Malviviendo 1x09 - Cicatrices

Uploaded by malviviendo on 20.02.2010

Previously on Malviviendo...
Look at me. I said look at me.
At ease, Sargeant.
I've been waiting ages for this, motherfucker.
Get that look off your face. It's not a time to smile.
Look for energy to run. Look for a skateboard or a moped.
Look for an exit, or a nice thought to concentrate on.
Look for a reason. Explain why you live 2,000 km from home, but do nothing.
Look for the back door. Look for a reason to leave uni.
Look for funded training.
Look for...
Look for a way to quit smoking.
Look for an isotonic drink.
Look for the reason you were running.
Look for a telephone.
You need to have something.
Ok, a glass of water please.
A light too please.
- Hello, Scorpion? - Who the fuck are you?
Who is it that's brave enough to phone during my fucking siesta?
- I'm calling for Khaki. - Are you taking the piss, dickhead?
If you are, then man the fuck up and tell me.
- For Miguel Jerez, A.K.A Khaki. - Ok, sorry. Do you have pen and paper?
Yes. Do you have a pen please?
Ok, go ahead.
Ok, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
What a mess. I was stressed.
I had to smoke a really big one to prepare for what was coming.
So I went home before looking for help.
I needed to relax, to think, to clear my head...
..and draw up a plan.
This is from when I was in Tibet.
I met the druid monks there, that live in the hills.
They really control the earth's forces and the universe's energy... from there.
That was where I met my first master, the real master...
..who taught me the most, Pongolle the first.
He spoke to me about Olalla, the sacred grass from Jamba.
Jamba, Olalla de Jamba.
This grass... it grows in some places that are impossible to get to.
Only four monks are sacred enough to go up the mountain.
To go to the very top. Of course, I had to get some of that weed.
But it's a difficult place to get to. So I tried to blend in to the area...
..the plants, rocks, air and wind.
I learned a lot, I studied... ..I meditated.
I listened to the world.
I had to use my skill, intelligence and wisdom to the maximum.
I ran so fast with the monk's bag of grass.
He wanted to kill me...
I still have a bit left.
So, I'll give it to you...
..for when you feel bad, a difficult time when you need an answer.
Then you can use it. Don't just smoke it when you get home.
This gear is really hard. It's like sucking on Buddha's scrotum.
Not one of those souvenirs you buy. The one in the mountains with huge balls.
That's who's scrotum you're sucking. So take care and use it well.
- Dad! - You idiot.
What are you dressed up as? What do you do?
I work all day for a dumb kid like you? Pull your trousers up! Aren't you ashamed?
- Pull them up we're going home. - Dad it's 2,000 km away, over the sea.
2,000 km? Don't argue with me in public! Get in the car!
Stupid piece of shit.
It really was special. I'd been out for 12 hours.
I was more relaxed, and things were clearer.
However, they might have already buried Khaki.
So I left my house quickly.
That's not a house, it's a piece of shit.
So I had to say, I don't gossip much. This is a serious hairdressers.
We don't keep gossip magazines.
We've got the New Scientist and QI, so people can learn, so they can learn.
The only gossip stuff we have is Hello, which is about kings and princesses...
..and not just a bunch of idiots. We can find them in the park, right?
Here? It has a horrible reputation.
If people ask me on that internet thing, I say I'm from another part of town
Otherwise they think I'm a lowlife.
Culture, education and respect, that's what we need here.
You know what's to blame?
Don't you know? Drugs, darling, drugs.
They arrived in the 80's, and they've stayed.
I thought when the junkies died it would finish.
I was wrong.
You just need to go to the park to see the fucking kids dealing,
creating a rotten generation.
Well I say that it's like a dog eating it's own tail
You're so right, you express it so well.
Thanks. It's because I'm cultured, honey.
I read interesting stuff... documentaries and investigative programs.
I read about what I said when I was on the toilet.
I just used my own words so you'd understand.
It's good to be wise.
- Oh, he's busy. - Hello, Negro.
- I'm finished, right? - Of course, off you go.
Look after yourself.
- Ok, bye. - See you later.
You see? A real man.
A proper gentleman, right?
Guys like him will save the neighbourhood.
