WINTERLICIOUS w/ Arden Myrin LIVE - 12/5/12

Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 05.12.2012


BETH HOYT: Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you--
this one.
BETH HOYT: Hello everyone, I'm Beth Hoyt.
You're watching "My Damn Channel Live," and it's the
holiday season.
Seriously, try to think about anything else.
OK, it's possible, actually.
What did you think about?
I was thinking about "Homeland," which is not very
cozy, but this show will be.
Our guest today is adorable and hilarious actress and
comedian Arden Myrin.
We'll be doing the "Winterlicious" tag together,
and maybe later we'll shove marshmallows in our mouths
like classy ladies.
By maybe, I mean for sure.
Get your questions in now for Arden, and later there will be
time for just you and me, of course.
I want to know, like, what you celebrate and if you have
weird or amazing traditions.
Get in the chat.
Stay in the chat.
Guys, winter is coming, and so is an awesome show.
First up, it's a brand new "Jon Friedman Internet
JON FRIEDMAN: Forrest, meet DeForest.

JET: Bitches, you know where you are right now.
STAR: You're on "My Damn
Channel Live." JET: Bam!
STAR: And we're the Wing girls.
JET: Yeah, we are.
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that.
But I did this.
Does this make sense?
STAR: What's that?
JET: No, I don't know.

