Uploaded by Dano16 on 26.04.2012

"It was near the end of summer.
"I had just turned 17."
- You wouldn't have found this notebook had I kept it locked up. - Read on.
- "It was near the end of summer." - Read it with feeling.
"I had just turned 17.
"And that day,
"I was saying goodbye to my childhood home.
"Orphaned at a young age, I had only Camille in this world.
"I had grown up alone with him
"in my ancestors' isolated and dilapidated castle.
"I knew nothing and no one.
"In all matters, I knew only what little Camille had taught me.
"As for women, all I knew was an unfinished portrait of my mother.
"One day, after a very poor meal,
"Camille decided it was time for a change.
"We had to leave.
"Camille hoped my wealthy aunt, Countess of Valendry, would take charge of me,
"of him, well, of us.
"And so, at the end of the summer, Camille and I departed for Valendry."
If we slept for a while, we would be more rested.
I don't feel tired.
You sleep, I'll read.
Where were you?
"Camille and I departed for Valendry.
"We arrived on a Saturday, in the middle of the afternoon. It was hot.
"I was about to start a new life."
or The Diary of a Virgin
Let's go.
Let's not speak at the same time. I'll go first.
Mme Countess...
Dear Countess...
Mme Countess...
You mustn't pick roses.
Nor toss them aside.
Mme Countess,
here stands before you your nephew Benjamin, and
here am I, myself, who am nothing to you, but
who flatter myself to think I mean much to him.
- Isn't that a bit too complicated? - No, it's very well put.
It's cool in here.
- Hey there! Someone? - Where?
You're silly. I didn't say "Hey, there, someone!" but "Hey there! Someone?"
Over here!
Over where?
That depends on where you are.
In an impressive hallway.
With red curtains.
- Then go all the way to the end. - It's nice.
Yes, it's not bad.
There's a staircase to the left.
We see it.
Come on down.
Are you there?
I should have told you they wax the stairs here on Saturdays.
Good thing I have a plump butt.
Just a bit further and you're there.
I've served here for 25 years.
I had never noticed the curtains in the hall were red.
They are. What are you up to?
- Tarts. And you? - Looking for the Countess.
I can't help you. Down here, I know nothing.
- Benjamin! - It's good.
All modesty aside, it is rather good.
- No, my hands are dirty from my travels. - No matter. I'll be cooking it.
- Excellent dough. - Now I need apples.
No doubt asleep under the apple tree.
Go wake him up. Maybe he can tell you where the Countess is.
And tell him Basile is waiting for him.
- Who's Basile? - Your servant.
No, his name is Camille.
In any case, he's not my servant.
- Listen. - I understand. He's Basile.
Here's the basket of apples.
- It looks like Célestin over there. - It looks like it to me as well.
Better mind your Célestine.
Oh, Célestine... She's jealous like anything.
And I beat her every night.
- Hello, Madame. - Hello, child. - Hello, gentlemen.
- Basile is waiting for the apples. - As usual.
Instead of picking apples, he's pitching woo.
He pitches wood?
That's right.
What can do I for you... Sir?
We're looking for...
the Countess.
You should ask her girls in the rooms upstairs, Marion and Célestine.
- How many children does she have? - None.
What about her two girls?
Let's go see those young ladies.
- Listen. "Girl..." - I know.
"Girl" doesn't mean girl.
"Servant" doesn't mean servant.
And "woo" is not the same as wood.
I can see you haven't taught me anything.
- Look at them sleeping. - Come on.
We mustn't wake them.
- What is it? - We're looking for the Countess.
- She's not here. - Where is she?
The party will come home for supper.
- Very nice. - What is?
Well, the unmade bed, servants sleeping instead of working.
I'm hungry and sleepy.
To sleep is to dine.
Go to sleep.
Let's go back to the castle. The Countess must be home.
What would you do if your lover told you he was about to leave you, and did?
But I have no lover. How dreadful!
A lover? I have several.
- Excellent answer, sir. - Let's see... If my lover left me...
Your turn. What would you do if an elephant sat on your head?
I'd look into a mirror before and after to see the difference.
Even with your face smashed in, I'm sure you'd find a way to be the most beautiful.
Yes, it would take great pain and a great lover to have my face smashed in.
This is all so tedious. You're all so tedious with your identical faces.
- Philippe! - Countess, when one has eyes beautiful as yours, one has at least three.
Oh. Company.
They would come begging all the way to your bed. Give them something, Philippe.
- Madame... - Yes, friend?
We're not as you say. We are your nephew Benjamin.
Both of you?
Only Benjamin.
Well, let's see how you look, my nephew.
Célestine, shed some light on this nephew.
Be nice, you'll be spoiled. Be naughty, watch out.
We're very nasty to the naughty.
- I received the letter from your... - Tutor, Mme Countess.
Come closer, Benjamin.
- You wish me to take charge of you? - Precisely.
Answer for yourself, Benjamin. Let us hear the sound of your voice.
This little boy is dazzled by you. You've made him mute.
Not so. I simply couldn't think of what to say.
Come sit next to me, Benjamin.
Come, Camille.
Well, having seen you, I agree to keep you here.
- Having seen us, do you wish to stay? - Yes.
You're not eating, Camille?
We had not supped.
Good appetite.
How lucky he is. He's not bored. He's hungry, he eats.
Because I'm rich, I always eat before I'm hungry.
Thus, I'm never hungry, and I'm always bored.
