Meet a Sex Writer and Stalk the Paparazzi: VICE Today 004

Uploaded by vice on 03.05.2012

RYAN DUFFY: Today we hunt the LA paparazzi, learn about sex
from a woman in shoulder pads, and get yet
another etiquette update.
ANNOUNCER: "Vice Today--" biweekly bite-sized doses of
sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

RYAN DUFFY: Hey, I'm Ryan Duffy, and welcome to "Vice
Today." On this episode, we meet another one of our weird
and wonderful neighbors from the internet, sex blogger
Rachel Rabbit White on another episode of My Life Online.
Then we get another round of etiquette updates from the
classiest bearded blowhard we know.
But right now, in the very first "Vice Today" special, we
head out to LA and give the paparazzi a taste of their own
toxic medicine.
This is Pap Smear.
PAPARAZZO: This way, please.
William, guys, please.
This way.
PAPARAZZO: Hey, let's wait 'til he come out.
Down here, please!
STEVE: I think we can all agree that paparazzi are some
of the lowest forms of life on planet Earth.
The ever-growing business of invading public person's
privacy and the seemingly insatiable appetite for such
garbage prove that more than ever people are looking for
glimpses into lives that seem more
interesting than their own.
PAPARAZZO: I love you!
STEVE: When "Vice" asked me if I wanted to write a story
about this profession, I jumped at the opportunity.
I had to know, were they just trying to get by?
I decided to go directly to the source.
Going down Melrose here where we're going to meet the
photographers, [BLEEP].
I don't know his last name.
And it's probably better that way.

After asking various contacts I was put in touch with Peter,
a professional and somewhat jaded paparazzo who agreed to
give me all the pertinent details I would need to
capture my prey in exchange for his anonymity.
What is it?
What is a paparazzi to you?

STEVE: He also said that there are a select few freelance
photographers, such as himself, who adhere to a moral
code of sorts.

STEVE: What did you do before this career as a pap?

STEVE: It sounds kind of like a stripper being asked to be
called a dancer.
You're not really dancing.

STEVE: He also schooled me on the paparazzi circuit and its
respective territories.

STEVE: With this information at my disposal, I was ready to
start my rampage of invasiveness.
Going to post up and try to hunt the hunters.
My photographer and I headed straight for the guitar statue
outside BOA, a popular nightclub on Sunset Boulevard
frequented by celebrities.

STEVE: We see a huge guitar, and there's two shady looking
dudes in beanies.
And they look like the kind of guys that
are willing to fight.
We pulled up two blocks away.
I'm starting to get nervous.
We parked and went over our plan, which basically amounted
to getting in their faces and asking increasingly personal
and judgmental questions.

STEVE: A paparazzi is telling me to not get too
close to the story.
That's funny.
Hey, homie.
How are you?
How are you?
Please tell us, what are you wearing right now?
Who are you wearing?
Who are you wearing?
What does your underwear look like?
Please tell us.
Who are you with?
Do you feel bad when you go home at night
doing this to people?
Do you like a pinkie in the butt during sex?
When you're getting a blow job, do you like one single
pinkie in your butt?
I'm not getting the scoop from you, dude.
We want to know just one question,
sir, just one question.
Do you smell the toilet paper after you wipe, sir?
Do you go number two in the workplace?
Somehow I think in this interview that you think
you're holding on to some last shred of what
you're doing is art.
It's not.
You're taking pictures of celebrities at vulnerable
moments without their permission.
They don't know who you are.
You guys interview other people?
How come I'm not allowed to interview you?

Does this make you feel weird?
If you guys do this for a living, why are you so pissed
off that we're doing it to you?
I'm not in your face.
I just have a quick question.
Why are you hiding?
Why is there so much shame behind what you're doing?
You don't like your own medicine, bro.
You don't like the way it feels to you, then why would
you do that to your fellow man and woman?
You're getting mad at me following you around trying to
get a hot scoop, and that's what you're doing.
That'd be like a butcher who's afraid of eating meat.
Why hide in the bushes at a restaurant for Paris Hilton's
tit to fall out?
If you're such a photographer, why don't you go and shoot
waves at Maui, or why don't you--


STEVE: All right, this is Steve for "Vice" magazine.
I thought we were going to have a
really crazy story here.
I heard stories of Brazilian guys that loved to fight.
Thought we were going to encounter that.
But what we encountered is a bunch of cowards.
Most of these guys are just pussies, and they're not down
to scrap or do anything like that.
So it's kind of fun story.
But it was anti-climatic.
Like, who these guys really are that you see the pictures
on TMZ, they're a bunch of scared guys who--
I'm sitting here solo, kind of like a pussy myself, and they
don't even want to make eye contact.
So they feel bad about what they're doing.
It's kind of like grinding someone to the
ground at this point.
I'm going to just take off.
I feel bad.
Later, guys.
Thanks for playing, man.
Thank you.
Good night.

