Shephard's Mind Episode 3


Uploaded by KrimsinYT on 06.05.2009

Transcript:
Okay, now how do we get this thing to-oh? no controls or anything.
You know, if worse comes to worst, I guess I can just hop into one of their secret labs, and steal an alien spaceship.
Wouldn't even have to find the transit system. I could just jump to hyperspace, and then get the fuck out of here.
Wouldn't even have to find the transit system. I could just jump to hyperspace, and then get the fuck out of here.
What the?... (sigh) Look, you know what? I don't care, I don't even care. Just don't touch me.
Get the fuck away from me, I just...don't. Fucking aliens.
Actually, you know what? You fucking aliens die, right now.
Actually, maybe that wasn't an alien. Maybe it was just an animal I've never heard of.
It's been here long enough to stick itself to the ceiling. I mean, I didn't know what an echidna was until, like, last month.
Boom! What a shot! I love this laser sight.
Splattered your brains all over the back of... He-he-hey! I call shotgun!
Don't worry, soldier. I'll carry on your work.
This Desert Eagle makes everything so easy. It's just, like, point and bang.
These aliens aren't really making an attempt to dodge, or take cover.
You know, if I did commandeer an alien spaceship, air traffic control would probably get pissed at me.
Especially since it matches the description of the spaceships that attacked our Ospreys.
I wonder who was flying those spaceships. I wonder if they're aware that they may have started an intergalactic war.
Oh, shit, maybe they did start an intergalactic war! Maybe this is happening all over Earth, right now!
Okay, I think I'm starting to see why that first alien got a knife in its back.
Oh, look at that, the elevator's coming down to meet me!
Oh, dammit.
Okay, that's it! I'm gonna beat the shit out of you...with bullets!
I can't...I guess they just call it from the top.
Okay. That looks distinctly like radioactive waste.
I could easily jump this, but I'm kinda worried about that platform on the other side. It looks kinda bent.
I'm afraid this if I jump on it, t might break...okay, whatever, let's give it a shot.
Ah, dammit! I...I knew it, I knew it. I was like, "This thing's going to collapse when I jump on it", and then it fucking did.
Goddamn it, this is the kind of thing I want to be wrong about!
That shit looks like it's supposed to be here. It doesn't look like they're disposing of the toxic waste, it looks like they're using it for something.
High voltage too? I guess this must be where they make the electrified toxic waste!
"It's more dangerous than the sum of its parts!"
Honestly, why would you put 2 incredibly dangerous things in the same room with each other?
Look at that, there's an exposed wire and- WOW!
Oh shit, oh, oh, OH GOD!
Okay, don't panic, there's gotta be a way to...oh, fuck! The ladder!
Oh, come on, there's gotta be a way to...oh, no, I can't jump that!
Come on, come on, think, THINK!
Oh, I hate this place!
Oh, I think that's it. Woah, wah!
Go, go!
Oh, shit, this is a terrible idea.
Hey, hey, open the door! This room is not safe!
(door opening noises) Yes! You are a king among men, sir!
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.
Man, I am going to thank that guy. I am gonna shake his hand in person-oh.
Oh, look. Is that what I think it is? It is. Electrified toxic waste!
I was just talking about that! Where the hell did that guy go?
He had to have come through here, this is the only other exit.
Okay. I'm pretty tired of shit blowing up in my face, so I'm just going to shoot this thing.
So let's see. I predicted that the walkway would collapse;
That the exposed wire would blow the shit out of everything, and now the electrified toxic waste.
Jesus Christ! I'm like the Nostradamus of fucking up!
I hear a crab!
Ow, bas...bastard!
Wuh! I'm carving these things up like Thanksgiving turkeys.
Uh! You don't play the hiding game with me. You know, these things actually do look like chickens without feathers.
Makes me wonder what they taste like. Maybe I'll take one home and cook it.
Okay, I just killed about 5 of these fuckers. This is just...oh hey. Look.
Oh, a dead guy. There's a surprise. Hey, what's this button do?
Well, that did nothing. You know, this thing should really be labeled.
Let's try this switch.
That switch probably opens the door. Or bursts into flame, I'm not really sure.
What? There was a first aid kit right here, and you died?
Maybe it's out of power. No, it's still got juice! There is no excuse for that!
You're just straight retarded, aren't you? Man, I hope you reincarnate as one of these chicken things.
That would be hilariously ironic.
Actually, you know, that kind of reminds me of that time my cousin James thought he was a spider in a past life.
He would cut out parts of his hair and try to build a web out of it.
So I reminded him that when spiders have children, the female eats the male. He never talked about it again.
And...don't fall in!
Ah. A suit battery.
Get out of the way, you little fuck!
I just wasted a .357 round on your stupid ass!
Okay, tuck and roll. Hua!
Okay, that wasn't really a roll, but, whatever.
Aw jeez, I just had a thought: What if that suit guy never came in here? What if he found a secret passage out of here?
He never told me about it! What a jackass.
Oh, no! A toll both! Whatever will I do?
I bet some people down here would have found that obstacle challenging.
That oughta slow them down.
That oughta slow them down.
Okay, that better not be what I think it is.
Okay, that better not be what I think it is.
Dammit, it is. The entire corridor caved in.
You know, maybe we should wait until the soldiers are gone before we start commencing airstrikes!
Looks like I'm improvising again.
So, let's see. Is there like a ladder, or...
Woah, shit! (splash)