This morning, you woke up thinking, I've been gay and charming for two days now.
Today, I'll be bored and I'll bore others.
Were we alone, you would see I haven't decided to bore everyone.
They're the ones boring me. Let them retire. So will we.
- I want to lie down. You? - Don't be a child.
These people haven't finished eating. Nor have we.
In bed, my love, an empty stomach is better than a bloated belly.
You don't wish to?
Too bad.
Do you know the one about the marquis who got on a chair and, with a leg in the air,
yelled, "I'm going to lay an egg?"
No? Neither do I. Too bad. It might have been amusing.
God, how tired this child looks.
Not at all, aunt. I may look it, but I'm not.
Don't sulk. You can see that I am doing what you want.
My friends, I have to put this nephew to bed.
He's stifling his yawns.
Forgive the short evening. Family obligations.
Good night.
Wait. I'll come with you. It's too early for bed.
- You're going out? - I feel like a short ride. Perhaps a long one.
Come, Benjamin.
Coming, Camille?
This is my nephew.
Benjamin, this is your room. And over there...
- Is that mine? - Yes, sir.
Be watchful of Marion. You seem a good boy.
Be watchful?
If she hates you, you will find your milk salty, frogs under your pillow, etc.
If she likes you, it will be worse.
No word is used more about me than angel.
- Except for demon. - Said so sweetly I prefer it to angel.
- Angel or demon? What say you? - I don't know you yet.
Now do you know more?
- I know you've eaten violets. - It was a sweet.
It flavors kisses.
Do you like your room?
Do you like Marion?
Camille, I shall be so happy here.
One is always happy around pretty women.
We had none where we lived.
- No women? - Not one.
- It was time young Benjamin left the countryside. - Old Camille, too.
Good night, young and old alike. Dream of us, then tell us your dreams.
- If they're proper. - Especially if they're not.
That Marion... What a demon.
I did not thank my aunt.
Leave it, Marion.
I myself will undress your mistress... and mine.
Where are you?
In bed.
- I thought you were riding. - Evidently. Don't state the obvious.
Would you like me to undress you too?
Leave us.
Little snoop.
Look. But be quiet.
Very well. I'll speak first.
The trouble is, I don't know what to say. I like Benjamin a lot.
You didn't speak to him.
Precisely. In the mood I was, I'd have only said unpleasant things.
And then?
Excuse me?
What else do you say?
That I need spice.
That my attitude enflamed your wrath, and your wrath is a spice to me.
Don't speak. You no longer love me.
That's what Mme de Chartres told me yesterday in the afternoon
after I had made love to her three times.
You had told me you were seeing Mme Latour.
I don't like lies, but I like a bit of mystery around my love life.
But let's get back to us.
That Mme de Chartres should speak to me of love, why not?
But you and I know that love is like the abominable snowman.
Some say it exists.
The abominable snowman? Perhaps.
That's what I meant, yes.
Well, I'll just say that...
you no longer want me.
You smiled as you said that,
knowing as a woman of experience that at this very moment, I want you badly.
The trouble with arguments is, if they're easy to start...
They're even easier to end.
You're undoing my hair.
I'm undressing you.
Now, come, little rascal.
Marion will put you to bed.
You seem lost in thoughts.
Just that there were many things I didn't understand.
For example,
How can you want someone?
To want some fruit or a stroll...
The darling little baby. So much to learn.
Look at me.
Am I an apple?
I'll show you that one can want someone the same as an apple
or a stroll.
Lay your hand against my cheek.
Slowly move it down to my neck.
Gently stroke my neck.
As if I were a cat.
Now let your hand drift down.
- What's this? Not yet in bed? - We're getting there, uncle.
- She-devil! - What's our name?
Well, M. Camille, sleep well.
- What was she telling you? - Well, she... - So I gathered.
That she-devil.
She-devil! Benjamin is a child, but I am a man.
- No... - Huh? - Excuse me. - What? - Pardon?
- I see. You mock me. - Oh, I'm your servant.
You won't get away from me.
- On Saturdays here... - One breaks one's bones.
Come closer.
Come. Looking at you more closely, I see that deep down you're not ugly...
You're horrid.
- Marion. Have you seen Célestine? - No, Célestin.
Célestine, you naughty wench. You just wait and see.
- What about Célestine? - She's not here.
So, old Camille, out of breath yet?
Ah, Célestine!
Yes, Célestin?
Come out now! Have you no shame? Take that!
- And that! Now off to bed. - Ow!
- Benjamin. - I'm here.
The lesson wasn't over.
- Do you feel like continuing? - Yes.
How quickly little Benjamin said this "yes."
Is that my aunt playing?
- Come. - Adrien!
That's enough for today.
Good night, Benjamin.
Sir Count.
My little marionette, what's the matter?
The matter is that you're neglecting your faithful servant.
It's just that tonight I'm very weary.
Allow me to try to help you unwind.
I place myself in your hands.
What a relief.
You looked so charming lying there.
- And I was afraid. - That I might be dead?
That you had harmful intent. It would have been a pity.
Forgive me for entering your bedroom without invitation.
- I fell asleep here purely by chance. - Really?
I took you for an elf or some goblin.
No, I am Benjamin.
- Who is Benjamin? - The Countess is my aunt.
And the king, my cousin.
And my husband is the emperor of Spain. No, let's be serious.
"Relieve me of a doubt. Do you know Don Diego?"
