You Suck At Photoshop's Biggest Fan


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 12.12.2008

Transcript:

For the last five years, I have been watching, ingesting,
becoming each and every one of the latest
and hottest web series.
I speak fluent LOLCats.
I have a tattoo of the Homestar
Runner above my heart.
And I have an exact replica of Jessica Lee Rose's head, which
I have made from my own hair and nail
clippings, and some skin.
Lately, I have turned my enthusiasms
to You Suck at Photoshop.
Many of their 17 million views have been from me.
OK, most.
I bought my own Ricky van.
I submitted 3,500 Ronnie pictures, which were rejected,
because of a misunderstanding about the difference between
being Photoshopped images of a sperm and Polaroids with
actual sperm on them.
And I started a fan blog called You Suck at You Suck at
Photoshop, which berates its seven subscribers for not
loving Donnie Hoyle enough to help me find and
disinter his remains.
I've poured my heart and soul and semen into this series,
but now it's over.
So I am now currently accepting applications for a
new web series worthy of my unique affection.

Potential applicants can rest assured that I will commit
fully to your series.
I'll leave at least 30 LOL, LMAO, and JIAIGUYG comments
per webisode.
I'll tweet about you nightly to my parole officer.
And the best part is I'll find your phone number, no matter
how unlisted it is, and I'll give you a call every hour
with feedback and ideas for future webisodes.
And if you don't get back to me right away, well, I also
have your address.
So submit your web series ideas to
Rance@RancesWebsession.com.

I do so hope I can meet some of the applicants and perhaps
the winner in the flesh at this year's Webby awards.
And by at I mean outside the building and at least 500
yards from the awards venue.
But by flesh, I mean flesh.
[CREEPY MUSIC PLAYING]