Technology Mash Ups | Richard Hammond's Tech Head


Uploaded by hammondtechhead on 21.03.2011

Transcript:
Hiya.
Almost all hybrid gadgets are rubbish...
except the Swiss Army Knife and the spork.
Sporks are amazing. I love sporks.
Unfortunately, for every Swiss Army Knife,
there's a 'Tefal Toast N' Egg'.
"What's a Tefal Toast N' Egg?" I don't hear you ask
because this was filmed in the past and it isn't an interactive video, anyway.
Well, it's a toaster with a mini pan to boil an egg in!
Sounds awful. And it is!
I've got a saucepan for eggs at home. How can this be any easier?
You still crack an egg into it, you still scrape the thing out afterwards
and I'll bet you my spork that a saucepan is easier to clean than this freakish device.
Although I guess it does add a certain piquancy to proceedings
if you happen to miss the pan and dribble egg white onto the live heating elements.
In summary, I would highly recommend this machine to people who
don't have a stove, any cooking ability, taste-buds or brain cells.
Then there's the Bugatti Vera Kettle with display screen.
"Bugatti? Don't they make fast cars?" I didn't hear you ask again.
Well yes and, as it turns out, Kettles.
Now, kettles probably would make it onto
my all-time top-twenty 'Best Things That Heat Up Water' list...
just behind immersion heaters and those hot rock things they have in saunas.
But not this LCD-display-packing kitchen Frankenstein.
I mean, alright, it's sexy (if you find the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica sexy...
and I do... did I just say that out loud?)
It's sexy but it costs nearly two hundred quid
or, if you're watching this in America, three million bucks - which is a no-no for starters.
All kettles should cost between £5 and £5.88;
any more than that and it had better do a lot more than boil water.
The Vera doesn't disappoint in that department:
it has a clock on it, which is great
if you love resetting things in your kitchen after a power-cut.
It's also apparently got a timer.
Idiots! We boil the kettle for something to do!
We don't want it boiled waiting for us.
Standing miserably alone in the kitchen while it boils is part of the fun!
Enough of the kettles already. Here's the LG internet-enabled fridge.
"What do you mean, internet-enabled fridge?" I hear myself imagining you asking yet again...
Anyway I'm not really sure what it means.
Maybe I can send emails to my cheese or "poke" my yogurt on Facebook.
Sounds amazing! Can't wait to get my hands on one.
Oh, no, wait - they discontinued the line because they're useless.
Let's gloss over the useless fridge and stare instead at the Philips Ambilight TV.
Philips have been making TVs for years and they're pretty good at it by now.
And frankly it's not for me to criticise
I wouldn't have a clue where to start with making a television.
But surely you know you've gone too far when you start sticking a light on the back of it?
It's a TV, not a torch.
You use it to watch Jeremy Kyle, not to find your way through a haunted graveyard.
Why would you want a light shining out the back of the TV
when you're trying to watch Ice Road Truckers on the front of it?
It's like making a radio that constantly emits an annoying whistle as it plays the hits of the 80s.
So whoever's sticking these gadgets together, can you please stop it?
Apart from you Eric Spork, you just keep doing what you're doing.
Bye.