Look at him, he's responsible, a student, sporty...
He makes his money giving out leaflets.
The problem is his friends, did you notice?
But there's no choice here.
Of course, Maria. Your brother is a darling.
The Mule? Hang on, I need to leave some hash here for Loli.
- The Mule? - Yeah man, Mule in a wheelchair.
Wait, I'll tell you the story.
Get to the point, man, you always complicate stories.
I called, and there was this weird voice.
And he said to go... this address.
Catania 25? It's isn't close, well I haven't heard of it anyway.
- What should we do? - Khaki gave me it, we should go.
Listen, this all seems weird.
Are we in a detective novel or something?
I don't know, a kidnapping, a note, a phone call, an address...
..what film's this, The Game? Come on.
Maybe we'll find out it's Hostel?
I hope we're not mixed up with the Russian mafia. Those people...
Have you been renting films, or what?
No, Sentry owes me money and he gave me a one terabyte hard disk as insurance.
But a terabyte is millions of gigabytes. It must have at least 200 films.
And they're all great films.
He chose the films one by one. He's a great guy.
He says he made it just for me.
And he got it bang on. He's a...
..he's a cinephile.
Look, Citizen Kane...
..about a serial killer who uses hammers. Kane, cane, hammer, almost the same.
Then there's The Sound of Music.
It's a prequel to City of God and Dead Poet's Society, but that's obvious.
- Zombie films, right? - Of course. Look!
An Officer and a Gentleman!
It's about a kid who starts as a dealer and ends up running the whole city.
A bit like you.
Talking about Sentry...
Yo, yo, yo, what are you doing here guys?
Dude, these are my brothers, my brothers!
- We saw you yesterday, man. - Not yesterday, today.
Look, he's wasted. You bought nothing from me!
First, I can't trust you any more, second, it's the only cure for narcolepsy.
Narcolepsy? It looks more like sleep deprivation.
What do you guys want?
Not your cheap ketamine. What are you...
Hi, handsome.
Have you got a line for me?
I don't have that stuff, I...
Neither do I.
Was she too pretty for you?
She was too expensive, the bitch.
Dude, you're falling asleep. What do you want?
- L - What L? Some M, some speed...?
Some M.
We're going. Are you coming?
- Yeah, let's go. - Do you know where or why?
To 25 Catania Street, let's go.
Aren't you an exotic bitch?
Is the Sargeant going inter-racial these days?
You talk a lot. Shut up!
I'll tell you something, son of a bitch...
I said shut up!
Come out with me, come on.
You're doing well, a good right hand, and you're scary.
- But fucking finish it. - You want me to kill him?
That would cause me problems.
Look for someone else.
Me? I'd like to.
If I could I'd fuck him up, then slowly cut him up with nail clippers.
But I'm just not a killer. I'm a good man, very catholic...
..the lord punishes me for things like that. I won't do it, Mule.
So why do I pay you?
I can stay a while.
Hitting him really hard.
Eight hours a day, five days a week.
I want a contract.
He's called Dogmeat.
Buy the best tissues in Spain!
His story is unique.
With Joaquin Moruno in prison, Mule lost his personal thug.
But then Clam remembered this guy that he met a few months before...
..and had proved to be really tough.
They're great, here you go.
Kid! Darky! Come here, man.
Hello. The best tissues in Spain!
How much, Will Smith?
One euro, just one euro. I need to party today, give me a euro.
Holy fuck, what a rip-off!
Are they Indian silk? They should be.
Have you got cash, mate?
Go, Joaquin. It's green, quick go.
The fuckers robbed me. The bastards...
Go fuck yourself!
Did you see his face, man?
Like Michael Jordan's bum freckle.
So fucking funny.
So anyway, as I was saying...
..I went to Madrid...
..and I got to this bar, wasted...
..and I asked for a "serranito." He didn't have a clue what it was!
No way.
- I can't believe it. - Honestly!
So I said, You don't know what a serranito is?
Were you raised in a basement?
It's the best sandwich there is.
They don't have them in the north, and they don't fry cuttlefish either.
- It's crazy, isn't it! - They're weird up North.
I love Serrano ham, shrimp and red wine...
..with lemonade, right?