BETH HOYT: Hello, I've got right here a very funny lady.
You've seen her on MADtv, "Chelsea Lately," the movie
"Bachelorette," "Wrong," which comes out in January, and
"Take Me Home" on the YouTube channel "Spaces." The list
really goes on and on.
But let's get to it.
Come on down Arden Myrin!
BETH HOYT: Hey Arden.
ARDEN MYRIN: Hey Beth, how are you?
BETH HOYT: Thanks for being here.
I'm great.
ARDEN MYRIN: Look at our height difference.
But I like it.
I feel like we're like superheroes--
little blonde superheroes.
BETH HOYT: We're showing-- yeah, we're showing the
different types of ladies available.
For the holiday season.
You can have this one or that one, or both.
BETH HOYT: Oh, wait, that's what I get?
That one?
ARDEN MYRIN: This one-- well, this one.
This one.
BETH HOYT: You can have this one or that one?
Yeah thanks, I'll be that one.
ARDEN MYRIN: Hi, everybody.
OK, right now I have to do something very important.
It's a list.
ARDEN MYRIN: I like lists.
BETH HOYT: It's a holiday list.
I like them, too.
It's a holiday list of our favorite things.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh, I like that.
It's like a game, and holidays, which I love.
BETH HOYT: And we get to talk about our favorite things.
ARDEN MYRIN: I love it.
BETH HOYT: OK, we're going to be doing the "Winterlicious"
tag created by Macbarbie07.
Daily Grace did the list on her blog last week.
Now it's our turn.
It's also our chance to, like, dive into who
you are right away.
ARDEN MYRIN: I love it.
I feel like we're soul sisters.
I feel like there's a connection.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, but I'm the big one.
ARDEN MYRIN: No, you're the awesome one.
No, you're awesome.
ARDEN MYRIN: But you're the one that can fly.
BETH HOYT: That's true!
BETH HOYT: OK, are you ready to get all winterlicious?
ARDEN MYRIN: Yes, are you?
BETH HOYT: Let's do it.
ARDEN MYRIN: Let's make lists!
BETH HOYT: So I'm excited.
I'm super excited.
BETH HOYT: We've established that we're excited.
And we love lists.
And we both love the holidays.
ARDEN MYRIN: I am like a Christmas freak.
I mean, it's not--
I mean, I get so excited that I would put up a Christmas
tree, like, September 7, if I could.
I get so excited when the commercials start.
ARDEN MYRIN: The windows, the lights, the
ornaments, the presents!
BETH HOYT: But the commercials aren't as good as they were.
Remember how-- how awesome they used to be?
BETH HOYT: I think it's because we--
I was a kid, and like--
ARDEN MYRIN: The magic--
you know, when Santa was coming!
BETH HOYT: OK, let's get into it.
ARDEN MYRIN: Yeah, let's do it.
BETH HOYT: Number one--
favorite winter nail polish?
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, I definitely got the oxblood memo, and I am
rocking chick-flick cherry this year, which is a switch
up from my normal Russian roulette.
BETH HOYT: Wow, this is very specific.
I just go with typical red and green.
I happen to really love Essie.
BETH HOYT: And I do love this color, which is geranium.
And I like to just alternate colors like I
did here, kind of.
ARDEN MYRIN: Mhm, mhm.
Number two--
BETH HOYT: Favorite winter lip product?
ARDEN MYRIN: I'm going to go to-- mm.
I'm going to go for--
I like to treat it like a game show.
I like rosebud lip balm in the tin.
BETH HOYT: Oh, yeah, I like that, too.
Except I think about riding the subway.
And like, there's got to be one time that I've touched the
pole and then put my finger in there.
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, OK, you're right.
OK, I'm going to backtrack, then.
I'm going to take it back around.
I have a new favorite, hot pink lip tar.
Lip tar.
BETH HOYT: Is that what you're wearing right now?
ARDEN MYRIN: That's what I'm wearing right now.
And it's not going to come off.
And it's made by
Obsessive-Compulsive Cosmetics.
So we have something in common, that company and I.
BETH HOYT: I do love that.
It hasn't worn at all since you've been here.
I've made out with so many people.
You'd think it would be gone by now.
BETH HOYT: Um, my favorite thing is this chapstick I
stole from my mom that she got at a gas station in Lake
Tahoe, apparently.
It's like a--
ARDEN MYRIN: Heavenly.
BETH HOYT: Heavenly.
It's like a cheap Burt's Bees Wax.
But I tell you what, it is heavenly.
ARDEN MYRIN: You know what, and they not-- they're not all
of them are.
BETH HOYT: I know.
It's hard to find--
ARDEN MYRIN: Some of them get waxy like a candle.
BETH HOYT: Or they wear off right away.
BETH HOYT: Number three-- most worn winter clothing piece?
ARDEN MYRIN: I love a snood.
BETH HOYT: Which is the scarf that has the--
ARDEN MYRIN: I like, like, a-- like, I like--
I want to basically look like Nanook of the North from like
November to March.
So I like, like, a hood with like a pom-pom scarf.
I like a scarf-hood-snood combo.
BETH HOYT: That's funny, because that's like what mine
is, kind of.
Mine is this scarf, which is really great, because it can
be-- you can wear it like this if you get hot when you're
running errands.
Or you can go like this and it is like you're being hugged by
a bear in the best way.
ARDEN MYRIN: Can I show you how you can make it a snood?
BETH HOYT: Please.
I want nothing more.
ARDEN MYRIN: Because these are popular right now.
So you could just--
BETH HOYT: Topshop.
See, right-- so there's this.
There's this effect, and then you're Nanook of the North.
BETH HOYT: Oh, you're doing it.
ARDEN MYRIN: It's just me, you guys.
Don't be afraid.
It's just me.
I'm not going to kill you.
BETH HOYT: Oh, there she is.
Oh gosh.
ARDEN MYRIN: Ooh, this is nice.
BETH HOYT: I know.
ARDEN MYRIN: I'm going to wear it.
BETH HOYT: Number four--
most worn winter accessory.
BETH HOYT: I think we just kind of did it.
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, we just did it.
So maybe I need to backtrack on my other outfit thing.
I'm going to go for--
I enjoy, um, for the outfit-- so I guess
snood would be accessory.
Outfit, I'm going to go, uh, corduroy A-line miniskirt and
tights with little booties.
BETH HOYT: Colored tights?
ARDEN MYRIN: I like colored tights, and I like a
razzle-dazzle bootie.
BETH HOYT: I like that.
I like that--
I like the wearing the colored tights as well.
I like textured tights.
ARDEN MYRIN: Ooh, I like a navy tight.
BETH HOYT: I'm just copying you,
because I love your ideas.
I like where you're going with this.
I think we--
we are soul sisters with the snood thing.
ARDEN MYRIN: What's your favorite-- what's your outfit
that's not the accessory?
You like the tights-- you like textured tights--
textured tights.
Uh, number five--
favorite winter scent or candle?
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, I like, um, red currant candle--
like red currant scent.
BETH HOYT: Like, berry?
Like, it's like cranberry?
ARDEN MYRIN: No, no, no, it's more like a--
like a mulled, like--
ooh, somebody's making my holiday nog.
And I'm going to make out under the mistletoe.
BETH HOYT: That sounds delicious.
I have to get one of those.
ARDEN MYRIN: Mhm, it's nice.
It's real nice.
BETH HOYT: I like just like the Christmas tree scent,
because usually we don't have like a good smelling Christmas
tree in my house-- my apartment.
So I'll just settle for the candle.
ARDEN MYRIN: Like a pine-- like a nice pine.
BETH HOYT: Number six--
favorite winter beverage?
ARDEN MYRIN: Hot toddy.
BETH HOYT: Sisters!
This is my favorite.
As you can see, I've kind of tapped into it a little bit.
And it's so good when you have a sore throat, and
you have a hot toddy.
And you're like, this is good for me.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god, so good.
I want-- also, side note.
I love a machine-made hot chocolate with whipped cream.
I love it like at the ski slope.
BETH HOYT: Like a 7-11?
ARDEN MYRIN: Like the ski slope or 7-11 where you push
the button, and it's like--
ARDEN MYRIN: And it whips it up.
And then you get, like, whipped cream or fluff on top.
BETH HOYT: Wait, where did you grow up?
ARDEN MYRIN: Rhode Island, but we went to Vermont every year.
BETH HOYT: I was going to say-- you can tell, I was
like, ooh, like at a 7-11.
And you're like at the ski slope.
ARDEN MYRIN: Yeah, at the ski slope!
Where'd you grow up?
BETH HOYT: Wisconsin.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, 7-11.
OK, number seven--
all time favorite Christmas or holiday movie?
ARDEN MYRIN: Got to be "Christmas Story." You'll
shoot your eye out.
BETH HOYT: It is good.
ARDEN MYRIN: What's yours?
BETH HOYT: It doesn't have to be that, though.
I-- you could re-phrase that.
ARDEN MYRIN: What's yours?
BETH HOYT: Um, are you going to see that on Broadway?
Are you--do you have any desire to see that?
ARDEN MYRIN: Um, yeah, I have the desire.
I'm seeing "Annie" this Saturday night-- going to
start with that-- going to start with that!
BETH HOYT: My favorite movie of all time is "Home Alone."
so I think I get to pick a new one for the holiday movies.
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, OK, yup, yup.
BETH HOYT: And it's, um, it's "National Lampoon's Christmas
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god.
I support that wholeheartedly.
BETH HOYT: Oh, good.
ARDEN MYRIN: I support that.
I love it.
I love it-- getting to know you.
And I think you picked a really good scarf.
I just want to say, like, looking--
and like, ooh, razzle!
number eight-- favorite Christmas holiday song?
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, I like the ones that's like--
I like the intensity.
I love the panic.
I'm like are they going to make it?
BETH HOYT: And the harmonies-- if you find someone who can
just randomly slip in that--
ARDEN MYRIN: And like the
ARDEN MYRIN: I like that.
And I like Mariah Carey-- what you were singing up top-- "All
I Want For Christmas."
BETH HOYT: Did you see her do it with Jimmy Fallon?
BETH HOYT: You have to watch it.
ARDEN MYRIN: Nailed it?
BETH HOYT: You just have to watch it.
So good.
So good.
ARDEN MYRIN: What's yours?
BETH HOYT: I like that song.
And I really like a really good "Oh Holy Night." Someone
can really--
I like-- it gives me goosebumps.
If someone can really belt that out, I get--
I just wish I could belt so much that I love the song.
ARDEN MYRIN: That's nice.
I like that.
BETH HOYT: Number nine-- favorite
holiday food or treat?
ARDEN MYRIN: Mm, I like those weird little white, like, um,
gingerbread cookies--
those like German gingerbread cookies?
BETH HOYT: So many that I don't--
ARDEN MYRIN: What is the word of those?
BETH HOYT: The Snufferpluffus?
ARDEN MYRIN: Yeah, it's like the Furshanofernosh--
BETH HOYT: That's exactly it.
ARDEN MYRIN: Because you're like, what
is this food product?
What year was this made?
Is it like 20 years old?
They have them at, like, Trader Joe's.
BETH HOYT: Yes, it is the Schnuffenhafenhafen.
ARDEN MYRIN: And you're like, what is it?
It was like-- and I shouldn't want to eat it.
I feel like it was made like 35 years ago.
But they're delicious!
I also like--
I also like the gingerbread house,
because they're beautiful.
BETH HOYT: Mhm, and they are fun to make, and
they smell so good.
ARDEN MYRIN: What do you like?
BETH HOYT: My mom makes these cookies called melting moments
that are like, just more butter than you've ever seen
in a cookie recipe.
And they melt in your mouth.
But you're like, it's Christmas-y.
It's also a--
a heart attack in a cookie.
ARDEN MYRIN: I love butter.
I hate heart attacks, but I love fun.
BETH HOYT: Number 10-- what is your favorite Christmas
decoration this year?
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh, this year.
God, that's hard to pick-- hard to pick!
I'm going to be honest.
I'm not a natural girl.
I mean, I enjoy looking on Etsy.
And I'm like, look at what everybody made.
But it's like, give me some razzle-dazzle.
Give me some glitz and glamour.
I like some glitter and glamour--
basically anything that's covered and
dunked in silver glitter.
How about you?
BETH HOYT: Do you like that on your apartment, though?
Don't you find that glitter--
once it's in there, it's just-- it's there forever?
ARDEN MYRIN: My floor is pretty just covered in glitter
at all times, and even more so at this time of the year.
BETH HOYT: And then like on your gentleman friend's face
who's just always like, oh, it's glitter, and it's my
fault, but you're covered in glitter.
ARDEN MYRIN: But you know what?
I shouldn't date a male stripper like I do, and that's
why they're all covered in glitter.
BETH HOYT: I try to tell you again and again.
What's your favorite even decoration this year?
BETH HOYT: I just bought on Amazon these, like, old
fashioned bulbs--
big white ones.
I haven't taken them out of the box yet.
But I imagine that once I get the gumption to do that,
they're going to be my favorite.
ARDEN MYRIN: I just got my first tree.
He's this big.
He was the only one left, and he told me his name was Steve.
BETH HOYT: That's such a average Joe of a tree name.
BETH HOYT: I like that, though.
ARDEN MYRIN: I know, he was not the best tree.
That's why he was left.
BETH HOYT: You don't want some too-exotic-named
tree in your apartment.
ARDEN MYRIN: No, he'd be like, I'm Febrizio.
No you're not.
You're Steve.
what's at the top of your Christmas list?
ARDEN MYRIN: I want to become a wizard.
I'm not kidding.
I know it's crazy.
I want to wake up December 25 and look like Merlin or like
Gandalf, the Gnome Warrior.
Is that something you can make happen?
BETH HOYT: I will do my best.
We have, like, a month.
ARDEN MYRIN: What do you want?
BETH HOYT: I was going to say striped shirts.
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, about the same-- about the same.
BETH HOYT: Me too, but-- yeah, I didn't
realize I could be thinking--
I've got to re-think--
ARDEN MYRIN: Think outside the box.
Or I would take like a huge gift certificate to Sephora.
Either it would be a wizard or a Sephora gift certificate.
BETH HOYT: Right, you can't ever go wrong with that.
ARDEN MYRIN: It's hard to-- one or the other.
They're win-win.
They're win-win.
BETH HOYT: Number 12--
what are your plans for the holidays this year?
ARDEN MYRIN: If I become a wizard, I'm going to fly up
and down the Eastern Seaboard just spreading my good cheer
to children all up and down the Eastern Seaboard.
Um, you know what, I'd like to get some sledding in, too.
That's what I'm hoping--
that I have some sledding in my future.
BETH HOYT: Do you go up to Vermont, or do you go home?
ARDEN MYRIN: I like to go up to Vermont and just get--
I really love like, a dangerous sled ride where you
might hurt yourself.
BETH HOYT: I'm afraid--
I'm afraid of speed and thrills in general, but I do
like sledding.
ARDEN MYRIN: Sledding's fun.
BETH HOYT: But also, I turn yellow when I get cold.
Sledding is not a good situation.
We used to have a ton of snow days when
I grew up in Wisconsin.
And we'd get dropped off to sled, and it'd be like the
worst day of my life, because I would get numb.
So I don't love sledding, but I kind of do.
And it sounds-- you make it sound so fun and cosy.
ARDEN MYRIN: It's so fun.
It's so fun.
I'll make you a hot toddy.
BETH HOYT: I will do it after some hot toddies.
ARDEN MYRIN: It's fun!
BETH HOYT: OK, well my plans are--
I don't--
just, I'm going to go home to Wisconsin, and if it's snowing
I'm going to take you up on that.
And I'm going to go sledding with you in mind.
ARDEN MYRIN: I'll be there.
When we come back, we're taking your questions.
So you should put them in the chat right now.
And that was really fun.
ARDEN MYRIN: Super fun.
BETH HOYT: We'll see you in a sec.

