Wickham Story Time - Ep: 45

Lizzie: Wow, so this the... 45th, 46th time that I'm talking to you?
Kinda losing count. But it's been a long while.
And I talk a good game, but sometimes I make mistakes.
A lot of mistakes. And if I'm wrong,
I'll be the first to admit it. But sometimes
what's worse than being wrong is being right.
Dear viewers, I did it. I said I would do it,
and I did it. My name is Lizzie Bennet,
and today, I found out the truth about Darcy.
Lizzie: We have a special guest today. And no, it's not Darcy.
You don't wanna meet him. Trust me. Not after you hear this.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is how it started.
Uh, this works best if you actually sit down.
Wickham: Nooo. I have never been in your room before,
so attention must be paid. I have to make sure you
don't have any red flags, like books on serial killers,
or anything shady or with shades.
Lizzie: Seriously George, you're giving the internet a show.
Wickham: Oh, is the camera on? Sorry about that, internet.
Lizzie: Sit!
Wickham: Yes, ma'am.
Lizzie: Internet, this is George Wickham. George, this is the internet.
Wickham: Oh, we've already been acquainted.
Lizzie: Oh no. You watched the other videos already?
Oh God, just tell me I didn't say anything too embarrassing.
Wickham: A gentleman would never tell.
No, it's fine. It was sweet, even. I knew
there was a reason I liked coming to this town
for swim meets. Everybody's just so friendly.
Well, not everybody.
Lizzie: You mean... Darcy?
Wickham: I do not trust myself on that subject.
Lizzie: OK, I'm sorry, it's just... I saw the look
between you two at Carter's, and I didn't even know
you knew each other.
Wickham: Yeah, we grew up together.
Lizzie: Really? OK, not prying, but what happened?
Wickham: It's not that I don't want to tell you, I just...
I don't want to sully any names.
Lizzie: You are a disturbingly good person. But...
I guess I understand.
Wickham: Although... the story could be told hypothetically.
Lizzie: I like the way you think!
Lizzie: Ready?
Wickham: Yeah.
Lizzie: Hello boys and girls! I'm going to tell you a story.
Once upon a time there were two little boys
who grew up together. One was called Dar... vid.
Darvid. And the other was called-
Wickham: Vin Diesel!
Lizzie: ...Vin Diesel?
Wickham: Oh! No... The Rock. Oh!... Batman.
Lizzie: Seriously?
Wickham: Batman is always serious.
Lizzie: OK... So Batman and Darvid did all the things
little boys do. They built forts, had mud fights,
ate bugs...
I don't have any brothers, you tell the story.
Wickham: Darvid's father loved Batman so much that
he promised to give him...
Lizzie: Um, so Darvid's father promised Batman
that when Batman grew up he could go to study
at a faraway castle.
Wickham: No, Batman doesn't want a castle. He wants a cave.
Lizzie: OK... So this cave was very distinguished, and everyone who
went there was sure to earn millions of dollars in their lifetime.
Wickham: It was an AWESOME cave.
Lizzie: And what did Darvid say when it was time for Batman
to go to the cave and he asked for the money?
Wickham: "No."
Lizzie: No? But why would Darvid deny Batman
his cave-studying dreams?
Wickham: Because he said that Batman didn't deserve to go to the cave.
Lizzie: That's right. Even though Batman and Darvid were lifelong friends,
Darvid broke his father's promise and wouldn't let him go
study at the cave.
So what did we learn from this story?
Wickham: That you're kinda crazy... and I like it.
Lizzie: And never trust anyone named Darvid!
I can't believe that happened to you.
And you've never been able to go-
Lydia: Hi Lizzie, I heard- oh, hi.
Lizzie: Lydia, we're in the middle of something serious.
Lydia: You're the swimmer, right?
Wickham: Ugh, my favorite shirt. Damnit!
Lizzie: Lydia! Oh my God, I'm gonna get you a towel.
Lydia: I am so sorry... You know, it can't be very comfortable
in a wet shirt. You should probably take that off.
Wickham: Yeah.
Lydia: That's better, right?
Wickham: Yeah.
Lydia: Yeah.
Lizzie: Here you go.
Wickham: Oh thanks, Peach!
Lydia: Let me help you with that.
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