both dog people.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Is that a term?
Doggers?
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: No.
Dog people.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Dog people.
The lighting's really nice in here.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Yes.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Makes it nice to take photos.
And the colors.
Are you here just to see the dogs?
DOG HANDLER: No, I'm a handler.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Oh, you are?
You're definitely the prettiest
girl at the dog show.
DOG HANDLER: Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
BRAYDEN OLSON NARRATING: I really liked the older man who
told me the joke about how women at cat shows are fatter.
MALE SPEAKER 1: You know, the difference between a dog show
and a cat show is that at a cat show, the women are really
heavy, because you don't have to run the cats.
And at a dog show, people are a lot slimmer.
So I've come to the conclusion, dog shows are
healthier than cat shows.
[BLOWS IN MIC]
BRAYDEN OLSON: There wasn't really press walking around
and just asking people questions, so they probably
thought I was like really official.
So I felt like I could go up to anyone and just sort of
play with their head and just do whatever I wanted.

Can I ask you a few questions about the show?
FEMALE SPEAKER 4: Sure.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Just about what your name, and--
FEMALE SPEAKER 4: OK.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Is she wearing a diaper?
FEMALE SPEAKER 5: She's wearing, um, a panty.
BRAYDEN OLSON: A panty.
FEMALE SPEAKER 5: Yeah.
She's-- time of the month.
BRAYDEN OLSON: That's a little sexier.
FEMALE SPEAKER 5: Yeah.
BRAYDEN OLSON: I didn't know dogs had a time of the month.
FEMALE SPEAKER 5: They do.
About every six months.
BRAYDEN OLSON: I didn't know that.
FEMALE SPEAKER 5: Yep.
BRAYDEN OLSON: That's like a time of the year.
FEMALE SPEAKER 5: Time of the year.
Yes.
There you go.
BRAYDEN OLSON: What's your name?
MATT STANDER: Matt.
Matt Stander.
BRAYDEN OLSON: And you are you with?
MATT STANDER: Dog News.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Dog News.
Um, I don't know much about Dog News, but if you could
tell us a little bit about what you guys do--
MATT STANDER: It's a vertical publication for
the show-going public.
It's been printed weekly for the last 28 years.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Wow.
OK.
That's about it.
MATT STANDER: That do it?
BRAYDEN OLSON: Yeah.
Thank you.

I started to get more and more confused as it started taking
effect more.
MALE SPEAKER 2: Well, it depends.
Some years, sometimes they'll go for--
BRAYDEN OLSON: There was a point where I was just, like,
holding a microphone and had no idea what they were saying.
Like I could see them talking.
I could hear it.
But none of it made sense.
There was this fan there.
I think it was coming from the top, but it was just, like,
blowing my face.
[WIND IN MICROPHONE]
BRAYDEN OLSON: It's pretty good.
I actually don't want to leave.
You guys-- are we leaving?
[WIND IN MICROPHONE]
BRAYDEN OLSON: I remember thinking it felt like I was in
a desert and there was, like, sand whipping
around me and stuff.
And it was one of the best feelings, and I was trying to
do interviews in it.
It was so horrible.
FEMALE SPEAKER 6: Today we showed Black Russian terriers,
Norfolk terriers, Brittanys, Vizslas,
Goldens, and Labradors.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Oh my god.
[APPLAUSE]
BRAYDEN OLSON: I just walked around and
ended up in the bleachers.
I was kind of alone, but like, there was
tons of people around.
So I kind of spaced out for a while, and
that was really nice.
I was tripping the hardest probably when I was sitting in
the bleachers by myself.
The ceiling had all these crazy lights, and I remember
kind of tripping out, looking at the lights.
And it just felt really good and comforting.

I like your shirt.
MALE SPEAKER 3: Thank you.
BRAYDEN OLSON: It's a good one.
I came away with a new appreciation for dog owners.
They're very serious about their dogs.
It's like their child.
And it's their life.
That's what they live for.
What's your favorite thing about this dog?
FEMALE SPEAKER 7: Everything.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Everything?
No.
You have to pick one thing.
FEMALE SPEAKER 7: One thing?
His-- his personality.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Yeah?
He's a sweet dog?
FEMALE SPEAKER 7: He's an excellent dog.
This is what he loves to do.
BRAYDEN OLSON: Hey.
FEMALE SPEAKER 7: He's saying he loves to show.
BRAYDEN OLSON: I like dogs, but not like on that level.
So.

I remember tripping, but it's weird.
I don't remember a lot of it.
I just remember bits and pieces and
being really confused.
I didn't really have visuals.
Like things were a little brighter and stuff, but there
wasn't-- like dogs weren't like flying through the air.
Which is what--
I kind of hoped that would happen.
But I kind of--
I'm glad it didn't, 'cause I probably would've really
freaked out.
The cool thing is, I never had a bad experience.
I was kind of scared that I was gonna freak out, but I
didn't at all.
I had, like, an amazing time.
Definitely a overall good experience on acid.
Sorry, Mom.

We did like 10 takes of trying to like walk out the door.
And I just remember it was so hard.
JONATHAN SMITH: Come on, dude.
Come on!
Oh, Jesus Christ.
BRAYDEN OLSON: I was sort of scared that I wasn't gonna
leave, though, at a point.
I was like, am I gonna be like this forever?