Stalking the Paparazzi

Uploaded by vice on May 3, 2012


William, guys, please.
This way.
MALE SPEAKER: This way after he come out.
PAPARAZZO: Emma, Emma.
PAPARAZZO: Down here, please.
PAPARAZZO: Down here!
PAPARAZZO: Get your bag!

STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: I think we can all agree that
paparazzi are some of the lowest forms of
life on planet Earth.
The ever-growing business of invading public persons'
privacy and the seemingly insatiable appetite for such
garbage prove that more than ever, people are looking for
glimpses into lives that seem more
interesting than their own.
PAPARAZZO: I love you!

STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: When Vice asked me if I wanted
to write a story about this profession, I jumped at the
I had to know.
Were they just trying to get by?
I decided to go directly to the source.
STEVEN RANDOLPH: Going down Melrose here, where we're
going to meet the photographer, [BLEEP].
I don't know his last name, and it's probably better that
way, you know?
STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: After asking various contacts,
I was put in touch with Peter, a professional and somewhat
jaded paparazzo, who agreed to give me all the pertinent
details I would need to capture my prey in exchange
for his anonymity.
What is it?
Like I--
I don't know, like what is a paparazzi.

STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: He also said that there are a
select few freelance photographers, such as
himself, who adhere to a moral code of sorts.

STEVEN RANDOLPH: What did you do before this?
Before this career as a pap?

STEVEN RANDOLPH: It sounds kind of like a stripper being
asked to be called a dancer.
You're not really dancing.

STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: He also schooled me on the
paparazzi circuit and its respective territories.

STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: With this information at my
disposal, I was ready to start my rampage of invasiveness.
STEVEN RANDOLPH: Gonna post up and try to hunt the hunters.
STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: My photographer and I headed
straight for the guitar statue outside BOA, a popular
nightclub on Sunset Boulevard frequented by celebrities.

STEVEN RANDOLPH: We see a huge guitar, and there's two
shady-looking dudes in beanies, and they look like
the kind of guys that are willing to fight.
We pulled up two blocks away.
I'm starting to get nervous.
STEVEN RANDOLPH NARRATING: We parked and went over our plan,
which basically amounted to getting in their faces and
asking increasingly personal and judgmental questions.

STEVEN RANDOLPH: A paparazzi is telling me to not get too
close to the story.
That's funny.
Hey, homey.
How are you?
How are you?
Please tell us, what are you wearing right now?
Who are you wearing?
Who are you wearing?
What does your underwear look like?
Please tell us.
Who are you with?
Do you feel bad when you go home at night,
doing this to people?
Do you like a pinky in the butt during sex?
Sir, sir, sir!
When you're getting a blowjob, do you like one single pinky
in your butt?
I'm not getting the scoop from you, dude.
We want to know, just one question,
sir, just one question.
Do you smell the toilet paper after you wipe, sir?
Do you go number-two in the workplace?
Somehow I think in this interview that you think
you're holding on to some last shred of like, what you're
doing is art.
It's not.
You're taking picture of celebrities at vulnerable
moments without their permission.
They don't know who you are.
You guys interview other people.
How come I'm not allowed to interview you?

Does this make you feel weird?
Why-- if you guys do this for a living, why are you so
pissed off that we're doing it to you?
STEVEN RANDOLPH: I'm not in your face.
I just have a quick question.
Why are you hiding?
Why is there so much shame behind what you're doing?
You don't like, you don't like your own medicine, bro.
You don't like the way it feels to you, then why would--
why would you do that to your fellow man and woman?
You're getting mad at me following you around, trying
to get a hot scoop.
And that's what you're doing.
That'd be like a butcher who's afraid of eating meat.
Why hide in bushes at a restaurant for Paris Hilton's
tit to fall out?
If you're such a photographer, why don't-- why don't you go
and, and shoot waves at Maui, or--?

STEVEN RANDOLPH: All right, this is
Steve for Vice Magazine.
I thought we were going to have a
really crazy story here.
I heard stories of, like, Brazilian guys
that love to fight.
Thought we were going to encounter that.
But what we encountered is a bunch of cowards.
Most of these guys are just pussies, and they're not down
to scrap or do anything like that.
So, um, it was kind of a fun story, but it was
Like who these guys really are, that you see the pictures
like on TMZ, they're a bunch of scared guys who--
I'm sitting here solo, kind of like a pussy myself, and they
don't even want to make eye contact.
So they feel bad about what they're doing, and it's kind
of like grinding someone into the ground at this point.
I'm gonna just take off.
I feel bad.
Later guys.
Thanks for playing, man.
Thank you.
Good night.