We wanted to call that Pap Smear?
I had to say "Pap Smear" on camera?
Pap Smear?
Next up, we meet sex blogger Rachel Rabbit White who talks
to us about transsexual stripper parties, clown
fetishists, and how she certainly does not talk to her
mom about her job.
RACHEL RABBIT WHITE: Well, people think that they can
have sex with me a lot.
People think they can have sex with me.
And then people also think I'm a porn star always.
So a lot of times people search--
I see their Google searches.
Rachel Rabbit White porn.
Rachel Rabbit White porn star.
Where is Rachel Rabbit White's porn?
People really think I'm a porn star, and it's very confusing
for them that I'm not.
And I totally understand why they would think that.
Because a lot of the people that are blogging about sex
are in the sex industry.
RACHEL RABBIT WHITE: The name of my blog is my name, which
is Rachel Rabbit White.
So it's
I write about sex and gender and relationships.
And basically you'll see more journalism style posts where
I'm writing about other people's sex lives, kinky,
crazy things.
The second is more memoir-type stuff, and about my own life
and my own relationships.
And the third is advice.
A lot of people ask me questions about
their own sex lives.
So I record videos where I try to help them
and give them advice.
OK, so despite what you may have learned in sex ed in
fifth grade from your school nurse, I say that you should
take sex advice from a woman wearing pastels
and shoulder pads.
I think a lot of guys feel the way that Grant and
possibly you feel.
They just want to suck [BLEEP].
And why wouldn't they?
Sucking [BLEEP]
is amazing.
OK, can you see me?
So I recently had a reader write in and ask me for tips
on taking sexy pictures.
Great thing about this shot is that if you're doing it
actually naked and really Craigslist style, it makes
your tits look great no matter what.
So if you don't have any boobs, kind of like me, it
makes you look like all the sudden that you do.
I started the blog working as an intake person
at a donation clinic.
And I knew I wanted to be a writer.
And I knew I wanted to be writing, and I wasn't.
So I started the blog to force myself to write.
This might be interesting.
These are the slutty journals from when I was 21, before I
was seriously writing.
I lived a pretty textured existence.
And then I think part of the reason for starting the blog
was working through my past.
And part of the reason I was writing about sex is because I
used to have a lot of sex and was having
all these crazy stories.
And I'm wondering about what happens when you don't love
somebody anymore and where does the love go.
Very overly dramatic stuff that you would
write when you're 20.
But it's fun to have this stuff.
And it's fun to go back and use it as writing fodder and
to remember where my mind actually was when I'm writing
about me, sort of a character at 20.
And I think why I write about sex and relationships is
because, for a lot of young people, that's sort of the
biggest thing that's happened in your life.
For a lot of young people, their biggest story is really
that they lost their virginity or that they
were broken up with.
When you're in your 20s, I think these are the things
that you're really grappling with.
And also, just to sort of educate myself.
I am genuinely interested in what other people are doing
and understanding what makes other people tick sexually.
So when I'm writing about someone else's sex life, like
maybe they like to have clown sex, I really
don't understand it.
And I want to go out and understand it and bring it
back to the readers like, here's what I found.
If I weren't doing stories on these things I would never be
exposed to this world.
And that's when I feel the most alive, is when I'm out
getting stories and exposing myself to this sort of thing
and running around the city.
So I covered an all-transsexual strip party in
New York City.
So I'm just going to read you a few of my notes.
The women are in Moulin Rouge-inspired lingerie,
glitter and garter belts, dancing and stripping for a
crowd of men.
The men are of all ages, and slink and hide in the corners
in between approaching the women as they dance.
I'm introduced to-- and I don't have her name here.
I'm going to have to look it up.
She's been throwing trans parties for a long time.
She says those parties are completely different.
First of all, this is a posh club, she says.
There's also more focus on costumes.
And they actually dance.
So while there's a drag queen working the door, the place is
not so much for a queer audience.
The gays don't come.
But even if they did, it might not work with what the
promoter is looking for.
He tells me that the guys that come here don't want to see
two men kissing at this party, that this isn't what they're
looking for.
And this would scare them and cause them to leave.
And then that's as far as I got.
I'm not sure what the fetish is.
I mean, definitely they want a penis.
And these guys definitely, like the guy said, they didn't
want gay men there.
They didn't want to be reminded of the gay community.
They were almost anti that.
It's tough, because I don't think there's a very good
history of people reporting within these sort of
marginalized sex communities.
So it's this line I'm constantly walking where I
admit if someone asks me if I'm a writer.
And if they ask if I'm going to write
about this, I say yes.
But I try not to be so snarky.
I really want to learn why they're doing
what they're doing.
But I'm also honest in my descriptions of them.
I don't shy away from the ugly.
RYAN DUFFY: The combination of the internet and sex, making
you feel worse about humanity day by day.
Finally, we get another selection of bits and bites on
how to be a well-mannered adult in the 21st century.
This is Etiquette Update with John Martin.
JOHN MARTIN: Multi-colored socks, men's
basketball, being bald--
not classy.
When you're in the bathroom, don't leave
magazines on the toilet.
Don't leave matches on top of the toilet.
Breakfast burritos, adults watching cartoons,
snowboarding, 14-year-olds on birth control, white socks,
Velcro shoes, hats on backwards, insulting your
girlfriend at brunch--
not classy.
Number one, don't go to brunch.
Number two, don't go to brunch with your girlfriend.
Brunch is for drinking.
RYAN DUFFY: Hope you enjoyed another episode of "Vice
Today." If you like the channel, please subscribe.
And keep an eye out for new episodes
every Monday and Thursday.