Of course, so I said: come here, I'm going to do you a favour.
I'll explain how to make a great serranito.
A slice of pork loin, some Serrano ham and some green pepper on bread.
And don't forget some alioli!
That's your treasure right there.
Do you know what he said? We make that here too, buddy.
Do you know what they call serranitos in Madrid?
- Don't they call them serranitos? - No way.
Pork loin sandwich with Serrano ham and pepper - it's fucking crazy.
Pork loin sandwich with Serrano ham and pepper?
Shit. People from Madrid are so strange!
So what do they call beer?
Wait, I haven't finished.
Then he said: Madrid also has a treasure, buddy.
Do you know what it is?
A squid sandwich!
Squid? That's disgusting, man.
- Do you know the worst thing? - What?
Where the fuck do they get squid from in Madrid?
Madrid's in the centre of Spain. They have no sea, no beach...
..and nobody notices!
And nobody's suspicious!
It's as if gnu burgers or marinated yak were famous in Cadiz.
I'm going to stop. I need a piss.
- Park over there then, and be quick. - Of course. I'll be quick.
No! Don't!
No, please don't!
I'm going to fucking kill you!
I'll kill you.
How are you? Are you ok? Clam! Are you alright?
Are you ok, Clam? Are you alright, man?
I'll kill you! You fucker.
Don't fuck with me!
He agreed to work for Mule for a healthy sum.
I expected an old abandoned boat...
..a black metal door in an alley, or the house from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Life is full of surprises.
Are you sure this is it?
Sure? Are we going to a tupperware party?
Not tupperware, speed, right?
Hi, can I help with something?
- Yes, we're looking for Scorpion. - That's me.
It was you who called before, wasn't it.
- Yes - Your voice is beautiful...'s like a narrator's.
Come in.
Here's a nice hot chocolate for you, just how my mum used to make it.
I knew Jerez a very long time ago, when I was in the army with him.
You were in the army, Scorpion?
Call me Juanmi.
We were in the army for... eight years. It was... a good time.
The truth is that we killed a lot of enemies in Bosnia.
Then, when we returned to Spain, I killed four of my companions.
But that was a long time ago.
Would you like a biscuit?
Are you being serious?
I'm always serious, always.
It's a lovely story.
I was always a very nervous kid.
I was easily angered, and I was fairly violent.
My parents thought the discipline of the army would change me.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is, that a little bastard like me...
..shouldn't be put in the army.
Of course, what they teach you is how to use weapons...
..and how to destroy your enemy. It was silly.
This guy who seems so nice is corporal Vega.
A brave but irrational soldier.
Everybody knew not to trust him, but him and Khaki always got on well.
A team of three guys was quickly formed.
The dangerous Corporal Vega, A.K.A Scorpion...
..the invincible boxer, Jerez, and Aguilar, who was nothing special...
..but he was always with them and seemed tough.
I'll Kill you all!
Fuck! Lopez is hit! They got him!
I'll miss him.
Fucking bastards.
I got ten just now. Ten.
His blood is my fuel, and my tank's fucking full!
Corporal, you are firing blanks.
This is just training, and you'll see Lopez after we finish the excercise.
That's why you aren't shooting!
That's embarassing, this is a war!
And we are soldiers!
Give me that!
I'll kill you all!
I got 17, man! I killed 17!
Corporal, it's a recreation, not a war. We aren't actually in a fucking war!
Speak for yourself, bitch.
You need to do things right. We're soldiers and they're enemies!
They're enemies! You've never been to the front... don't know what a war is.
You're pussies, shitty pussies.
All we have is kids with guns who wouldn't last a second out there, not soldiers!
Playing tennis is more dangerous than training excercises with Romero.
We need some fucking action! This is shit!
Look, fuck Sargeant Romero and his shiny head.
But listen to me, the guy is great at military strategy...
..and he's been in the army for ages.
But who can take this seriously? It's like a school play-area with bangers.
Vega, can't you see?
He's got more balls than you will ever have in your life, you pussy.
Corporal, do you really take it seriously?
For fuck's sake!
Aguilar! Aguilar!
This is a war, and they are our enemies. We are soldiers!
They want to kill us, rape our women and take all our stuff!
