Hollywood Stereotypes about Russians (Parody) with English captions


Uploaded by shtirlic76tube on 02.04.2011

Transcript:
Let's right now watch a parody on how it would be shot the domestic serial "The street of broken street lamps" in Hollywood.
Yes sir! General comrade!
We will find him and punish. The hat is by Senka.
Yes sir!
Comrades policemen! Bandits commited a serious crime. But you can't to do anything with that.
How do you do thanks
Come through Serezha! Sit by Ivan. Be so gentle.
The main bandit is Boris Morozoff.
deceived us around the finger.
Firstly, he is not dead.
What a shame! Deciver! Hooligan! Stinker!
Secondly, in the car of an American ambassador he has stolen very important informational.
Situation is desperate from under control.
Only an american can help us.
Captain John Malkovich.
How an American? Why an American? We need no American!
Stinker!
How do you do, comrades! My name is John Malkovich!
I'm sent to help you.
I'm the best policeman of Chicago.
I apologize for my poor Russian. [He speaks pure Russian, all the rest have terrible English accent]
What is he spelling?
Who can to recognize his speech?
Enough! Enough to wiggle [instead of twiddle] our thumbs.
Go out to work your business!
I have no time to dawdle away with you.
Kalinka-Malinka [of course, there is no more Russian songs, maybe only "black eyes"]
When I worked as a worker on this plant and made Russian cars We understood that American cars are better than ours
I hate Americans
To transcribe this disk for me, Leva Shpaismann.
What do medical examiners tell?
They don't tell anything. Today is a medic's day. They barely can to move their tongue.
What do you know about Morozov's gang?
Oh. We are totally patrol the situation. We have our man.
At the gang?
At the Russian baths.
We have to go seriously, immediately
Good! Come on! Add some steam, comrade!
Now It will be hot John!
Comrade! Don't let the heat go out! horseradish is not sweeter than radish
This is the captain Ekaterina Dragomirova. She'll be working with us.
How do you do, Katya!
Where should we look for Morozov?
As always there is a traitor in the Police, who to work for him.
Let's ask him!
But I to think you are already will never to remember about me.
I to work for Boris Morozoff already for many years. Now I open your steam room and let all the steam out. And all of you will be frozen.
Then I'll go to tha abandoned plant, meet Boris at this address knock the door three times as we are negotiated with him. And your world will go kaput.
Good luck! Plum in ass!
Why I have told you everything? Stinker!
What is an abandoned plant?
AutoVAZ
I don't like. Children, laugh, smiles, happiness
Who is there is there?
Morozoff open, we won't do anything to you, please.
So don't move Morozoff
Look! Gagarin!
Where?
Morozov
Give me back the disc with information and I guarantee your safety
What a kind!
Don't move!
Or I will be killing her painfully for ever.
Are you ready for this baby?
Leave her alone!
She has nothing to do with it.
She'll be a victim of Russian-American friendship.
Well! How do you do, Katya!
as you sow, you shall shake [instead of mow] Morozoff
Thank you comrades for good churned out work. Tomorrow I bring to you medals from home.
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
I'm calling everybody to the table
Congratulate you, comrade! Good. Thanks, please.
Help yourself Thank you.
It's time for me to go to airport. Maybe with me? Let's go to America!
John I can't. My father is comsomol.
But comsomol is broken down.
But my father is not.
John, I have to say you very important information.
If you are holding a hand of Russian girl for a long time then we'll have soon a son Petya.