DailyGrace LIVE! - 7/12/12 (Full Ep)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 12.07.2012

Transcript:

GRACE HELBIG: None of this can be changed!

Hello, cheeseheads.com.
Daily Grace here from My Damn Channel Live.
And look, I'm back in New York City in the My
Damn Channel studios.
It's amazing.
But let me tell you, New York City itself still smells like
shit and [INAUDIBLE].
Wee-oo-wee-oo-wee.
Let's party!
Let's start off today's episode with MFCFLMS, my
favorite comment from last Monday's show.
What do we got?
It's from Google Toolbar.
It says, "Too much talking.
I can't fap to this.
Sad face emoticon."
Well, Google Toolbar, I'm very, very sorry that that
happened to you and that you experienced that.
Can you fap to this?

Can you fap to that?
Can you?
Can you fap to this?
Can you fap?
Are you fappin' this?
Can you fap to this?

You fappin'?
OK, I hope this is making your day better.
He's going to stay here with us.
This is Krister Johnson, head writer for My
Damn Channel Live.
What a guy--
fap, fap, fap.
Speaking of throwing to a video, let's
do that right now.

STEVE: Guys, I got it.
I got it.
Let's just put this online.
People will love it.
This cat loves cheeseburgers.

MALE SPEAKER 1: Everyone knows that you do blow in the
bathroom, Steve.
Just call it a day.

DAILY GRACE: Whoa, cool video.
Hey, guys, listen.
Since I'm back in the Big Apple, I thought I would do
some very New Yorky things that I've missed over the past
month, like, eat a soft pretzel from a street vendor.
Thank you, mystery hand.
Mmm.
I don't like this.
I don't want it.
What about maybe go to Times Square, right?
That's a New Yorky thing.
What it like outside?
MALE SPEAKER 2: It's like 93 and humid.
GRACE HELBIG: 90 degrees and humid.
I don't like that.
I don't want to go to-- oh my god, I just got mugged!
So New York.
You get it.
You're smart.
Watch this.

[ALARM RINGING]
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Looks like you're using the wrong home
security system.
Let's see what happens if you use our system.
MALE SPEAKER 3: Hey!
Who's down there?
I'm upstairs, taking a shit.
[BATHROOM SOUNDS]
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: With the Hey!
I'm Upstairs Taking a Shit home security system, no
burglar would dare to enter your home.
MALE SPEAKER 3: You're in big trouble [FART]
after I [FART]
clean myself up.
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: When our sensors detect the slightest
of movements, they immediately turn on the bathroom light
upstairs and activate the alarm.
MALE SPEAKER 3: Just you wait!
I'm coming to get you!
Right after I finish taking a shit!
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Our system will even alert the proper
authorities of a break in.
FEMALE SPEAKER 2: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
MALE SPEAKER 3: Yeah, someone's breaking in here.
I'd do something about it, but I'm stuck on the
pot, taking a shit.
FEMALE SPEAKER 2: Ew.
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: And if you're just a house full of
ladies, don't worry.
MALE SPEAKER 3: Hey!
I'm upstairs, having a period.
I'm putting that thing in my--
what's that thing ladies use all the time for this?
You know what, I'm just taking a shit!
I'm a lady, though!
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Call right now and get the Hey!
I'm Upstairs Taking a Shot home security system.
[GLASS BREAKING]
MALE SPEAKER 3: I'm upstairs, taking a--
[BATHROOM SOUNDS]
Dammit!
[MOANING]
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: And you'll never have to worry again.
It works because people are disgusted by shit.