No, I don't know him at all.
Are you a friend of my aunt?
You are... Mme Latour.
No. Mme de Chartres.
It's that I've heard speak of you.
By the Count, speaking to my aunt.
I didn't understand very well.
To my aunt who said, "You no longer love me,"
the Count replied,
"That's what Mme de Chartres told me after I had made love to her 3 times."
- Do you understand what he meant? - Yes, I think so.
- But what did you not understand? - "Make love."
How can you make... a feeling?
And they had this conversation in front of you?
No, I heard it.
Then I must tell you three things.
One, you mustn't listen to conversations that are not addressed to you.
you mustn't repeat those conversations once heard.
Come here.
Is it possible you don't know what that means?
Well, three...
I am willing to explain to you what you didn't understand.
Climb on.
Hold on to me.
Where are we going?
For what I need to teach you, little boy, we need somewhere... quieter.
Here, we...
Strollers come by...
as I came by...
- Who is that? - Camille.
My tutor.
Benjamin. My little boy.
I've been looking for you all morning. Such worry. Where were you?
In the woods.
This carefree boy slept in the woods. I was bringing him back.
Lovely, lovely lady...
Don't trouble yourself, lovely lady.
Come on, you naughty boy,
switch mounts.
Goodbye, little boy.
Here they come.
Pink or green?
- Pink. - Really? Wear pink to tomorrow's party?
I'm afraid I'm no longer young enough to wear pink.
What do you say?
I say that you bore me when you simper.
Plus, you know me, I'm not one for compliments. I've never paid you one.
Often, and of the most vacuous sort.
What are you doing on that horse?
- You wouldn't be afraid of water? - Afraid?
- No, I drink it often. - Good.
Go take a bath in the castle. I'll come dress you after. Go on.
This way.
Hello, Marion.
- What's this? - A bath. Nice and hot.
Oh yes?
- What are you doing? - Getting undressed.
I'm not used to baths. But I gather one doesn't do it while fully dressed.
- Oh, it burns. - Come on, sit in it.
No, I can't. It burns.
- It's burning. - No, no.
- Do you see this kitten? - Innocent boy. Doesn't know a thing.
- What don't I know? - Not to get naked in mixed company.
- Why? - It's not done. - Never? - Well, sometimes. - When?
Let's do it, girls.
- What are you doing? - Wash my prince.
- His skin is white. - And soft.
My lovely Benjamin, we're so good together.
A lot of people in here.
- Is he ready? - Not quite. - He was very dirty.
- What happened to that one? - I fell into the bath.
Well get out of it, girl. And dry off Benjamin.
Thence to the Count's quarters.
Go dry yourself off, Victorine. We'll get him dressed without you.
- How do you feel after that bath? - Well. Only, I'm very hot.
Until we have clothes made for you, take some from here.
What's the matter?
- My head is spinning. - You're not used to bathing. Come.
Lie down.
Is this better?
I feel tight, here.
Terribly tight.
- There? - There.
Is it better now?
It's getting worse.
- How did I not see it sooner? - What, Aunt?
That you were no longer a child...
Well, you are.
How do you feel now?
I felt much better when you had your hand there.
But you told me...
But at the same time, I...
What then?
I don't know.
Put it back.
Come in.
The Count sent me. Does the Countess need anything?
Get this child dressed, Adrien.
M. Benjamin, you're so handsome!
Victorine, this way.
Benjamin, my son, you're so handsome!
It's a ways off, well, a few leagues from here.
- In Herbeville. - Near the Latours.
- Her hair is blond... - So blond. - And her eyes... - Eyes, so bright.
- Bright? - One could say. But eyes....
What's her name?
- Anne de Clécy. Her father is one of those Clécys... - Was.
- Well, she's lovely. - A lovely orphan.
But saddled with a horrid duenna.
- Has she been there long? - Since yesterday, I think.
- We went by a bit earlier... - And the duenna chased us in an uproar.
- The bell... - We're leaving. - 'Til tomorrow, friends.
Well, Benjamin...
Would you like to go for a ride?
Yes, uncle.
Uncle? I'm not your uncle. I'm your aunt's lover, not her husband.
I think I'll take charge of Benjamin's education.
Do as you wish. I don't care.
Go satisfy your curiosity.
- My curiosity? - For poor orphan girls.
- Well, go. - Well, let's go.
Don't come back before tonight.
I don't want men here before tonight.
I'm tired of them.
Well, Benjamin?
That's much better. I was feeling very poorly.
Foggy, sad, unable to breathe.
I don't know why.
Because for you, poor wretch, happy days are over.
God and the Devil have entered your life.
- God and the Devil? - Women.
Listen to this, and you'll know everything.
Life for a man is women, and the pleasure, or troubles, they give.
Otherwise, there's nothing. At least, that I know of.
I think that's true.
Since I came here, I think of nothing else.
What they told me.
How they looked at me.
How they smiled at me or scolded me.
- How their hands touched me. - And it shall be thus to the end.
- The end? - Ours.
Where are we going?
To see that orphan we've been told is so well defended.
Look, Benjamin, the pretty birds.
Look, my doves, the pretty horses.
So. The grey horse is polite.
So. The white bird smiles.
But the green horse is tiresome.
- This horse is not green. - No? Prove it.
It's easy. Everyone knows the grass is green.
Well, is this horse the color of grass?
It's just a different green. There are thousands of greens.
Green horses don't exist.
