The Guild - Season 2 Recap


Uploaded by geekandsundry on Sep 14, 2012

Transcript:

NARRATOR: In season one, the Guild met face to face.
It was awkward.
Then Zaboo's mom showed up, and they worked together to
save him from her evil clutches.
It worked, but Codex is still stuck with him.
Season two starts with a dungeon run where the Guild
finds the Orb of Nur.
Clara and Tink both want it.
While Vork takes bids, Clara's husband looses the hounds, and
Zaboo seduces Codex with technology.
CODEX: A T1.
That's so fast.
NARRATOR: Tink wins the orb.
Clara freaks out.
Zaboo gets Smurf balls.
Codex tell him he's not sexy, so he vows to earn her love by
living on the streets like a hobo.
Codex feels bad, and arranges for him to live with Vork.
She celebrates by getting naked.
CODEX: 17 seconds.
Personal best.
NARRATOR: Codex takes Zaboo to Vork's creepy house, where
he'll pay rent in game gold, and sleep under a pigeon cage.
VORK: Not pigeons.
Squab.
NARRATOR: Back at home, Codex runs into her neighbor.
Literally.
Turns out it's OK.
He's a professional stunt man, and a hottie.
Codex is smitten.
The girls egg her on.
Clara's family leaves town for her sister's wedding.
Bladezz offers his services to Tink in hopes of a
real life hook up.
Clara uses an alt character to seek revenge on Vork, and
kills him in the middle of the guild hall.
VORK: What the?
Aw, would you--
Aw!
NARRATOR: Zaboo buffs up, Tink uses Bladezz, and Vork gets
killed again.
VORK: Dammit!
NARRATOR: Codex tries to play it cool with the stunt guy,
but his zombie make up makes her want to puke.
So she does.
On him.
CODEX: I want to die right now.
NARRATOR: Clara parties down, and Codex gets tarted up.
Bladezz recruits his sister to help him do Tink's bidding.
DENA: Use the stencil.
Do it!
NARRATOR: Zaboo reprograms Vork's hot keys and sends Vork
over the edge.
He goes to Codex for help while she's flirting
with the stunt guy.
VORK: This man bothering you?
NARRATOR: Codex tries to mend things between Zaboo and Vork
with the help of her therapist, who's literally
phoning it in.
The server goes down, and Vork skedaddles to orchestrate his
GEMA strategy.
CODEX: Stands for Guild Emergency Management Agency.
I'm serious.
NARRATOR: Vork calls the guild meeting to order.
Tink berates Bladezz because he's ignorant about lady
things, then berates Vork because she can.
TINK: Without the game, there's no guild.
With no guild, you have no power.
NARRATOR: Zaboo invites Bladezz to Vork's house for
some male bonding.
Clara's husband calls her from the winning.
Thanks to her, the groom punched him in the face.
She communicates her concerns.
Codex attempts a booty call, only to be intercepted by a
bigger, hotter booty.
RILEY: Oh, we don't need any.
Thanks.
NARRATOR: Clara talks Codex into hosting a girls' night to
take her mind off the stunt guy, then invites several
hundred people to attend.
At boys' night, Bladezz is bored by Vork's slide show
about gaming strategy, so he sabotages the internet
connection.
[SHOUTING]
NARRATOR: Codex starts to enjoy yourself until the stunt
guy crashes the party.
CODEX: And he's with the stupid tall hot girl.
NARRATOR: Forced offline, the boys play stud poker.
Codex meets the stupid tall hot girl.
Turns out she and the stunt guy are just roommates, but
she's still kind of a biatch.
At poker night, Vork cleans up and Bladezz comes clean.
BLADEZZ: I maxed out all of my mom's credit cards buying
stupid crap for Tink.
NARRATOR: Zaboo reads Clara's text about hooking Codex up.
The guys head to the party.
Tink and Clara head for the stunt guy.
Codex is humiliated.
Tink is best.
Clara is enamored.
CLARA: Have you ever touched Chuck Norris?
NARRATOR: Codex finds solace in her webcam, and the stunt
guy's lips.
Zaboo doesn't like watching.
Tink tells Bladezz she owned him, and Zaboo has second
thoughts about challenging the stunt guy to a fight.
ZABOO: Oh, so those are abs.
CLARA: Yeah, they are.
NARRATOR: Zaboo fights the stunt guy poorly.
Clara cops to being Vork's in game stalker.
Zaboo takes a beating.
Bladezz takes Tink's laptop.
Vork takes a shower.
The stunt guy calls off the fight.
WADE: It's really not worth it.
NARRATOR: Codex breaks it off with Zaboo.
Zaboo's heart is broken.
Vork's is spirited crushed, and Tink's ranger is missing,
thanks to Bladezz.
TINK: It's gone.
He deleted my character!
NARRATOR: Clara gets the hook up, and Codex
gets the last word.
CODEX: I am so glad I didn't drop my loot for you.
NARRATOR: Or so she thinks.
Then she sees Zaboo making out with the stupid tall hot girl.
She freaks out, leaves her body, and runs into the night.