JERRY: Darling, did you know we're live right now?
It's fantastic, Jerry.
JERRY: You know what else is fantastic?
I had the boys in the back rig up this virtual censor bar I
can throw across your mouth if you want to start swearing.
What's your favorite cuss word?
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Well, fu--
JERRY: I'm so sorry.
I'm terribly sorry.
BELLA THORNE: Hey, what's up?
I'm Bella Thorne, and you're watching "My [SINGING]
Channel Live."
BETH HOYT: Hello guys, I'm here with Arden Myrin--
comedian and actress--
and we're taking all your questions from the chat.
Get them in now.
But first I want to talk to you about this new
show that you host.
BETH HOYT: Hilariously, it's called "Take Me Home." It's on
the YouTube channel "Spaces." I'm addicted to the show.
BETH HOYT: Can you tell our audience what it's about?
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, it is basically--
I am obsessed with interior design.
I am an incredibly nosy person, and I basically got
people on the street in New York City to see if they would
take me home and give me an impromptu tour of their
BETH HOYT: Awesome.
We have a promo for the show.
Let's take a look at "Take Me Home."
ARDEN MYRIN: What's up, Spaces?
It's Arden Myrin.
I'm here in New York City.
I am here in Bushwick, Brooklyn-- the East Village--
Upper West Side of Manhattan-- and I'm going to see if one of
these people will take me home.
Check it out!
Would you guys like to take me home?
I just got a flat-out no.
Would you take me home?
MALE SPEAKER 1: Hell, no.
MALE SPEAKER 2: I'm gay.
ARDEN MYRIN: I don't care.
Hello, would you take a blonde girl home with you?
We won't tell your wife.
ANGEL IDEALISM: I'm Angel Idealism.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god, you are spectacular.
Would you like to take me home?
MALE SPEAKER 3: Sure, I'll take you home.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh, you just looked at my boobs.
Let's go check out Patrick's space.
Oh, the mother load!

Nice to meet you.

Do you want to put a shirt on, or are you all right?
You look good.
It's just like every McMansion in-- in--
in Scottsdale, Arizona.
They rely on their bubble rooms.
Patrick, I'm out of cocktails.
Will you refill this?
PATRICK: Yes, I'd be happy to.
ARDEN MYRIN: Kitty needs another drink.
Wait a minute, please press.
This is awesome.
I've got five dates.
All right, we'll settle your tab, and let's get in the bus.
Not for you.
I need to check your ID.
Oh my god.
Yes, please.
More of this, please.
I'm never leaving.
You've realized that?
I could do this forever.
BETH HOYT: Wow, that was some awesome stuff.
What is the-- um, what's the craziest thing you've seen?
ARDEN MYRIN: I think the craziest one was the-- the
amazing woman Angel Idealism.
She lived in a real squat--
in a bubble in the East Village in the rubble.
And that was--
I didn't know that that still existed, you know what I mean?
Like, that there were still squatters.
BETH HOYT: You didn't know that existed?
Yeah, well, squat--
that's amazing.
That's a really funny episode.
And yeah, her bed is in-- is in like, a bubble?
ARDEN MYRIN: It's in a bubble.
It was in a bubble.
And that would definitely be the craziest.
That would definitely be the crazy-- it was pretty amazing.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, that-- that--
that's awesome.
And the swing is cool.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh, yeah--
Brooklyn really brought, like--
what people made-- they really carved out their apartments.
And there was a swing.
And, um, it was just very cool to see how people carved out
their spaces.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, and also that people just let you--
they let you and the camera crew go to their house.
ARDEN MYRIN: It was interesting just to see.
Because in the beginning, you know, and every morning you
would never know who-- where the day was going to take you.
And we had a bus, so we could also just capture people and
just have, like, this party bus and go home with people.
And it was interesting, sort of, as a blonde girl to safely
be able to go home with anyone and know that I had like 20
people with me, so like nothing--
it was really fun.
BETH HOYT: That's the best way--
I always think that, like, I need to date more people-- not
necessarily to date them, but just because I need to see
more New York City apartments.
ARDEN MYRIN: It was amazing.
It was amazing.
BETH HOYT: We have a comment from YouTube.
Um, this is from endthefighting--
"Arden, as you seem to be a Christmas fanatic, have you
got any tips for anyone born on the 25th of December who
has become indifferent to the holiday ever since?"
I'm also a December baby.
My birthday is on Monday, and to me, I feel like I'm pretty
shameless about it.
I don't--
I-- it's got to be hard to be on the 25th, but if you have
the capacity to throw a blow-out bash for yourself.
That's what I would say.
I feel like you've got to throw yourself a party.
Even if you don't want to, you've got to
throw yourself a party.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, people want something to do on
Christmas Day, too.
Like, Christmas Eve might be family time, but Christmas Day
they're looking to give their friends.
And then like, Christmas night nobody's going-- like if
people want to go do something, like, roller
skating or something.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, or just plan a "Les Mis" party, because
that's where everyone's going to be.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god, to watch Russell Crowe singing?
BETH HOYT: Another comment from YouTube is from
"arden, getting up to anything for your birthday? it's in a
few days, yeh?" Oh, look at this guy.
ARDEN MYRIN: Well, thank you for asking.
And thank you for remembering!
That's nice.
I am shamelessly doing--
I have two parties--
one in New York and one in Los Angeles, and
I'm going to go see--
BETH HOYT: Just like Gwyneth Paltrow.
ARDEN MYRIN: --"Annie." Just--
I'm so like Gwyneth Paltrow.
And I'm going to go see "Annie" with my mom on
Saturday night.
BETH HOYT: Oh, that's fun.
ARDEN MYRIN: I can't wait.
BETH HOYT: That's really--
I really want to go.
Um, here's a Twitter question.
This is from um, whatsupcarley--
"what's your favorite Christmas/holiday tradition?"
ARDEN MYRIN: I love carols.
I like carols.
Like, I like--
BETH HOYT: You go caroling?
ARDEN MYRIN: I've gone caroling in Brooklyn.
And it was super fun.
I like singing Christmas carols, and um--
BETH HOYT: I've never done--
I've never actually caroled.
Well, maybe I did in high school, but--
ARDEN MYRIN: What is yours?
What's your favorite tradition?
BETH HOYT: --not in Brooklyn.
Um, well, I like--
I just love opening presents on Christmas morning.
ARDEN MYRIN: I like presents.
BETH HOYT: Even though I don't know-- care about presents
much anymore, but I just like being uh--
I'm always designated to like, hand out the presents to
everyone in my family.
And I sit in front of the fireplace and like, over-heat
because I'm also drinking champagne.
ARDEN MYRIN: Yeah, you are!
BETH HOYT: And then I'm like, oh, I'm so tired and drunk.
ARDEN MYRIN: You're the cute elf!
BETH HOYT: Exactly.
That's my favorite.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
It's from Laurel Jane-- "Where did you get the idea for 'Take
Me Home?'"
ARDEN MYRIN: You know what, it actually wasn't my idea.
I'm obsessed with an interior design.
I'd done a bunch of Nate Berkus's, and so Spaces TV
approached me about hosting the show.
And I was super excited to be able to do it.
So I was like, yes, please sign me up.
Dream job, so if there's anything more out there that
they want me to do, I am your girl.
BETH HOYT: That's something I always wanted to do.
You look around, and you're like oh my god, what does your
place look like?
Do you have a new kitchen, and are you-- do you live alone?
ARDEN MYRIN: And it was interesting to see--
like, is it-- do people-- is it what you would guess
people-- you know what I mean?
You sort of wonder what the deal is.
It was very interesting.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, like maybe they save all of it for their
wardrobe and then the apartment's trash--
or the opposite.
ARDEN MYRIN: Exactly, exactly.
BETH HOYT: Don't know until you check it out--
until you get them to take you home.
BETH HOYT: Here's a comment.
This is from greg Franz--
"whats the best pickup line you heard."
ARDEN MYRIN: Ooh, what about you?
BETH HOYT: I suppose you've probably been throwing them
out like crazy with like-- at your show.
So you'd be good at dishing them.
ARDEN MYRIN: Best pick-up line?
BETH HOYT: I feel like there--
I mean, there's been so few like, best ones.
There are so many bad ones.
I feel like I've been like insulted into making out with
people in the past-- like, exactly.
Like, you know what your problem is?
Whenever it starts with--
BETH HOYT: You're like guilted or like saddened into it?
ARDEN MYRIN: Whenever it starts out with "do you know
what your problem is?"-- it's like, oh, really, will my
problem be solved by making out with you?
I don't do that anymore, but I might have when I was 19.
BETH HOYT: That's so sad.
And you're like, oh, yeah, that is my problem.
Just comfort me.
You're right.
You're so right.
I've got a lot of things to learn.
BETH HOYT: I think buying a drink is a good start.
If you can follow it up with like, being a normal person--
BETH HOYT: --that's probably a good pick-up line.
ARDEN MYRIN: Send a drink-- having a drink sent.
BETH HOYT: That's something that is on my bucket list for
someone to do to me.
ARDEN MYRIN: I sent something to someone it as like a friend
thing, and it felt like--
I felt like Alec Baldwin must feel-- like, oh, awesome.
oh-- oh--
That is um-- thank you for your questions, you guys.
Keep them coming.
We're going to be tackling more of those.
Next up, we are going to do the holiday
chubby bunny challenge.
Don't go anywhere.