Grey horse, you're a laugh. What is this...
- if not a green horse? - A brown horse.
Then I'll be quiet. No sense arguing with horses. They always want to be right.
You're said to be orphaned. You're quite gay for an orphan.
I'm a gay orphan. Gay and mean.
I'm particularly gay and mean today, because I'm particularly pretty.
I don't see it.
Your skin is too white, your nose too short,
your teeth too big...
But the eyes?
What about the eyes?
Are they not beautiful, the eyes?
My name is not Berthe.
I'm not deaf.
Yes, your name is Berthe, and your horse is green.
You were right. I did not call you Berthe. Here she is.
These horses are bothering me, especially the green one. Chase them away.
My cousin and I, your servants and neighbors, have come
to invite you to the party tomorrow in Valendry. Come, Benjamin.
- Well, what about the orphan? - I find her...
You're at an age where you find all women divine,
even the duenna, the old Berthe. You like her?
- But that girl... Yes, she's refreshing. Not too silly. - I'd like to...
In truth, I'd like to give her a kiss.
Where are we going?
Wandering, until tonight.
My poor Benjamin.
My days must seem monotonous to you.
No. At home, I too would sometimes ride around all day.
Let's part. I'm not going home. I have a rendezvous there.
With a woman?
Do you really know a lot of women?
Very well, I'm going home.
You want to come with me.
With you?
- What would I do? - You'll watch.
- I'll watch? - What I do.
- What you do? - Stop repeating what I say.
You'll watch what I do, yes. What do you say?
I say, yes.
You may go.
I told your aunt I would take charge of your education.
It will be much more pleasant for you and for me
if instead of explaining things, I show them to you.
- Well, you'll see. See you in a bit. - Right. See you.
Mme Councilwoman, I am your fervent admirer.
I'm not ready.
- How did you get in? - Not ready?
There. You're perfect.
I'm not even dressed.
My dear, dear lady,
you invited me here tonight, knowing that ultimately I would strip you bare.
What a dreadful thing to say. In fact, I wanted to receive you downstairs.
- What does the Countess say? - About what?
Well, you're courting me. What does she say about that?
You're right, I'm courting you. I almost forgot.
What's the rush?
Wonderful, enchanting, so white, and seductive.
- Allow me to rush. - Don't tear everything!
- My God, I'm naked. - Completely.
- But that's awful. - Don't look. Close your eyes.
I simply wanted to offer you some tea.
Wait. Hold on.
- I'm holding you. - What will you do to me?
- I don't know. What will you do to me? - You're making me blush.
- What now? - Off to bed.
You've cost us at least one minute.
We could have been in bed instead of arguing.
And now...
you're the one talking.
That's true.
You're not undressing?
I like playing hussar.
You, naked
and me, with my boots on.
- Foot steps. - Of a man, or a very fat woman.
They're my husband's. Leave quickly through the window.
- Why is he here at this hour? - For the same reason I am, perhaps?
Why aren't you leaving?
I have to know one thing first: Is your husband jealous?
If he's not, why worry and flee?
Hello there.
Yes, he is jealous. Terribly.
In that case, sleep.
- You're mad. - Hello, sweetheart.
Are you sleeping?
Do as I say. Sleep.
You'll be a witness. I won.
- Won? - My bet.
The other day when your wife claimed to be a light sleeper, I bet her 100 Louis
that I could come lie down next to her without disturbing her sleep.
I'm quite light footed.
I was waiting for someone, a chambermaid or even you, to come witness my victory.
We woke her up.
What's the matter? Why are you here?
The matter is the bet I've just won.
What? I don't believe it. Impossible. You've just arrived.
Oh, but he won. I witnessed it.
He was right there, and you were sleeping.
You see?
Benjamin, you can come in.
Benjamin who?
This is Benjamin, my young cousin.
- He was on the balcony? - Of course, also to bear witness to my victory.
Your victory?
Oh, that's right.
Darling, I... Well, I'm afraid I have lost 50 Louis.
100 Louis.
But I have no money here.
Well, am I not a generous husband?
Here are those 100 Louis.
- 100. - Thank you.
Come, Benjamin.
Goodbye, my friends. See you tomorrow, at the party.
See you.
But I beg you, sweetheart. Don't make any more such bets.
Or make less expensive ones.
Well played.
Half of this is yours.
What you did earlier, what was that?
- Easy money. - No, before then.
The Councilwoman and I made love, very pleasantly.
So that's what those words mean.
I have a message from my mistress.
- Give. - No, not for you.
- For the younger of the two. - Well, well...
Well, read it.
Found you handsome.
Will gladly see you again at tomorrow's party.
There you are. Well done. Bravo.
Please ask your cousin
to turn over to Jacotte 50 of the 100 Louis he won,
which seem fair to me to share.
That's right. I have nothing to add.
Here's my share back.
Only half.
Tell me. This girl is sweet. Do we let her go?
We'll let her go.
Goodbye, Jacotte.
What do we do now?
I seem to remember an orphan you wanted to kiss.
Do you want us to go see her?
Come. The time is ripe.
This is the enchanted hour when women are getting undressed in bedrooms everywhere.
You see?
Too late.
I thought I recognized your voice.
Come in.
Sit down.
There. A pillow under your feet.
Don't stand. Sit on the bed. You'll be comfortable.
I like to stand.
I'm so glad to have visitors. I was so bored I would have never fallen asleep.
Why too late?
