JourneyQuest - Episode 1: Onward


Uploaded by ZombieOrpheusEnt on 27.09.2010

Transcript:
Bard?
Bard. Bardic immunity?
No?
Potato!
Camel!
???
What is the word?
Bard!
Bard!
Bard.
>Tongues<
-- also protects our bards,
keeping the humies and pucks from killing them.
Hi, there!
Hi.
Yes, I am a bard,
and... and... I am...
...researching an epic.
Grellnock Skullsplitter. Two L's.
Yart Flays-Children.
Just like it sounds.
Can you tell me what happened here?
Will this go in the epic?
It might, yeah.
It all started with the wizard's duel.
Wizard's duel. That's good stuff! How'd that happen?
The elfmaid was all into our shaman.
Making eyes at him and giving him the signals. You know.
Yet stoutly did he resist her whorish advances.
What?
And the wizard got all incensed.
And he challenged him right there.
To the death! did he bellow.
Yet does it echo in mine ears.
Perf did that? The Yellow Robe?
Uh... his clan's honor questioned, the shaman accepted the challenge.
Then the skies darkened with the might of their arcane skill.
No, they didn't.
But Kurn,
that's our shaman,
he cast him down with a volley of lightning!
And then the elfmaid was all like, Take me now, you green-skinned love stallion!
And then, shamed by defeat, the wizard bellowed,
"Die in the wrathful flames of my...
...wrath!"
And then he sent a vast army of...
- of... murder... elementals. - Murder elementals!
And... and... and they kept coming on and on in vast waves of...
...murderness!
And we beat them all with our...
...fists! And they disappear when they die, by the way, which is why you can't see them.
It's bad luck to lie to a bard, you know.
Your party went that way. Towards the river, near as I can tell.
What actually happened?
What actually happened ~ two days ago ~
There, now! Hold still! Don't resist! There's a good lad! Let the encouragement sink in!
Hey!
Is he gone?
Bad idea.
Come on. Let's go save our wizard.
Onward
I am honor!
Why, Superfluous! You wouldn't be attempting to abandon our quest, now would you?
No! No, no... no, no. I was... scouting.
You know, bush-blazing, trail-whacking...
Seems to me that you're in need of a little more encouragement.
No, no, no. Sod. No, not encouragement! Mercy?
Mercy?
- Mercy? - Mercy.
Oh, Perf
I'm far too brave to grant you mercy.
- What? - Now, don't resist!
Let the encouragement sink in!
That's enough. He's learned his lesson.
Yet again.
Onward!
Nara!
Hey.
Glorion and I were just discussing quest tactics, you know, strategies and such.
You're bleeding.
Or so it would appear.
You know, I'm working on a new spell.
You'd probably like it.
Black Robe stuff.
Okay, maybe Blue, but still very advanced.
There it is. We found it!
The Temple of All Dooms.
And somewhere inside, my sword.
- Onward! - Always with the shouting.
Let me try that again.
- Still rolling. - Still rolling. Everybody back to one.
Why do you tease me?
Focus.