l don't have a clue what l want to do with the rest of my life.
Mom and Dad are gonna kill you.
O ye of little faith.
They're not gonna kill me. Uh-huh.
l just have to spin it
and put it in terms they can understand.
l don't understand.
l don't understand, either.
Okay, l figure it like this.
The average cost of college is, what, $20,000 a year?
Now, according to these estimates that l got off the Web...
You can pass those around.
Someone with no education beyond high school
can expect to make about $20,000 a year in the current job market.
Now, that being said, over the next four years,
you could either spend $80,000
or l could make $80,000.
Are you saying you don't want to go to college?
No. l'm saying that it is fiscally irresponsible
for me to go to college. You know?
Are you huffing? Oh, God. No.
Are you high? You're huffing grass?
No. l'm not huffing, Mom. l'm not stoned. l'm completely fine.
ln fact, l'm more clear and level-headed than l've ever been.
Okay, cut the crap, Bartleby.
Society has rules.
And the first rule is you go to college. Mmm-hmm.
You want to have a happy and successful life? You go to college.
lf you want to be somebody, you go to college.
lf you want to fit in, you go to college.
Well, you know what? Maybe l didn't get into college.
What do you mean?
l didn't get accepted anywhere.
Oh, Bartleby.
Damn it.
l knew he should've started preparing for college in junior high
like his sister.
Now, she's got a shot. l've got a shot.
She's got a shot. Listen, guys.
There are plenty of successful people who didn't go to college.
Albert Einstein, you know.
Pocahontas never went to college.
Corey Feldman and Corey Haim.
They had a great run.
Both Lewis and Clark.
Suzanne Somers. Bono.
l need to go check on the cobbler.
"Check the cobbler." Glug, glug, glug.
You know, l really don't care what Sonny Bono did or didn't do.
You're goin' to college.
l told you so.
You were adopted.
