My Immortal Mondays - Chapter 38 + THE HACKED TROLL CHAPTER

Uploaded by Aliento on 26.09.2010

Chapter 38.
AN: wut doez every1 fink if I end da strory and den I add sum more 2 it after vocation?
oh yah asnd prepz stup flaming if u dnot lik dat story den take muh quiz ok den u wil c
if ur gofik or not!1111111
Satan and I walked 2 his car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license
plate said 666 just lik Draco’s car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it.
We talked about Satanism (lolz he wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.
“Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11” Volxemort agreed as we smoked sum weed. (koz
bi guyz r hot dey r so sensitive I luv dem lol goez fux a bi guy)
“Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena.” I said in a flirty
voice. “……….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Volxemortseruem?”
“Well………………” he thought. “I fink u have 2 drink Vampire blod.”
Suddenly Volxemort parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside.
We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl
were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we’re
While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan’s gothic blak Nightmare
b4 Christmas cigar sexily from his poket and put sum Amnesia potion in it. I put it bak
in his blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz
wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.
“OMG!111” Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid hed notizd. “Enoby gess
I new that the amnesia had worked.
“Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work.” He said. “2 badd
coz I wanted 2 use sum on u.”
“Kul.” I raised my eye suggestingly. And den………. he tok of my cloves sexily and
we started 2 make out. I tok of his shit. He had six-pak justr lik Gerard Way!11 We
“Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111” shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.
“Fuk u!11” I said. Suddenly…………………. I attaked her suking all her blood.
“Noooooo!11” she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped
koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.
“Zomg how did u do that?” Voldremort asked in a turned-on voice.
“I’m a vampire.” I said as we went into the car.
“Siriusly?” he gasped.
“Yah siriusly.” I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.
“Itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c da rest of the movie, don’t u fink?”
“Yah.” I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place
where Draco and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz
playing and started to mosh lol.
“Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111” screamed Marlin on da stage.
We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. He was so shmexay!1
He looked at me all emo with his gothic red eyes and he looked exactly like Mikey Way.
I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.
“I wood like to peasant……………..XBlakXTearX!11” he said. I ran onstage. Lucian, Samaro, Snap
and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.
“Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111” I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix
2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Amy Lee and a gurl version of Gerard
Woy. Everyone clappd. Satan got an eructation. “I’M NUT OKAY!1” I sang finaly. Suddenly
Lucian started playing da song wrong by mistak.
“OMFG!1” yielded James. “Wut the fuck?”
“Woops im sory!” said Lucian.
“You fuking ashhole!1” James shouted angrily.
“U guys are such prepz!11” Snap said. “Cum on it wuz a mistake!1”
“Yah itz not his fault!11” said Serious.
“No he ruined the fucking song!1” yelled Samaro.
“U guys stop!11” I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly
Samaro took out hiz nife.
“OMFG no!11” shouted Lucan but it wuz 2 late James tried 2 shoot off his arm.
And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11
“No!111” yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.
And now... Presenting: The Troll Chapter
Chapter 39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz
Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.
AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this
girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably
get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now.
And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished
reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever
you want "preps."
I, the American retail wearing british vampire Sue, coughed up blood.
Satan kneeled down beside me.
"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"
I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as
the noble gothic Mary Sue."
Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."
"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings
fading to black.
B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when
she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she
screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore,
Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.
Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body
started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.
When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body,
but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.
A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.
A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone
cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.
All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the
hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear
in canon appeared on their bodies.
When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered.
Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP
characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.
All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold
and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the
battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.
And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione
fled the scene and got married.
Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that
would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.
She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.
She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself
in confusion.
And then it occured to her...
For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or
left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the
"destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose
at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag
with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.
Ebony supressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme
wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.
Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there
was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she
saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American
Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again
another polo to replace it.
"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed
to see the irony in her statement, how hypocrytical her words were, seeing as she was practically
calling the kettle black here.
Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."
/End Crap Fic.
AN// Oh yeah, if you wanna see the original content this chick had planned for this chapter,
I accessed it through the document manager thingy, which I copied and pasted, so you
can read it here:
And... I'll get to that part in the next episode.
An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P
A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.
So.... only 5 more chapters left.... just 5 more god forsaken chapters left.... Now
many of you have wanted to know....will I be doing another episode hwere I get waster?
Short answer? Yes. It will be soon, dont worry. Also, expect a recap episode where I summarize
the events of the story so far coming soon.
You might also be wondering about what I'll be doing for my next episode of Fucked Up
Fanfics... While I have recieved a few sugestions lately... I think it's time we revisit an
old friend of ours... Next time you tune in to Fucked Up Fanfics, we'll be reading a story
that is such a wretched filthy pit of unholy disgusting furry sex, that simply hearing
it's title will cause you to burst into flames and pour vomit out of every orfice. The one
story that I think is worse than My Immortal... And... it's verifiably NOT a troll fic...
We'll be reading.... Sonic in Search for Love.