You Suck at Photoshop - Photomerge


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 03.10.2008

Transcript:

DONNIE HOYLE: My name is Donnie,
and you suck at Photoshop.
Eh-- mm--
just swing your dumb sack and try to hit some smart.

People are always asking me, hey Donnie,
when are you gonna--
[SIGHING]
DONNIE HOYLE: Oh, Jesus.
[TYPING]
[POP]
DONNIE HOYLE: Ugh.
Fu--
[TYPING]
DONNIE HOYLE: Ugh.
[TYPING]
[CHUCKLING]
[POP]
DONNIE HOYLE: Urgh.

DONNIE HOYLE: People are always asking me, hey Donnie,
how you'd get so awesome?
Why are-- why do girls always want to totally
make out with you?
And you're great at Photoshop.
And also what is--
what's Photomerge in Photoshop?
I get asked that question all the time.
And so, I say--
and then--
I-- and then people also ask me, Donnie, what if I'm
actually in some trouble with the law, and it has to do with
some stolen merchandise, and there's not enough evidence to
convict me.
But I-- because I've spread the evidence across different
parts of my-- of my neighborhood.
And-- but now I need to go back and get all of those
things because somebody's going to be looking for 'em.
And I'm going to be a big trouble if I don't have them.
[SIGH]
DONNIE HOYLE: And also because I have to use such a stupid
800 by 600 resolution because all the people that watch my
videos are--
have dumb off--
old monitors.
I need to make a giant image.
Can Photomerge help me?
I get that question all the time.
And my answer is yes, Photomerge can help you.
Just let's-- let's take some different tiled pictures of
this huge--
we could never, we could never output this to one reasonable
map in this application.
We need to use Photoshop to do it.
So Shift Command 4 and start tile selecting different parts
of the map.
You know, wherever you might have left the different pieces
of evidence.
In a--
in a hobo camp, maybe.
Somewhere um, possibly at an old train station or maybe you
were able to take one of those pieces of evidence and plant
it in the school administration office.
Or maybe some of it's just simply wedged in a tree.
Or you made a friend at a bus stop and-- and-- and made a
deal for it to be returned on a certain date.
Wherever you might have planted all of that stuff, it
doesn't matter.
Just go through and start taking some snapshots.
And you're s--
I know what you're thinking-- oh Donnie, Donnie, my brain.
You--
I don't even know what you're doing right now.
I just want to make a collage.
My brain.
I won't be able to handle all my respiratory--
involuntary--
ver-- tary-- respiratory functions.
It's just-- ha--
just--
Just take it easy.
Go to Photoshop, File, Photomerge, select Auto Use
Files, Browse.
Look, we're going to go out and grab all those images so
we just snapshotted.
Click Open, click OK.
And then guess what?
Photoshop's gonna do the thinking for you.
Aw, look at it moving.
It's just moving so much-- you'd be like, uh-- wha--
dago--
all these layers and everything.
Photoshop's doing all these layers automatically.
Look what-- it's going to happen--
It's gonna put it all together in a nice collage.
And now, look at this.
Just sort of threaded it all together.
It found all of the edges and where they fit.
And now we can
take this image, [CLICKING]
DONNIE HOYLE: And we can save it.
And give it to a friend.
[CLICKING]
[SKYPE RINGING]
DONNIE HOYLE: And all we want to do is just be able to help
this friend understand that it's really important that
they don't screw this up.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: Unbelievable, man.
I mean--
DONNIE HOYLE: Hi.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: Unbelievable.
DONNIE HOYLE: No, I--
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: Now you get back--
DONNIE HOYLE: --I just need.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: --in touch with me.
DONNIE HOYLE: I just need a favor, really, please.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: Oh, you need a favor, man?
DONNIE HOYLE: I just need to--
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: Is it the locker room problem--
DONNIE HOYLE: --no.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: --again?
You know, just eat some fiber, man.
DONNIE HOYLE: Why would I do--
just listen to me.
Just, I need you take this.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: No, wait.
This is the thumb drive thing isn't it?
Now, you're finally going to tell me where they all are?
DONNIE HOYLE: Yes.
SN4TCHBUCKL3R: Aw, you are in big trouble, man.
You know what?
It doesn't even matter.
You're days are so numbered, man.
Beware the ides of Halloween, man.
DONNIE HOYLE: What?