-Hey, guys, can I use your computer to check my email.
-You have email?
-Of course I have email.
What's this?
-A laptop.
-Who are you?
-I'm just messing with you.

ANDREW W.K.: Hello.
My name is Andrew W.K., and you're watching "My Damn
Channel Live." Cheers, and party hard.

BETH HOYT: Hello, friends.
As you may have heard, comedian-actress Ardin Myrin
is in the house--
BETH HOYT: And like many classy ladies before us, we're
about to shove marshmallows in our mouths until they no
longer fit.
BETH HOYT: But we're making it even classier and even more
timely, because we're going to do the holiday
Chubby Bunny Challenge.

How do you do the Chubby Bunny Challenge?
Have you ever done this before?
BETH HOYT: You put a marshmallow in your mouth, and
you say chubby bunny.
And then you keep doing that until you can no
longer speak the words.
And we'll each keep tally of how many marshmallows we get.
Oh, and you make it holiday by using holiday marshmallows.
ARDEN MYRIN: These are big.
These are big.
BETH HOYT: Also, we should get bonus points for these.
These are--
ARDEN MYRIN: There are like-- these are Peeps.
Yeah, these are major.
These are like two marshmallows in one.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, so we can just--
ARDEN MYRIN: There's some little marshmallows, but we've
got a couple Peeps.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, we-- well, let's call them Peeps.
And I think we should get two points for each one.
ARDEN MYRIN: We get two points.
BETH HOYT: So, you get to go first.
BETH HOYT: You're the guest.
ARDEN MYRIN: I have a small mouth.
BETH HOYT: I have a huge mouth.
ARDEN MYRIN: I have a tiny mouth.
Chubby bunny.
BETH HOYT: Oh my god, you're going to be
like three and done.
Here we go, guys.
Let's just put this in the--
chubby bunny.
ARDEN MYRIN: All right, I'm going to have to go small on
the next one.
BETH HOYT: Just two.
That only counts for one.
ARDEN MYRIN: Chubby bunny.
Now I went to three.
Chubby bunny.
Three chubby bunnies.
BETH HOYT: I'm doing another big one--
put it in this cheek.

I'm going to choke.
Uh-uh, it's fine.
Oh my god-- chubby bunny.
ARDEN MYRIN: All right, I'm going to
go for the big snowman.

BETH HOYT: Oh, there you go.
ARDEN MYRIN: Chubby bunn--
chubby bunny!
I'm going--
another big one.
This might be a mistake.
BETH HOYT: OK, I'm going to put this one-- where am I
going to put it?
On the back.

Chubby bunny!

Chubby bunny!

BETH HOYT: Chubby bunny?

Chubby bunny!

BETH HOYT: I had to stop, because, um--

I started--
well, we have a tally.
Oh, man.
Well, that's not fair.
I could put--
I'll put them back in.
I was starting to choke.
How do you prevent yourself--
Look at her go!
Look at her go!
We have a comment.
Bradley Werner-- "Go Arden!
Chubby Bunny the shit out of Beth!" She just did.
Are they not going down your throat and into your body?
That's what's happening for me.

BETH HOYT: No, that's not.
ARDEN MYRIN: Chubby bunny!
BETH HOYT: That's not-- how is she doing-- she's a monster!

This is incredible.
Listen, I'm not stop--
I mean, I'm going to let you keep doing it.
That was really--
oh, there it goes.
BETH HOYT: We have another comment.
Oh, that was so impressive.
BETH HOYT: AndThenThereWereCats--
"Is it just me, or is Eggnog and fruitcake the worst things
of the holiday season?"
what's in my bowl might be the worst thing.
Oh my god!
You deserve it.
You kicked the shit out of me and--
ARDEN MYRIN: I kicked the shit out of-- this is--
BETH HOYT: But only-- unless you aren't keeping track
I'll just fall into the marshmallows.
That'd be graceful.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god, it makes me feel
so good about myself!
BETH HOYT: But she only won by one.
Because you-- she had-- she did--
ARDEN MYRIN: But look at the size of this mouth!
I've got genetics against me.
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
BETH HOYT: You really do.
I know.
I thought I--
I thought I was going to nail that, but I tend to lose every
game I play on this show.
So I'm just keeping it consistent.
BETH HOYT: Oh, no.
I feel okay about it.
I almost died.
ARDEN MYRIN: You know what?
I feel like we've been through something together.
BETH HOYT: I really do, too.
You have so much green all over your face.
ARDEN MYRIN: I-- you know what?
It means I'm ready for my close-up.
BETH HOYT: It means you're ready for--
she's ready for the close-up.
We are ready for it.
We have a comment.
This is from mways6--
Do you have a Christmas tree?
If so, what's your topper?
Is it glittery?"
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god, well, I just got--
I'd just got my first Christmas tree.
It's this big.
His name's Steve.
BETH HOYT: Oh, right.
ARDEN MYRIN: And I am looking for a topper.
BETH HOYT: She's in the market for a topper.
ARDEN MYRIN: I'm in the market for a topper.
I would love to like put this on.
If I can construct something like this-- like a--
BETH HOYT: Can Steve hold this?
I think if I could somehow put a karate figure on top-- and
yes, it will be glittery for sure.
I'm open to any--
you can tweet me @ardenmayrin--
I will definitely--
I'm open to any tree-topper suggestions.
Another comment is from, um, LovelyShenanigans--
"she's already my favorite guest that's been
on the show so far.
ARDEN MYRIN: LovelyShenanigans!
Shout out LovelyShenanigans!
BETH HOYT: I have to kind of agree with you,
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god!
BETH HOYT: This has been really fun.
Arden, what is the secret to your energy?
ARDEN MYRIN: You know what?
I eat a bowl of these every morning.
I wake up--
BETH HOYT: That's where the other bowl went.
ARDEN MYRIN: I-- that's where the other bowl went.
I eat chubby bunnies every morning.
BETH HOYT: Eat chubby bunnies-- that's what
marshmallows are called.
I think you can eat--
now, next time you eat s'mores, do you think you're
going to just eat four at a time?
Because I might be like, I can do--
I can--
ARDEN MYRIN: I love s'mores.
BETH HOYT: Why do one at a time?
Me too.
ARDEN MYRIN: I'm a hungry girl.
BETH HOYT: Here's another comment.
This one's from ButUm Ch--
love it--
"Can either of you ski or snowboard, or are you--" I
love that you--
did you put the second part of the sentence for me? "--or are
you uncoordinated?"
ARDEN MYRIN: Well, I am uncoordinated, and yes, I can
ski really uncoordinatedly.
It's not pretty, but I can ski.
Yes, I can ski.
I'm without flair.
BETH HOYT: I feel like I might be a really graceful, amazing
skier if I weren't afraid of the speed or the cold.
BETH HOYT: So I haven't really given the shot that I'm pretty
sure--I probably would be like, an Olympian.
ARDEN MYRIN: But you could look so adorable on the slopes
as a snow bunny.
BETH HOYT: It's true.
I would like to your lodge and get your hot
chocolate with the--
ARDEN MYRIN: And I would get you an outfit that you could
ski looking just like Evel Knieval.
BETH HOYT: That's-- well, with some glitter.
BETH HOYT: I love it.
Oh my gosh.
Arden, you're like really the most charming person I think
I've ever met.
ARDEN MYRIN: Oh my god!
BETH HOYT: Where can people find more of you?
ARDEN MYRIN: OK, OK, OK, I have a benefit
for Hurricane Sandy.
Everything's going to the Red Cross.
It's December 13 at the Bell House, New York.
And Janeane Garofalo is going to do it--
Jon Glazier from "Delocated"--
all sorts of secret fun guests.
I will be doing it.
Please come.
BETH HOYT: Her show, Party Machine is so fun.
I love going to it.
ARDEN MYRIN: So, Party Machine-- and on Twitter--
Thank you so much for being here.
ARDEN MYRIN: Thanks for having me, sweet Beth!
BETH HOYT: Everyone subscribe to Spaces.
Watch "Take Me Home." Please come by anytime.
We can always get more fluffy food and more tags and stuff.
BETH HOYT: OK, up next we're bringing Nate up to talk about
his time with Grumpy Cat.