When you were outside, you said, too late.
In truth, Benjamin and I came to see you naked.
And you were no longer. That's why I said, too late.
You're lucky.
You want to go see naked women. You go.
My life is so sad.
My guardian is in love and wants to marry me. I don't love him.
Berthe and the gardener protect me.
- It's not true. - Not true?
What I just said. I lie all the time. It's not true. I don't lie. That's true.
What do you think, green horse? Is it true or not?
- Who cares? - Obviously, nothing interests you.
- Aside from naked women. - That's very true. My evening is lost.
Are you bored right now?
What if I kissed you right now?
Would you be less bored?
But it's not I who wish to kiss you. It's Benjamin.
Oh yes?
Stand up.
I made Benjamin happy. Now make me happy. Kiss me.
Why not?
Are you asleep?
- It's raining. - Yes, it's raining.
Yet it was sunny.
No matter. This scenery is lovely in the rain.
Is it lovely?
It is lovely.
I'm sleepy now. Put those men out.
We are thirsty.
Silence. The house sleeps.
Let us serve ourselves.
To Mlle de Clécy's health.
The first woman...
who has ever shown me the door.
And twice in the same day.
Yes, twice in the same day.
That's not water.
Yes, it is.
Fire water.
One drinks this?
But... why?
For the pleasure of it.
I like you, Benjamin.
You see. We're drinking.
You're drinking?
- Alcohol? - I'm learning to drink.
But for what purpose?
Why are you ruining this child?
I'm not ruining him. I'm educating him.
Is it you, Camille?
Oh, Aunt...
Aren't you getting ready for the party?
I would like to, but I think I'm very sick.
You're not sick. You drank last night. That's all.
Or so I heard.
So, tell me. Did you see that orphan?
- What is she like? - She is... I don't know.
You'll see her soon. She'll be at the party. Philippe invited her.
Let's go pick out one of his outfits for you.
It's dark in here.
Come on, get up.
Get out. People are sleeping here. You made me forget an unforgettable dream.
- Benjamin told me you've invited that young woman. - What young woman?
- Anne de Clécy. - I think so, yes.
- What is she like? - Who can remember?
Probably of no interest. Or I'd remember.
It's the first time I hear you describe a woman of under 60 as uninteresting.
Poor girl. Men are so silly.
You gave yourself away. You like that girl and want to seduce her.
Fine, but you're doing a very poor job of it.
Your face is puffy, your eyes red.
She's not even 20, and this morning you look 50.
My love, you're adorably wicked and I'm wide awake.
Victorine, where do I put the fruit?
- I'm hungry. - Save your appetite for later.
It will be too late.
- He's hungry too. See how pale he is. - I'm not at all hungry.
- Do you think we have enough? - If you keep everyone from eating, yes.
Please help me carry this armchair.
Marion, come help him. You can see he doesn't know where to put them.
I came to see you last night.
Ah? I didn't hear anything.
I leaned over and I kissed you.
I didn't feel a thing.
I know.
I was sad when I left.
But why did you come visit, Célestine?
Is it true you still have it?
Have what?
You do have it.
Kiss me.
Your mouth looks good.
Yes, good enough to eat. Very appetizing.
I like kissing you.
They're looking for you, Célestine. And the Countess is not pleased.
I'm going.
Would you help me carry this table to the arbor?
I wasn't truthful. No one is looking for Célestine. I was looking for you.
You were looking for me, Victorine? Why?
I came to see you last night.
- I didn't hear anything. - And I kissed you.
I didn't feel a thing.
- Is it true you still have it? - Have what?
You do have it.
Your mouth looks good, Victorine.
- Good? - Good enough to eat.
Very appetizing.
Well, M. Benjamin. Come on.
You're in such a hurry.
You're... you're so enchanting. So white and seductive. Allow me to hurry.
You speak so well. Go ahead and hurry.
Adrien told me you were here. Your aunt is looking for you.
The guests are arriving. She wants to introduce you. Come.
- No one is looking for me. - Why would I lie?
Victorine told the same lie.
Understand that I'm not Victorine.
I'm much prettier.
Much smarter.
And incapable of lying.
If Victorine told you the same thing, would you also say "yes" to her?
You've changed a lot since you came here.
Here's my aunt.
I like that piece a lot.
Play it several times for me.
I don't know this one.
It goes like this:
Yes, I do know it. It's quite lovely.
- Include it. - You wanted me?
- No. - But what about the guests?
They'll be here any moment.
- Why did you come to my room last night? - I didn't come - You did.
I heard you. And you kissed me.
You did. I felt it.
- Why didn't you say anything? - Because I didn't know.
I've just discovered that all women are the same.
- Me included? - Yes.
Why did you hit me?
So you discover that one can say everything to a woman
except that she's like other women.
Stay with me while we greet our guests.
Dear Aunt,
your hand is so small
and white and soft.
I'm fairly pleased with it.
My head is out of sorts.
Thousands of tiny thoughts leap at my forehead, like raindrops on a rooftop.
Such a young poet with big chocolate eyes.
What are those leaping thoughts?
For example, I'm thinking about your hand.
And then...
And then?
About your hand on my chest.
Well, that rain must stop.
For many excellent reasons, the best of which is that I love the Count.
But he loves you too.
Which doesn't stop him placing his hand on other ladies' chests.
That's because he loves me less.
Here come our first guests.
The unbearable Mme Latour.
Hello, dear friend.