I'm the corporal! Corporal Vega.
I'm Corporal Vega and my friend Jerez will cover me when I go out... nothing happens to me.
And you're the bitch who's going to hide, you hide, and after you'll get a medal.
Easy, easy.
That was fantastic, mate.
Here, take my rifle!
Fuck rifles! I'm a knife man. I'll cut their fucking necks!
Jerez, this is my number.
If we get out alive we can drink and fight again! Do you get it?
Otherwise we'll meet again in hell.
Understand this! Understand it!
Scorpion, stop fucking around.
I'll Kill you all, motherfuckers!
Corporal! It's an excercise, it's pretend!
Son of a bitch!
That knife isn't pretend like the guns.
I'll kill you, motherfucker!
Fuck! He slit Bermejo's throat!
And Garcia too!
That guy's completely nuts!
Obviously Corporal Vega was charged and committed to a psychiatric centre.
The group of three was broken, and their paths diverged.
Khaki began fighting for money, and Aguilar became a chef.
I spent six months in the psychiatric ward and eventually re-integrated into society.
Then... I came here with my sister, and... I looked for another job.
- Where's your sister. - I killed her.
Yeah. I killed her.
I gave her some shellfish and she had a reaction.
Who would have thought that, aged 34, she would be eating her first prawn.
So what do you do now, Juanmi?
I bake.
Baking is another of my passions, like violence - which I have given up.
I actually baked the biscuits you are eating with my own hands.
Well I'd say you're good.
Thanks a lot, kid. Thank you.
I love experimenting and trying new fusions. I love Ferran Adria.
I think he's fantastic.
You could write a book on deserts.
A bit salty, right? What's the secret ingredient?
Urine. Just simple piss.
Oh, but it's healthy, it's mine.
It's my piss. That's to say...
..I like to be... well, things...
..I'd say... experimental.
That's to say... I'm best at cheesecakes and biscuits with bodily fluids in.
It's very revolutionary. Nothing to worry about, just innovative.
They're soaked in... Oh, shit.
Can you move that way, please.
I get small outbursts from the medicine.
Fuck you, motherfuckers. I'll kill you.
You pieces of shit. Fuck your fucking families.
What the fuck do you want to ask? Fuckers!
I think it's the medication, they didn't quite get the subject...
Sorry, I think the medicine isn't very...
What's wrong with Jerez?
We told him Khaki's story.
That they had him and we wanted to help.
Scorpion said he'd changed.
No way, guys. I've changed, really.
I could bake you some grapefruit tarts.
I make really nice ones.
Or do some needlework on a cushion.
I can hand-stitch patterns, or embroider your names.
If you want? But I don't...
What if we use your violent outbursts?
Yeah, sure, they could be useful, but I'm not ready to...
No. The truth is that I can't.
I'm sorry.
Do you have a number for Aguilar?
For that loser?
Come on, are you sure you want it?
He made a call to get Aguilar's number.
We needed help from someone like Khaki.
There was no other choice.
Are you going to leave the last biscuit?
Are you? Eat it!
Oh, sure.
Just to make me happy.
Come on. Chew them, so that I can see it.
What now? We don't have Scorpion, we don't have a plan...
..we don't know where Khaki is, if he's alive, our mouths taste of shit.
I can guess where he is. Those guys are predictable.
We left knowing we'd wasted half a day.
Undoubtedly Scorpion, I mean Juanmi, is a total lunatic.
Perhaps you could trust him before...
..but the Scorpion we met was not the same person that Khaki knew.
Even if Aguilar is bad, we had his number and it's good to have a scapegoat.
Hey, kid. This is so sick it's actually funny.
You don't play basketball or football, you aren't a sprinter... don't breakdance, you don't even have a job...
..but you do beat the shit out of a disabled guy?
I bet you Eddie Murphy is turning in his fucking grave right now.
Dogmeat not accepting orders from anyone, he owns himself.
Dogmeat is brave strong gangster.
Between you and me, Dogmeat is the worst nickname I ever heard in my life.
I already fucked you up once, and I can do it again, be careful.
Listen, Dogdick! You got me from behind when Joaquin Moruno wasn't there.
That's what a pussy would do.