STEVE: Impressive!
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: You're making Jack's brownies?
STEVE: I am indeed.
I am, and I made a batch for myself-- for this guy.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Look at you.
Yeah, I'm loving this, by the way.
STEVE: This is, uh, masculinity.
STEVE: What say after I make these brownies, I get to glaze
those melons?
STEVE: All right.
All right, babe.
I love you.
At least we've still got Daddy's medicine, huh?
What do we have here?
Colombian Skull Fuck.

Ah, that's a little conservative for my taste.
How about the Paula Deen portion?
Mix it up.
Hey babe.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Hey honey.

STEVE: Babe, where are the brownies with the green top?
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Oh, I dropped it off at the
Schwarzes with Jack.
STEVE: Oh, shit!


JACK: What the fuck, man?

Barbara just called me.
She was hysterical.
She said that you sprinted into her house, and you were
slapping brownies out of the kids' hands.
STEVE: Barbara is such a narc, babe.
Yes, I did go over to their house, and I was slapping
brownies out of kids' hands, but there's a
method for my madness.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: I'm all ears.
STEVE: Oh, where do I begin.
I was at the grocery store, and I saw this
gigantic fatso kid.
And I thought to myself, God, this is awful.
This child obesity is an epidemic.
So this is what it was all about.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Did you do something to these?
STEVE: No, I just--
I probably added too much oil--
or pot.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Are you kidding?
STEVE: Good?
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Yeah, good.
Oh, look at that!
Oh, good.
STEVE: Oh, they're gone!
Let me see those hands.
STEVE: There-- there you go, doubting Thomas.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: Yeah, I guess, uh, I'd like to see
that other hand, now.

STEVE: Oh, dammit.

MALE SPEAKER 4: Hey man, someone just
threw in some pot brownies.
Can you believe it?
STEVE: Yeah man, those are my pot brownies.
Did you eat them all?
MALE SPEAKER 4: No, man.
There's more in here.
Come on in!
STEVE: What?
god, just find me one.
MALE SPEAKER 4: Man, this is some good weed.
I'm fucked up.
STEVE: Oh my god.
Do you have anything to wash this down with?
MALE SPEAKER 4: Well, I got a little bit of mine here.

JOHN BENJAMIN: Hi, I'm John Benjamin and you're watching
"My--" um--
MALE SPEAKER 5: Damn Channel Live.
JOHN BENJAMIN: --"Damn Channel Live"--
"My Damn Channel Live."
BETH HOYT: Hi, I'm here with Nate.
NATE: Hi, Beth!
BETH HOYT: Seems so low key compared to Arden, right?
NATE: I know.
I'm like trying to match the energy now.
BETH HOYT: You need to eat some Peeps.
NATE: Oh, OK, I'll get one.
BETH HOYT: Um, how are you?
NATE: I'm doing well.
How are you?
BETH HOYT: I'm great.
I'm great.
Um, so you met a celebrity this week.
NATE: Oh my gosh.
I met Grumpy Cat--
the Grumpy Cat.
BETH HOYT: That's amazing.
NATE: Yeah, I mean, and you know what, Grumpy Cat is like,
super, super grumpy, uh and she had been doing--
BETH HOYT: Good, that's what we want to hear.
NATE: Yeah, I mean, yeah, Grumpy Cat is grumpy--
sky is blue.
Uh she is also very tiny and very adorable.
She's the--
most famous cat that everyone wants to see in person, and
you got to.
NATE: I know.
It was great.
And, uh, you know, I tried to take on the task of
cheering her up.
NATE: Yeah.
So-- and we shot a video of it.
BETH HOYT: Awesome.
I want to see you trying to cheer up Grumpy Cat--
the Grump-- the Grumpy Cat.
Let's check it out.
NATE: Hey guys, this is Nate, and I'm here with Grumpy Cat.
She's been all over New York City today, and she is
completely exhausted.
So I'm going to try a bunch of different ways to cheer up
this gal, and we'll see what happens.

Everybody likes getting presents.
Look, string!

OK, that one didn't work, but I got a lot more.
Let's try them.
Every cat likes ribbons.

Grumpy, just hang out with me here.

What is the cat's favorite police drama?
"Claw and Order."
You feeling this?
You feeling it?
Snack break!

OK, if this doesn't work, I don't know what will--
fancy costume party!

Oh, you just look so mad.

So I tried to put you in a good mood, and it didn't work.
And now I'm feeling kind of grumpy, too--
and tired.
Let's just both go to sleep.
BETH HOYT: Hope you had some chaperones in that hotel room.
NATE: Uh, Grumpy Cat has a whole hotel room to herself.
NATE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: That's fame.
That is animal fame.
You just-- she didn't-- and she was very calm about you
spooning her at the end there.
NATE: Yeah, it--
BETH HOYT: She was OK with that.
NATE: --that was the only thing she
didn't seem grumpy about.
She was just like, ready to go.
BETH HOYT: Because she was asleep, and she didn't know.
NATE: Yeah.
Yeah, she was exhausted.
She's so tiny.
She's a dwarf kitty.
BETH HOYT: She's a dwarf kitty?
NATE: Mhm, she's a dwarf kitty, so she's going to stay
that big forever and that adorable.
BETH HOYT: No wonder she's so famous.
NATE: Yeah, and with the face locked in like--
BETH HOYT: Yeah, so that-- at the very end, you get the
close up of like what--
so it's her underbite that keeps--
NATE: Yeah, yeah, and brow, too.
BETH HOYT: I thought it was her brows.
NATE: It's both.
Like, try it.
It's like--
BETH HOYT: Whose is-- whose is better?