Hello, my dear.
You're searching for Philippe, blind to Benjamin, my nephew.
- Where is he? - Where indeed?
- There. - This old lady can't get out.
Come on, I have you.
- Thank you, my sweet. - Come.
- Hello. - Hello, dearest.
But we came together. I am your daughter-in-law.
I thought you were younger.
She's furious. I do enjoy a good joke.
Where are we going, young man?
Who is it?
Had it been a man, I would say, an idiot.
- Why would you say such a thing? - Because you woke me up.
Rascal. I see you've appropriated the loveliest of the ladies.
- Hello, grandmother. - Hello, you.
Shall we sit there?
Thank you. You're both very sweet.
- I'm sure she won't come. - Who?
That Anne who thinks I'm a horse.
So be it. There are other lovely ladies here today.
Well don't stand here staring. Go talk to them.
What shall I say?
Here is a charming lady whom I do not know.
Here is what one might say to her:
God, you're ugly.
Yet I specified that
I wanted only pretty women at this party.
One moment.
I see now. I'm told you were not invited.
Since you're here, you might as well stay.
But how do you manage to be so ugly?
Don't cry. You'll flood this enchanting face.
Of course it's enchanting, you little twit.
This way, the relief is so great,
once this mild compliment has dispelled the fear of being ugly,
not only is the ice broken, but the lady is conquered.
- Isn't that so, sweetheart? - I don't know what to say. I feel topsy-turvy.
I'm still shaking.
Come this way. We'll calm you down.
Here she is.
Yes, there she is.
Come, lovely pink dress.
I've been neglecting you, but so much has been happening to me.
Have fun, my boy, and rest assured that I am too.
I just wanted to tell you that I still love you.
Straighten up, Fanchon. Smile, Lisette.
- Who are they? - Country girls, come to help.
Beautiful and refreshing, with bright red cheeks.
I know someone with eyes bigger than his stomach.
- This is as far as you got, I believe. - Alas.
That alas sounds a bit lascivious.
Tell me. Is it possible you've changed?
Very superficially. And much less than I would like.
Very good.
- Do you know the lodge in the park? - I do.
- How do you know it, innocent boy? - I took some flowers there earlier.
Then, after luncheon, at 4:00, you'll find me there.
- Hello, M. the Count's cousin. - Hello.
I'm glad.
I find you as handsome in the sun as yesterday by candle light.
I'm not as glad, for I find you less beautiful dressed than...
- You don't like my dress? - I'm trying to imagine...
that I don't see it.
- Do you know in the park...? - The lodge? I know it.
Come after luncheon. I'll be there.
After luncheon?
- I can't? - Why not?
- I have a lesson with my tutor. - Even on the day of a party?
He's a terribly strict man.
Poor boy. And when is your lesson over?
I will be... at 5:00 at the lodge.
Where have you been?
Neither you nor the Count were here to greet your guest.
- Forgive me. I was just... - The Count comes back to us as well.
I must compliment you on your guest, darling.
You've made a wonderful choice.
She seems tailor made for Benjamin. Look at them together.
Have we ever seen anything lovelier?
Sit on the ground, children.
We elders will use armchairs.
Why are you always in white?
Because I'm an ingénue. And everyone knows white is our color.
- But white doesn't suit you. - Nonsense. She's lovely.
Leave it. He thinks no such thing.
Isn't it true you think deep down white does suit me?
Daydreaming, Benjamin?
Your plate is full. Eat.
Then we'll go down to the river.
The men will row, and the ladies dream.
- What time is it? - Almost 4:00.
My little Anne, I entrust you to Benjamin.
- Come, Philippe. - It's just that... - Come along, Benjamin.
I've always thought I was an intelligent woman.
Yet there it is.
I'm just an idiot.
- You like that girl. - True.
And I foolishly block you with Benjamin.
Knowing that by making her inaccessible,
I can only make her even more desirable.
Even more desirable.
I also know that as long as you've not had her,
you won't get her out of your head.
Suddenly, you're not an idiot at all.
You must therefore have her.
What if she resists you?
I will marry her.
She won't resist you. Who does?
You're right. Be quick to seduce that little hen.
Then come back to me.
Don't be too agreeable.
I know those girls. You must be brusque with them.
What time is it?
Almost 5:00.
I'll tell you what. I'll even help you.
I'm in a terrible hurry. I'll see you in a bit. If you'll allow me.
I'm already very late, Célestine.
- I'll see you later. - At sunset during the dance. - Good.
- Where are you off to? - Please let go. - You're in a hurry? - Yes.
- I can't let you run like this. - Like what?
Like that. It's not healthy. You must catch your breath.
- Oh, come on! - Well? - There. - No.
- There. - No.
Well, run, silly. You'll be late.
"Little boy,
"know that I'm not to be kept waiting."
Here it is.
Here I am.
He's so out of breath.
He ran, lest he be late.
Already he waits for me.
Well, I'll take your jacket.
What will you take from me?
But what must I take from you?
Whatever you like.
A ribbon, a shoe... It's a game.
A shoe.
A ribbon.
Your turn.
I can't decide.
Everything tempts me.
Take everything.
This lodge was built by an ancestor
who took as a lover...
Here's the Count. He tells this story much better.
See you later, child. Don't be late for the dance.
Come in.
I'm listening.
You're listening. Must I sing?
No. Tell me how an ancestor of the Countess took as her lover...
I don't know a thing about it.