GRACE HELBIG: New York City, right?
Hey guys, now it's time to answer some of your questions
from Twitter and Tumblr.
I tweeted at you with the hashtag #mydamnchannellive to
answer your questions.
And I posted on my Tumblr, gracehelbig.tumblr.com for
some of your questions.
So let's start answering them.
I think we're going to take a Twitter question first.
Shall we?
What do we have?
OK, from @LauraWks, "What do your little
signature pictures mean?
The orange, bottle, skull & cloud car (?) on YouTube &
shirts!"
No idea!
There's this amazing street graffiti artist named Tony
Bones who I know through a friend and I reached out to
him and I said, hey, cool guy that I've never met, I need
some icons for this YouTube thing I'm doing.
Can you create some things, whatever
comes out of your brain?
And then he created all those little icons.
And I love each and every one of them so, so deeply.
Let's take Tumblr question, shall we?
This is from miscellaneousphillip.
"Are you able to beatbox?" Yes, uh-huh.
Yes, I am.
Here's a box.
Watch this.

I just beat the shit out of this box.
[LAUGHS]
Let's take another question, shall we?
What do we have?
This is from derekzane.
"What feels better?
Pooping, sneezing, or stretching?"
That is a real tough question to answer.
Have you ever done all three at the same time?
The trifecta, some might call it--
the father, son, and the holy spirit.
You reach enlightenment.
I'll just say that.
OK, let's take a comment from YouTube, how about we?
This is from lewlewbelle.
Lewlewbelle, what a cute little name.
"how are you going to pass the time until Mockingjay part 2
comes out in November 2015?
(yes, it's really
that far away)" What?
Is that serious?
That that comes out in 2015, really?
Everyone in the studio's shrugging their arms.
Someone find this out for sure.
2015, what, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm going to have to spend some time fabbing, I guess.
I don't know.
It's going to be a really rough two--
why is it?
Ah, mm, ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh!
Let's take another question, shall we, from Twitter.
From @RachaeLouise--
"Would you rather never have french fries again or never
have a bloody mary again?" Why do you guys make me think
about the hardest things in life?
Never have French fries or never have a Bloody Mary?
[GROANS]
I think I would have to do never have French fries.
Oh no.
This is like, you know that movie The Good Son with
Macaulay Culkin.
And at the end the mom has two sons dangling off a cliff and
she has to decide which one is really the good son and
Macaulay Culkin--
spoiler alert--
is evil, so she lets him fall off the cliff?
I watched that when I was in like fifth grade.
That really affected me, and I feel like
that's what's happening.
I'm the mom right now.
And you know what?
I'm going to have to let French fries go.
And if you think about it, Macaulay Culkin and French
fries are kind of like the same exact thing, right--
really greasy, something like that.
Let's take a Twitter question.
This is @Bryanbubbly.
"Who is your favorite music artist at the moment?" I'll
give you a hint.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah.
I can't stop.
I can't stop.
Please, someone help me.
I'm going to take another comment or question.
What do we have?
From findelensar, "I want one of those mystery hand!!!
Gimme me a cheeseburger now!" You are all demand, demand,
demand, demand, demand.
Well, you can't have da-man unless you stop demanding
things from us.
Think about it.
Put that on a bumper sticker and whatever.
Let's take another comment, shall we?
From TimothyMably, "I know you love Avengers, did you see
Spider-Man yet/what'd you think?" I did not see
Spider-Man yet.
However, however, I have seen the photos of Andrew
Garfunkel--
Garfinkle--
his butt in that Spandex.
This should be a new genre of nerdism.
There's got to be Tumblr dedicated to
Spandex butts, right--
Sputts, Sputts, nerdy Sputts.
There we go, I just started Tumblr of all of you guys.
Let's take a Tumblr question, speaking of.
From deepdroid, "Why are you dressed up in a
picnic blanket Grace!
sends over clothes." You want to see something funny about
my picnic blanket that I'm wearing?
[LAUGHS]
Spoiler alert!
The beauty of television--
internet TV is everything you never think it is.
Surprise!
Well, that's all the time we have today's show.
It always goes so, so fast.
But please, do not forget to subscribe to My Damn Channel.
And follow me every other day of week on
mydamnchannel.com/dailygrace.
Until next time, tell Beth I said hello.
Now I'm going to continue to be super New Yorky, and ride
the subway home.
Ugh!
Ding!
[DINGS]
My clothespins popped!