I think--
I don't know.
I think that's pretty close to it.
We have a comment from Tumblr.
This is from snookin4love--
um-- "I am crying.
Is it possible to be Cat's biggest fan?" You might be.
NATE: Oh my gosh, maybe.
BETH HOYT: That's a lot of g's on the crying.
And that's--
that's pretty much how we determine it here at "My Damn
NATE: Yeah, g's and punctuation, and if you have
numbers instead of exclamation points.
BETH HOYT: Mhm, oh, she didn't do that.
NATE: Oh, maybe not then.
Oh no.
BETH HOYT: There might be a fan bigger than you.
But I'm-- but I wipe your tears, because Grumpy Cat will
never be not grumpy for you if he couldn't be not grumpy
looking at-- she-- looking at Nate.
Here's another comment from YouTube.
This is from, uh, eefanatic--
"Grumpy Cat is not amused."
NATE: Absolutely not.
BETH HOYT: Would you want her to be, though?
That's what I was--
I was worried when I first saw the video that like, you were
going to cheer her up somehow, and then like she'd just like
smile, and be like--
NATE: It would magically, do-duh-do.
BETH HOYT: Or but when someone who's like not supposed to
make a something-- like the--
when the Grinch smiles, you're like, no, no, no, go back to
the other thing!
NATE: Oh my god, yeah.
Like, has somebody photoshopped that upside down
to look like a this instead of that?
Because I don't know, that might be terrifying.
BETH HOYT: Do you ever do the thing when you look at someone
upside down for a long time, and then you start seeing
like, this is their nose.
Have you ever-- do this game?
BETH HOYT: If I could just like, dangle upside-down right
and do it for you, I would.
But it's so-- it starts getting so weird.
Then you start picturing like these are their top teeth.
You should do it if you have a friend over right now.
NATE: You can do it with the googly-eyed puppets down here.
They do that, and that freaks me out.
Is that what you're talking about, kind of?
BETH HOYT: Kind of.
Yeah, you could add the eyes if you need that for your
imagination, because it's not strong enough.
Anyway, it's a really fun game.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
This is from us see cmyanmar13--
"That cat is my hero."
NATE: Mine, too, because--
BETH HOYT: I know.
NATE: --she just didn't-- like, she was an immovable
object, you know what I mean?
BETH HOYT: Right, she figured out her shtick.
She got right into Hollywood using that shtick, and like,
she's there to stay.
And everyone wants to see more and more and more.
NATE: And Hollywood will not change her, ever.
BETH HOYT: Well, we hope not.
BETH HOYT: They won't change her size.
NATE: Oh my gosh, no one can change her size.
BETH HOYT: She's just a winning combination.
NATE: Yeah, or-- or how-- adorable how she is.
Ah, adorable!
BETH HOYT: So we'll--
yeah, that's tough for you--
I know it's hard for you to say cute words like that.
I know.
NATE: I was trying to do a face.
BETH HOYT: Here's--
here's a comment.
This is from Cate Blake--
that's a--
OK, "who's cat is that?"
NATE: Uh, she has some, uh, really nice owners from--
I believe it's Arizona--
that were in town for the weekend.
And they had--
I think they had never been to New York before.
BETH HOYT: Oh really?
NATE: Yeah.
And they had done a spot on the Today Show and everything,
so they were exhausted, too.
But they were very nice.
BETH HOYT: That's the way to go to get a cat.
So it's also like a little bub, too.
Any cat that has some sort of like--
that is not the most normal cat--
you shoot to fame.
NATE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: And then you can come to New York for your
first time and be on the Today Show.
NATE: Oh, yeah.
BETH HOYT: We have a Facebook question or comment, and this
is from, um, Danielle Rodriguez--
"Grumpy cat, grumpy cat--
how is he treating--" Am I missing the tune for this?
Do you know, Nate?
NATE: Oh my gosh, is this like, from "Friends"?
BETH HOYT: Grumpy cat, grumpy cat.
Oh, yeah!
NATE: "How is he treating you?"
BETH HOYT: "Grumpy cat, grumpy cat--
it's all his fault." Wow!
NATE: That's not bad for only seeing like two episodes of
"Friends" ever.
BETH HOYT: I've seen that.
What does she really say?
No, it's--
NATE: It's smelly cat.
NATE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: I knew that.
Just give me a second--
NATE: Sorry.
BETH HOYT: --to get it out.
NATE: No, too late.
BETH HOYT: Smelly cat-- yeah, that's good.
I like that.
Wow, thanks for your great questions and stuff guys-- and
all over the interwebs.
We like that.
That's what-- thanks, Nate, for going to that hotel room,
spooning grumpy cat--
NATE: Oh, of course, uh--
BETH HOYT: --sharing your experience with us.
NATE: Yeah, no problem.
And also, if you want to watch the video again,
just go to my blog.
Also, there's a hidden annotation in it for another
bonus video, so try to find it.
BETH HOYT: Ooh, I'm--
I haven't done that.
NATE: Also, you can follow me on Twitter @ItsNateBennett.
NATE: There, too.
His blog and his Twitter are really funny, but Nate,
that's-- that's enough.
You've got to go back to work.
Thanks, you guys, for putting such great
questions in the chat.
Keep it up.
Later it's just me and you-- just hanging like old times,
making new times.
Up next, I have done all of your holiday shopping for you.
I'm very excited to present to you-- you're welcome--
your holiday list.
I'll see you soon.

BIG ANTHONY: Hey, I'm Big Anthony from
Big Anthony's Pizzeria.
There's no excuse why you can't come
down and try a piece.
Maybe you're saying, Anthony, the bus doesn't stop there.
Hey, shut up and eat the pizza.
Why not give my cheesy meatball a try?
Oh, but Anthony, I'm in a wheelchair, and it's a
struggle for me to try and do anything.
Shut up and eat the pizza.
But Anthony, I'm stranded on a desert island, and the only
thing keeping me alive is drinking my own piss.
You've got to shut up and eat that pizza.
I just wrote and directed a short film, and I want to take
the next step as a filmmaker.
Shut up and make a feature.
I don't know what to do with my life.
Shut up and become a teacher.
Hey, you're only open two hours every other day, and
every week is a every day, because every week is an odd
number of days.
Shut up and mange the pizza.
So come on down to Big Anthony's Pizza in the heart
of Century Plaza.
You have no excuse not to, capiche?
Eat the pizza!

BETH HOYT: Hi, now maybe you didn't get your holiday
shopping done on Black Friday, because you're like a normal
person who laid in bed all day since you were so full and
hungover from Thanksgiving.
No prob.
I've asked around.
I've perused the sites, and I've come up with the perfect
gift for each special person in your life.
The holidays are mostly about the fun gifts you'll hopefully
receive, but giving can be cool when it doesn't involve
that much work.
So here she is--
Beth's Holiday Gift Guide.

Let's start with your hard-to-shop-for family
members, OK?
For your brother--
this towel.
it's funny, but it's like, too gross to give to a boyfriend
or a girlfriend.
And it's functional.
I mean, you know your brother has only that one towel that
he barely ever washes.
For your mom--
infused vodka.
It's super easy.
You just stick some stuff in a jar of vodka, and your mom
will be super flattered you took the
time to make something.
So she'll drink lots of it and maybe tell you Christmas
secrets like who she dated before your dad.
For your cat--
just some catnip.
Seriously, you can love her, but she's still a cat.
That's what she wants.
For your grandma--
Her taste buds are probably shot, and how much more fun
would Christmas Day be than watching--
and then if you're watching grandma and cat
both high on catnip.
Give your grandma a laser pointer, and
sit back and enjoy.
OK, this one's for girls.
For your uncle who totally doesn't understand you--
season one of "Girls." For your spoiled cousin whose name
you pulled in the family secret Santa--
a Furby!
It's the reverse gift, because it's actually a curse.
For your single friend looking for a man--
a stud finder.
Apparently, it's like the easiest way to find studs.
I don't--
I don't know how it works, but this one is really highly
rated online.
It has like a guarantee of finding studs.
For your roommate--
the Wii U. Why is this the perfect
gift for your roommate?
Because then it's also basically yours, duh.
For your thrifty, crafty, fashionable friend or sister--
the I Spy DIY book, because she'll love it, and because
the author Jenny Radosevich is my BFF from first grade.
So you can totally, finally one up this friend or sister
by being like, I know the author.
It's my friend Beth's best friend from first grade.
For your friend who's a workaholic--
the girlfriend pillow.
Like, I mean he's probably so tired when he gets home, he
barely will know the difference.
And lastly, for your unborn children--
Twinkies, Sno-balls, Ho-hos, whatever Hostess you can get
your hands on.
They have to know what it tasted like!
And there's your holiday gift guide.
If I forgot someone you need to shop for, tweet at me.
I'll give you a suggestion.
I got a lot of ideas.
Ask me now if you want, because up next, we're diving
into your questions.
Do it now.
Ask me whatever.
See you in a sec.

DAN: Hey what's going on, roommates?
TIM: Dan, can you sit down?
DAN: Holy shit.
Is this an intervention?
TIM: No.
DAN: Give me a second.
Give me a second I had to smoke crack to suck dick--
other way around.
I'm sorry.
I'm nervous.
You guys put me on the spot here.