Well I know whom I would have wanted as mine.
And that is...?
The most handsome, most charming man from the area.
- The only one worthy of love. - Me.
It's Benjamin.
You love Benjamin?
I fell asleep on the river and woke up to hear you say, "If she resists me,
"I will marry her."
Were you talking about me?
Did you mean if I refused my heart, or my body?
Your body will suffice.
I'm relieved. You understand that giving you my heart is impossible.
While it's easy to give my body.
Are you surprised? I'll explain.
It's not true you love Benjamin.
Of course not. How can I love that doe-eyed half-wit?
So, I'll explain.
No? Fine.
If I don't give myself, you'll want to marry me.
My guardian will force me: I'm a penniless orphan.
I don't want that, I don't love you.
There you have it. My body is yours.
You're getting a bargain. It's new.
Very well.
Get undressed.
I don't know how to undress myself.
You really believe everything you're told?
I have no guardian. And I won't be your mistress.
I was joking.
Then let's joke some more.
Out, or I pierce my throat.
You're a little girl.
How did I get that wrong?
You mustn't go out without your duenna, baby.
Wait, let me call her.
Don't call Berthe.
Don't call Berthe.
I no longer feel like joking.
Too bad.
I knew it. I heard breathing.
Benjamin, your timing is perfect. I need you.
Right now?
Right now.
- Doe have lovely eyes. - True.
- Half-wits have half-wit eyes. - Also true.
- There are no doe-eyed half-wits. - There is one.
- Your nose is 3 inches longer. - What did you say?
I said my little finger told me you were rebuffed, and your nose grew longer.
- It's not used to it. - You mock me, yet you wished my success.
True, but part of me is pleased.
Well, tell your little finger nothing happened as it imagines.
But I don't want to discuss all that.
- That is not like you. - Indeed.
I will not stand your loving her.
- What will you do? - I...
I shall be unhappy.
Forgive me... My tardiness earlier... I so wanted to...
Then I hoped that...
Wicked man. I haven't seen you all day.
- Are you avoiding me? - No, I wasn't looking for you.
Dear Gabrielle, what a successful party.
- I do like you, you know. - No, you told Philippe you didn't.
But remember, earlier I said the contrary.
- You always lie. - Yes, always. But not always.
I made a bet with some friends. Follow the Count.
Then come tell me what happens with him and Mlle de Clécy.
- Well... I need to go to the barn. - You can go later. Go on.
Very well, Aunt.
I like to choose my time.
If you kiss me, I will bite you.
I'm not kissing you yet.
If you bite me, I will whip you.
Why, this time?
Because I like it.
Please don't say anything trite.
Neither something trite nor something original. I don't know what to say.
I'll tell you what you would say were you not ashamed.
"Anne, I love you.
"I, the heartless, faithless libertine, I love you.
"I loved you from the first moment I saw you.
"Be mine. Love me.
"I can no longer bear my fruitless desire for you."
Do you know what I'd say?
"I don't care, Count, that you love me.
"I don't love you. I'm bored. Let's dance."
Good idea.
So, tell me everything.
I don't like to listen to conversations, nor to repeat them.
I don't like it.
I'm listening.
Aunt, you're hurting me.
Fine. Go away.
Do you know Molière's Don Juan?
That wicked man who makes himself loved without ever loving?
We know him.
I've always wanted to meet him.
I told myself I would defeat him. He would love me. I would not love him.
You are mistaken. Don Juan is invincible because he has no heart.
Everyone has a heart. It is needed to live. And to dance.
Let's dance.
Since you seem to have a taste for virgins,
there are two sisters here I would like to show you.
Aline and Pascaline.
You'll find some resistance there too.
They're good girls. That will amuse you.
I don't think so.
Let's go to supper.
Come. Let's go to supper.
Who is who?
- I am Aline. - And she is Pascaline. - I am Pascaline. - And she is Aline.
I'm afraid I didn't catch who is Aline.
I am.
- Then you are Pascaline? - Sometimes.
- I waited. You didn't come to the barn. - I couldn't.
- Let's go now. - It's time to serve supper.
There you have it. I'm ordered about.
I must always do things for others, never for myself.
- I've had enough. - It's the first time I see you angry.
- I'm being angered. - I'll go find you after supper.
Well, where have you been?
I myself do not know. Nowhere and everywhere.
My little Marionette, I'm so unhappy.
Look at them.
You see how the Count looks at that girl?
- Which one? - The one in white.
You mean Anne.
Now see how pale the Countess is.
- Well what's the matter with her? - She will die if the Count leaves her.
He leaves her for other women every day.
You don't understand a thing. If he loves this one,
he will marry her and will love no other.
What is it to you?
You love the Countess that much?
And the Count that much too?
- What business is this of yours? - It's not.
So I'm going.
That girl. You marry her.
But she doesn't love me.
Not at all.
And I'm not planning on marrying this soon.
As for you, I'm not speaking to you.
Lies. I'm relieved to note that you're speaking to me and so have forgiven me.
We shall see after supper.
Not after supper. Tomorrow?
You're in such a foul mood. Sit next to me.
I like to look at you. You look like a plum.
A lovely plum like you should always be gay.
I'm a plum now...
By the way, have I told you, Count, that I find you handsome?
My God, you're bleeding.
It's nothing. These glasses are so delicate.
I must have grabbed it too roughly.
Let's go tend to this in the castle.
Stay with our guests, darling.