You're a pussy, you're face is a pussy, hitting a cripple is being a pussy.
You're a pussy calling hookers to suck your boss off. Ok!
Listen I didn't call anyone, it will have been him or you. Get it?
- Shut up, bitch. - Piece of shit.
It was actually us who called her.
Very professional.
It still works, see?
So now, you can tell everyone.
Of course, stud.
That wasn't the first time a hooker friend gave us a hand.
It's a practical friendship.
Like a computer nerd, electrician or doctor.
We knew Mule was one of her regulars.
She was our only way to find out the layout inside.
I can smell the bitch from here.
Two in the gym, two on the door, and one in the toilet - not many.
You did a great job, Mamen.
And Mute Paco.
Our first obstacle: a well known look-out man.
Known because he started as a kid... ..because he sees everything.
In the morning he works in one of the oldest trades around...
But especially well known because he's a deaf-mute...
..and his career is clearly a bizzare choice.
Paco! Fancy seeing you here.
You'll help me out, right? Tell me, is your boss in?
He's not here, or you won't say?
He's not here? Where is he then?
Come on, do your hand thing. Tell me!
Where is your chief? Where is your chief? Chief...
He's not here, I get it.
No way. What, he's with a hooker?
But with Veronica or Mamen?
You don't know. Did he go that way?
That way... with a ball?
Wait, with other people? He was running a marathon...
What the fuck is this?
Milking cows?
Are you winding me up? See this Paco? Well this is for you...
..and your boss will get this.
Take care, kid, get well soon.
We'll need to distract the mute.
These biscuits are amazing, the guy's an artist.
- I hope he adopts me. - I already ate, thanks.
Dude, he makes them with his own fluids, he uses human excretions, man juice.
- What? - He uses his fluids to make the biscuits.
What fluids?
He cums, shits and pisses in the biscuits. I mean you're eating his shit right now.
What a fucker. So I've basically licked his toilet?
Disgusting! You're sick, Sentry.
Is that him?
Are you Aguilar?
Is it hot in hell?
Hello, you are new in the neighbourhood, aren't you?
No, I'm from very far away...
..I'm from the East of Seville.
But these slums fill me with passion, I feel at home.
The rubbish on these streets reminds me of my harsh childhood...
Ok Aguilar, I'll explain.
Excuse me, little lady.
I'll excuse your foreskin after you put it in, stud.
What? You...
Let's go.
Do you see the guy at the door?
Ok, so Khaki is inside that garage, with a few nasty guys.
Your mission is to take them out.
To take them out?
I'll need firearms and ammunition.
Well you could just knock them out, so a stick would work.
Well, it seems a bit primitive, but... ..I guess if you guys are sure...
It's all under control, man. Anyway, you look strong.
You're tough, man. Go and get them.
Nothing was under control.
We only knew Khaki was in the garage with the mute on look-out.
Our only hope was that Aguilar was the warrior he seemed.
Shut up, how can wrestling be fake?
The stadiums are full of people!
Dude, it's a theatre.
Just Like gameshows, archeological programs, the Premier League...
The Premier League?
Dude, the English league... the biggest lie in the world, the biggest theatre.
It's all fixed, winners, losers, scorers...
..all to control gambling.
It's obvious. Why do they score so many goals?
The best players there play shit in Spain?
Like Luis Garcia, Thiery Henry... erm...
- Who else? - McManaman.
- McManaman. - Yeah, man.
I don't know if it's the biscuits, or the rave, but it makes sense.
- I'm ready. - Well I needed another 20 minutes!
It was time for our improvised semi-plan.
To distract the mute whistling wouldn't work... we used a random object...
..which did the job.
Then we put Aguilar at the door and knocked.
I said it was an improvised semi-plan.
What? Who the fuck are you?
I'm the director of all your nightmares.
- Sweet! That sounds like a broken nose. - At least.
- What a kicking. - Holy shit.
Useless fucking George Michael lookalike! Let's go.
There I was, with a stick in my hand fighting with armed killers.
On a Sunday afternoon.
I knew I might get stabbed, and lose an organ...
I knew this wasn't the right path, even if it seemed comfy to begin with.
I knew that, at that point, my life wasn't worth shit.