TIM: We're kicking you out.
DAN: No, it's cool.
I'm totally addicted to hydrocodone.
TIM: It's not just because you're a drug addict.
DAN: Well, what else?
JILL: You haven't paid rent three months.
DAN: Well, that's fucking Lehman Brothers' fault.
If they hadn't collapsed and I hadn't lost my job--
JILL: You were a janitor, and fired you
way before the crash.
DAN: Because I saw it coming.
JILL: Uh, I think it was because you called a woman in
a wheelchair a faggot.
DAN: She was being a faggot.
What, if you're handicapped, you're not
allowed to be a faggot?
That seems pretty narrow-minded, Jill.
JILL: You're such a bad person.
DAN: John, how about you?
you tried to fuck my girlfriend
when she came to visit.
DAN: I was just giving her a whore test, man-- for you--
turns out she's just really stuck up.
TIM: I'll help you pack, even though I'm pretty sure all you
have is a book on flipping houses and a Bud Light t-shirt
that says "Beware of Penguins."
DAN: Oh, OK.
Not all of us have fancy dress shirts, or Blu-ray, or
medicine, or Google, Todd.
TIM: It's Tim.
DAN: Tim--
Todd-- whatever.
I've been kicked out of four places this year-- four.
And that's not even counting the time I got thrown out of
Lady Foot Locker for eating a muffin.
This place is great.
There's no water that leaks on me, and bugs, and I'm not
having that dream where I'm-- where I'm driving a bus, and
we're trying to get the kids to heaven, but-- but-- but the
kids don't know they're dead.
So I've got to tell them they're dead.
And we're so close to the park.
TIM: I'm sorry.
DAN: My dad treats me like shit.
I got a weird body.
TIM: Yeah, we're done.
DAN: I just want you guys to know--
you were never second best.
JILL: Thanks, Dan.
DAN: Hey, Jill?
JILL: Yeah?
DAN: Fuck you.
I was talking about the guys.

TIM: You're--
you're going to take that cat, right?
DAN: He's been dead for three days.


BETH HOYT: Hi, guys.
It's just you and me.
How have you been?
If you follow me Twitter, then you know some of the things
I've been up to-- like, I went to San Francisco for the first
time this past weekend.
But let's just like, get into secrets and throw the table--
just get into secrets and dreams, and also, like, some
easy questions, too, OK?
I'm open to whatever.
Here's a comment.
This is from, um, Rose Matinda--
"Hey how are you guys and what are you doing for
Christmas?" I'm great.
I am totally having a sugar high right
now from those peeps.
Um, so I feel really excited and great, and also just
like-- like, still Arden's energy is like still vibrating
in the room.
And what am-- what was it?
What am I doing for Christmas?
I am going to be going home on December 24--
flying in.
If anyone wants to drive me to my home, which is an hour from
the airport, I will accept a ride from
Milwaukee to Manitowoc.
And then I'm going to just be, like, playing
around with my nephews--
and before that, lots of Christmas New York parties.
I'm going to have like, a super, uber adult New York
Christmas with like all my fancy shirts and everything--
and like--it's like, all my pearl-type jewelry with lots
of ribbons and things, and then I'm going to go wear
sweatpants for an entire week and eat
cookies for every meal.
Next comment from ylimeboobs--
"I have never actually had a Twinkie before." Ylimeboobs,
where do you live?
We got to get-- someone's got to send
ylimeboobs a twinkie ASAP.
oh my god, I can't even-- there's no way to even
describe what it tastes like, because it's not real food.
But you-- it will--
I'm going to try.
Ylimeboobs, OK, it's like a spongy angel food cake, but
more processed and a little bit greasy.
Um, and the inside is a--
is a really light custard-y cream, like inside a doughnut.
Tell me you've had a frickin' donut.
But it's really light and really even more sugary.
Are you following me?
And the bottom has this like, uh, thicker-- like a-- a
thicker thing that always gets stuck on the wrapper, so you
don't even know what that tastes like, because it's
usually there.
ylimeboobs, you've got to figure out how to get one.
You can probably get one on eBay.
If it's over $500, it's not worth it.
They're kind of disgusting.
But if it's under $100, do it.
Here's a comment.
This is from, um, VagicalBoobicorns.
Wow, you guys.
Really it's got some--
"worst and best Christmas?"
VagicalBoobicorns, let me tell you--