Benjamin will take me. Won't you, Benjamin?
I saw you grip that glass so tightly
that it was bound to break.
Not at all. Why would I have done that?
Your little hand...
and this blood...
Forgive me.
I was mean to you earlier.
I can see that you're in pain.
It's just a little boo-boo.
I didn't mean your hand.
Am I so much less beautiful than she?
There isn't here a single woman who is half as beautiful as you.
Not one.
Even now...
I saw you leave, child. Hear me out.
You and the Count are the universal topic.
All noticed the extraordinary interest he has for that person.
Believe me. You must put a stop to that humiliation.
Hello, my lovely.
Child, a woman has infinite means for driving away a rival.
I've done what I could. I will do no more.
- You must at least save face. - Save face?
Take a new lover tonight. You must leave the Count before he leaves you.
So you think he... will leave me?
That's the consensus.
It's the consensus...
So he will leave me.
But I will not save face.
I don't care about face.
You can't imagine how little I care.
Plus I don't want to make his task easier.
I want him to know what he's doing to me,
that I love him,
and that he's leaving me alone.
And now leave me.
I protest and disapprove, but I can see you won't listen.
Goodbye, my lovely.
I kept the Count for 6 years.
It was until now the best we had done.
He would leave
but he would return to me.
There. I've said it.
He will return no more.
What is this?
If I told you,
a tear,
it wound sound pompous and ridiculous.
And yet...
that is what it's called.
Come, Benjamin. Let's go back to the party.
We mustn't miss the fireworks display.
M. Benjamin...
I'm here.
- I'm taking you with me. - But I...
- I saw you go in. Am I disturbing you? - Not at all.
- Which would you rather kiss? - He needs more evidence.
- True, but let's do it lying down. - True.
Join us, handsome sir.
Make up your mind. Whom do you prefer?
Stop the fireworks!
- What happened? - What happened, what happened...
A bucket! Help!
Water! Help!
Let me through!
Well, what happened?
We were in there. And suddenly there were huge flames.
But before they were huge, there must have been small ones.
We didn't see anything before the big flames.
- How did this fire get started? - Well...
Take the horses to the river.
A flare from the fireworks must have landed on the straw.
Interrupting your tender frolics.
Or did the flare wait politely for you to finish.
It didn't wait, alas.
Poor boy.
Well, sir?
When are you getting married?
- To whom do you speak? - To you.
Everyone speaks of your marriage to Mlle.
Everyone but I, Marion.
Do you know, sir, that you almost broke my heart
when I found out you loved Mlle, and were to marry her?
Don't speak nonsense, Marion.
I'm not marrying anyone.
Am I the marrying sort?
With all due respect, sir, I loved you very much.
Indeed, my lovely lady.
I ask you, Mlle, what could a poor servant like me hope for?
Servants have their heart broken, but lovely ladies like you are married.
It must be said and understood.
I wish you much happiness.
What's the point of this distasteful comedy?
I do as you do. In adversity, carry a heavy heart and wear a smile.
You may go.
Accused of a crime, you would have defended yourself less vigorously.
I only spoke the truth.
It isn't true we're marrying. Not in the least.
Why did you mock me?
Why make me think you loved me?
Did you believe that?
You are a resourceful man. I believed it.
And now you believe it no longer.
Would you marry me if I wanted it?
That is not the question.
On the contrary, that is everything.
What are these people doing, out in the open?
They're kissing. They're disoriented.
That fire. It's driving them mad. Everyone knows that fire crazes.
I'm hot. Hold me in your arms.
Hold me in your arms.
Why do you leave on these soiled clothes?
Go change into a clean suit. The party goes on.
You're right. The party goes on.
Come in.
Lock it.
I am going to marry the Count.
You are not surprised?
You don't ask me why?
I do. Why are you marrying him?
Because I love him.
I thought you didn't love him.
The first time I saw him,
I loved him.
But he mustn't know.
If he stops loving me, I'll kill myself.
As long as I make him unhappy, he will love me.
That's the way it is.
Now, come.
I will be your first, yes?
You will be my first.
It will be pure... and beautiful.
Come here.
Take off my dress.
Why are you doing this?
I don't want him to claim the victory of being first.
How he'll suffer...
And how he'll love me.
I don't know... I don't think I want to.
Be quiet.
- We should get up. - Why?
To get undressed.
It would be easier.
- You don't mind that I don't love you? - I'm not thinking about that.
What's this?
Please don't open it!
You must have no secrets from me now.
- Why? - That's how it is.
Read it to me. All of it.
"It was near the end of summer.
"I had just turned 17."
- You wouldn't have found this notebook had I kept it locked up. - Read on.
- "It was near the end of summer..." - Read it with feeling.
Very well.
"It was near the end of summer. I had just turned 17.
"And that day, I was saying goodbye to my childhood home.
"Orphaned at a young age, I had only Camille in this world.
"I had grown up alone with him
"in my ancestors' isolated and dilapidated castle.
"I knew nothing and no one.
"In all matters, I knew only what little Camille had taught me."
He's over there in the park. He's looking for me.
Sir Count,
here I am.
I finished your diary.
I even added what was missing.
Goodbye, Benjamin.
"And one Tuesday
"in early fall,
"I became Anne's lover."
- The end of the diary of a virgin -
Benjamin is a work of pure imagination.
Any resemblance between certain characters presented here
and real persons, living or dead
can only be coincidental.