Padal Proshlogodnij Sneg, w/ English subtitles (pt 1)

Studio "Ekran"
Under Yesteryear's Snowfall
(subtitles by AxmxZ)
One can't say precisely when,
but a good long time ago,
back in the Plasticine era,
in a rather clayey locality...
Drat. I wanted to tell you about that pike.
You know, it seems to me this story has a mind of its own:
sometimes things gel,
other times, they fall apart.
Here we go: once upon a time
two nice young things met each other...
Dang, now they're gone too.
Ok, fine. Let's take the miller.
Once, this miller got it into his head to...
Man, the things I could tell you about him!
Or how about this:
"Chained to the wall for all eternity, a mug..."
You know what, let's not go into that.
Uh... So, this one gentleman
really, really liked watermelons.
Remind me to tell you about him tomorrow,
okay?
Wait...
Shh, quiet...
That was all just a prologue.
There!
There's the guy I'll be telling you about.
Well-drawn, well-modeled
Spitting image of a young me, in fact.
Hey, where's he going?
I was going to tell a story about him.
I'd have made him a czar!
Way to ruin my mood, jerk.
Nothing around but dogs, bones, these mugs…
What, now the mug is gone?
This fairy tale stinks...
Ah, there he is!
Anyway, as I was saying.
A long long time ago,
in a clayey place far away...
Wait, just don't disappear on me again, okay?
There once lived
an eagle of a gent.
I don't get it.
Although he did have trouble pronouncing certain letters and numbers.
And as for being a hard worker...
...yeah, exactly.
He was definitely way more into slacking.
Luckily his wife was made of sterner stuff
and kept a tight grip on things.
One day close to New Year,
she kicked him out of the house.
Anyway, she sent him out to get a holiday tree.
Yeah, she sent me pretty hard.
'Cause, she says, who celebrates New Year's
without a nice little tree? Hmm?
What's with all the climbing?
And the measuring, and the re-measuring?
They sent you out for a tree - get chopping!
Not enough, you know? Not big enough.
Oh, well, that's a different matter.
Here you go, then: a high-rise of a pine.
Princess of the forest.
Look at him creep...
What are you up to now?
Ssh... Shut it!
Do you see the beast or no?
Man, when I catch him...
Keep dreaming.
Heck of a beast!
Fur!
Meat!
I'll fry him up into cracklings!
No, on second thought I better take him to the fair.
Lots of suckers at the fair,
and not too many bunnies, I bet.
Bunny for sale!
A bunny!
A runny-bunny!
I said, who wants a bunny?
Catch of the day!
Say what you want, but that ain't enough.
Still not enough.
If I'm such a big-time merchant now,
why should I stay with my beanpole wife?
There's just not enough there!
Allow me to present:
my much better half!
And with a queen like that
you'll need a castle to match
This okay?
Maybe a bit bigger?
No, even this big!
Not enough, I said!
Not enough at all.
What about this capital construction
would that please you?
Or this 'home sweet home'?
Hold it, hold it, back up - no good.
I'll bang out a something-else kind of house!
Steady...
Solid...
Splendid.
And so what if I *am* a bit greedy?
At least I'm honest about it.
Now that's a house!
Big ol' house!
You know what this fountain makes me think of?
Peerage.
Us lords are a hard-working folk.
That's just our lordly lot in life.
Not big enough!
There, that's more my size.
Listen, Oakefeller,
you didn't forget about the holiday tree, did you?
When an acorn is ripe,
any pig will scarf it down.
Pigs like that, they make a man feel like...
I could even be a write-in candidate for czar!
Yes!
Hey! Hey, all of you!
Who is last in line to be czar here?
No one?
Then I'll be First!
Now I want a whatchamacallit -
a carriage!
What a palace!
What a sight!
With all the swans, and the trophies!
Oh, how I love and esteem all these assets!
As soon as I get into the czaring business,
then first of all…
First of all, what comes first of all?
Oh yeah, a piana!
'Cause what sort of a life is it
without a piana?
Also, feasts. I will hold feasts.
Not enough.
Pile the spread higher!
Someone's about to lower your spirits.
I hope you crash and burn!
Well, this is dull.
Yesterday I'm a czar, today I'm a czar…
Every day, I'm just a czar.
It's not enough.
Come to think about it,
I'm kind of not-enoughy myself.
Not enough!
NOT ENOU-
Wait, stop, be sensible!
Stop growing already, you'll burst!
Not enough!
It's not enough!
NOT ENOUGH!
What's the matter, bud?
Knocked some sense into yourself?
Bunny, wait!
Don't leave!
Come back!
No tree, no rabbit - nothing.
And no matches either - you lost them last spring, remember?
Eh-heh-heh, dang ol' piana...