oh, I love that.
Gosh, VagicalBoobicorns, my best Christmas ever was when I
got this Barbie kitchen once that, like, uh, really was
hard to set up and took all Christmas day.
Those were the best.
Remember getting toys that like, took a long time to set
up on Christmas morning, so that was like your Christmas
morning, and then you had it to play with?
And then you'd get sick of it, but it was really
fun setting it up.
And it was this Barbie kitchen that had all these stickers,
like that you put on the stove top and the microwave, and it
had a ton of different battery parts and like all these--
so much fun to set up.
And I think it was like the last year I got Barbie stuff,
so I even knew it was bittersweet.
But like, it was about to end.
Uh, the worst Christmas was the year after that when I
just got clothes, because I was like, too old to get
Barbie stuff and reality set in.
VagicalBoobicorns, any more comments from you, I'll just--
that's fine, because I'll just read your name.
Here's another comment.
This is from theJtot--
"you had a suggestion for grandma. what about grandpa?
and what about dad?" OK, for your grandpa, there's this
thing you can find on Amazon that's called-- it's a um-- a
pickle-- a yo-- a pickle yodeler.
It's like a-- it's totally pointless, but like, he
doesn't need anything.
And he doesn't want you to spend his money on him.
He just wants like something that you feel good about
giving him and that maybe you can all laugh at and have a
photo-op with on Christmas morning.
So give him this like, yodel-- yodeling pickle,
I think it's called.
For your dad, um--
Dads are so hard.
You should get him an awkward family photos book, because
don't dads always want like books to
have on their ottoman--
the coffee table in front of them.
And they have the golf ones and like the-- the like atlas
things they look at.
So give him the awkward family photos, because it will teach
him, like, humor.
And maybe like, he'll laugh.
And you can laugh at the same thing, then,
because you'll be like--
is-- and there's-- and that book is undeniably funny.
And I mean, you can find it, you know, at any Urban
Outfitters along with the other like,
last minute gift ideas.
And it works, so--
god, I'm nailing this hard core.
Next comment.
Bring it on.
Jim Kennedy Summers--
"As a child did you ever sneak into your parents closet to
find out what they had bought you for Christmas?"
And then I always regretted it, but I mean if you know
where it is--
you got--
you got to--
you got to go there.
Tell me that you have as well.
Um, I just know that every year, I went into the same
place, and it's like that fact that my mom thought it was
still a hiding spot--
duh, one closet in the back of this room in our basement
that's like, covered by boxes-- and this little closet
that has nothing, but um, her old bowling bag!
That came up again.
That's the thru-line for the show.
Anyway, in that closet back there--
of course that's where our Christmas presents are.
Any smart child knows that.
Here's a comment from YouTube--
Becky Hepworth--
"Beth, have you come up with any New Years resolutions
yet?" I have a whole month more of mistakes to make
before I decide which ones are the ones I need to work on.
So I have some ideas of like, things I should improve upon--
like um--
if there's somebody I don't know.
But basically, I'll get back to you on that for sure.
I will definitely do a blog about my resolutions and
stuff, because I will have them.
Every year I write them down in a notebook.
And if it's in pen, that's very strong.
But uh--
I-- as of yet, I'm just making mistakes all December.
So let's do that together.
Here's a tweet.
And this is from uh, LivOD, Olivia Davidson--
"Favorite thing about winter?" I bet Arden would-- because
this is also for Arden.
She'd have some answers, because she loves winter.
My favorite thing is--
um, I do love snow, at like the look of it--
and um, not-- not necessarily being in it.
You know, it's fun.
Best snowball fight ever-- sorry, I'm going off the topic
for a second--
isn't one of your favorite moments in life when you think
about snow in "Dumb and Dumber" when there's the
snowball fight?
And Jeff Daniels throws a snowball, and then it's like,
just too much.
That's-- that's great-- my favorite snow memory.
But um, I also like winter accessories, like getting a
cute hat and scarf.
That's a good winter thing.
And Starbucks cups--
I'm telling you, really, like, make me happy.
I know I'm not the only one.
I know I'm one of 8 million people who agree that there's
nothing that feels more festive than a sugary drink in
a Starbucks holiday cup--
coming down from the Peeps, you guys.
No, I'm feeling great!
Here's a comment.
This is from um Bradley Werner--
"Whose your favorite famous cat?
Grumpy Cat, Garfield, Heathcliff, Nermal, Azrael,
Lion-o?" I don't know who Azrael is, so not that one.
Um, I like Garfield.
I like Gar--
I really--
I grew up on Garfield, and I liked--
I love watching that show, and I like him.
He's a little shit, and I like that, and I appreciate that
and his consistency with just being a little shit.
He's the original Grumpy Cat, right?
Mhm, that's why Grumpy Cat resonates with all of us.
We grew up on Garfield--
so for sure that.
I also really love Lil Bub.
I mean, it's a new Tumblr post every minute, but I want it,
and I want to see it.
That cat is a Lil Bub.
OK, here's another comment.
This is from, um, djames216.
"What is your favorite Christmas gift you were given
as a child.
Mine was Astro Wars, an electronic space invaders
game." I can feel you loving that.
I mean, childhood gifts were great.
Um, that is a good--
that is a good gift, I'm sure.
I love-- every year, my--
my sister and I get fake nails.
And we put press-on nails on, and we like, pretend-- and we
pretend, like, pick up credit cards and play store clerk.
It sounds dumb and it is.
Uh, but that's--
I love getting those fake nails every year, and
we press them on.
And like, one year, there-- we got permanent glue, and we
didn't realize it.
So we always put it on, and then it's time
to like, make dinner.
So we put these nails on with permanent glue, and we didn't
realize it was permanent.
We just thought it was-- that was how they
made it that year.
And then we went to go, like, have our day and like, take
our showers.
And we were just completely worthless, like Edward
So that was a difficult--
but that was a really fun time, because then we didn't
have to do any work.
I didn't have to shower.
I couldn't change my clothes-- didn't have to cook anything--
just sat there and was like, whoops.
Um, then we pulled them off, and that really hurt.
Here's a comment from Luis Fernandes--
"What awfull presents did you got?" Uh, my mom gets me
pajamas every year.
And I don't know about you guys, but I just wear like, my
old clothes to bed.
I don't wear like, pajama pajamas anymore-- like
matching things.
She likes to get me-- oh, she's going to be so pissed
that I say this.
Whatever pajamas you already got for me, mom,
it's totally fine.
I'll wear them that night.
But last year, she got-- so she keeps giving me-- they
keep getting like bigger and warmer.
And last year I got like, the thickest fleece you've ever
seen pants that are like the long-- they're for someone
who's like, 6 foot 5.
And they're Betty Boop.
And they um-- they-- they're just so, so bad.
And uh, and then there's a matching, like, sweatshirt--
fleece sweatshirt.
And I put it on just like for fun, and my sister and I are
dying laughing.
My sister got like a Mickey Mouse one, and um, we put them
on, and I literally like started overheating in that--
just like, I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
We put them on for like 10 seconds, and I
started just sweating.
It's the warmest thing I've ever put on in my life.
I don't know how anyone would sleep in that.
But obviously if they do, they're a giant.
And they're a giant who's like, still into Betty Boop.
It's some giant child out there that's
freezing that needs--
I need to get those pajamas to that person, because they need
them way more than I do.
They're just sitting in my closet now, like, waiting for
a photo op again.
Here's another comment.
This is from Brett Adelman--
"Why do you have one red fingernail?" Because it's
Christmas time, and I'm funky!
Do you believe me?
Well, I always paint this fingernail a different color,
and um, it will be a variation.
My nails will be a variation of red and green
for the next month.
But also, I got a manicure last week, and I--
I've had literally--
I may seem girly, but I've had like, four
manicures in my life.
I just don't have patience.
Whenever someone's doing it, I'm like just--
I'll just do it.
Um, but I got one last week, because I went somewhere fancy
this weekend, and I don't want to take off the rest of the
nails, because I mean, I've got a manicure.
So it should stay for like, two weeks, right?
I'm looking at Nate like he knows.
He's like, I don't know.
Here's another comment.
This is from iVlogNever--
you should start--
"Favourite winter candle scent?" Well, we kind of
covered this in the "Winterlicious," but I like
Christmas tree scent, because that always works.
And it always smells, like, pretty accurately like a
Christmas tree.
Also, those candles last forever, right?
When you get the big one, and it's like--
I've had the same Christmas tree one for about six years.
Uh, but whenever I get the--
like, the food ones-- the gingerbread or the-- like the
warm oatmeal cookie ones, it's a mistake.
It's a mistake, because A, it just-- you just
wanted to eat a cookie--
is what you wanted.
Do that.
B, it just-- you don't want your house to smell like that
all the time, or do you?

Here's a comment.
This is from Lydia Sanchez.
"if you could change your name would you?
and what would it be?" I used to really want to change my
name, because my last name is Hoyt, which is
very hard to hear--
sounds like white.
And the first time--
I remember we moved to a new town, and I-- we went into
Walmart to pick up some things.
I was in first grade, and uh, I got lost in the Walmart--
lost my parents in this new town.
So I went to the front desk, and I was
like, I lost my parents.
And they're like, no problem.
What's your name?
And I was like, it's Beth Hoyt.
And then they-- over the announcement, they said, we
have a Beth White here--
Beth White-- will the parents of Beth White please
come pick her up.
So I started crying even more.
I was like, no one's going to come get me.
And um, they didn't.
So I've got different parents, but they're--
they're good ones.
But I do want to change my name because of that, because
it sounds-- it's hard to hear.
Uh, but then I want--
I was thinking about changing to my mom's maiden name.
But that's Heidt--
which A, doesn't work because I'm tall.
So it's just like, making fun of myself.
But B, it's just too easy, too simple.
And for a while I wanted to be Libby,
because I'm an Elizabeth.
Um, and then I met a cat named Libby.
I don't know if you guys have ever had that, when you, like,
meet a pet that's the name you want for your child.
And then you're like, oh, is that an animal's name?
So I'm sticking with Beth Hoyt.
That's what we're sticking with.
Here's another comment from Vanessa Schneider.
"What about a gift for your boss?
Ideas?" Hm.
I think my boss needs some more of this--
um a new one-- like a fresh one--
uh, maybe for like a Monday before a big work week-- just
to like, slip it in the coffee.
It's a holiday cocktail.
It's how we do it.
Um, just to like, you know, make the holidays really chill
around here.
Uh, but yeah, boss ideas-- oh-- oh, I get--
for your boss, because you're asking me-- yeah, that.
Uh, so just some--
a bottle of liquor, because it A, it goes by-- it goes down
well, because they could put it on--
in their office, like, desk if they're like a
Mad Men type boss.
That's awesome if they are.
Um, so they'll just definitely appreciate that, because it'll
be gone by the end of the week.
Or they could-- you know, it's just a very classy gift to
give, and they could maybe pop it open while you're there.
Here's a comment-- if you want to drink with your boss.
Here's another comment.
This is for Abbyanimalover16--
oh, boy-- "What were you proud of this year?" Oh, this show.
I love this show, and I loved meeting all of you guys, and
like all of the questions you sent.
It's fun to like, get to know you.
And then now I like know some of you, and your names are
familiar to me.
And that's really cool, and that--
I always want to know more about you.
And um, I've met all these great people.
And, um, I've learned to talk a little bit slower--
not a lot.
You guys know, because you've been suffering through it.
But um, I talk really fast.
I can talk way faster than this.
But I've learned to slow it down a touch, um, kind of.
I'm proud of that.
And thank you for that ending note.
And I love you guys.
And that's our show.
Thanks again to Arden Myrin for stopping.
Thanks to the Grumpy Cat for hanging out with Nate.
I'll see you guys next week.
It's our official holiday show.
And if you saw our Halloween or Thanksgiving episodes, you
know we don't take holidays lightly around here.
It's going to be a big one with awesome guess, lots of
input from you as per use.
Um, in the meantime, check out my vlog, "Beth In Show." I'm
going to be doing more than one a week.
Talk to me on Twitter @TheBethHoyt.
And watch out for candy canes.
They'll cut your tongue.
And don't forget that you're my favorite.