The Great British Bake Off: Abridged!


Uploaded by woahbot on 11.10.2012

Transcript:
Just when you thought things couldn't get any more exciting… [ARE YOU SHITTING ME?]
It's The Great British Bake Off: Abridged!
… By the devil!
FOOLS!
Such pathetic, petty fools [for watching this shit]
Bowed down and worshipping your dark lord
… In front of that idiot, hot box. [NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH PEOPLE WATCHING OVENS.]
Hoping their mash of ingredients will further their selfish ways into glory…
but little did they realise [because they're possibly too busy staring into their reflection from the oven door and searching deep into their souls rethinking their life and how it had come to this]
that they had signed an unwritten contract with me,
Satan [Sweat in fear and lick your lips, for it's the the bearded bake lord of the clammy-bottomed underworld]
who unknowingly baked their bread and destroyed their soufflés.
It is I,
SATAN [What a choad]
who will take their souls one by one
WEEK BY WEEK [I LOVE DOING THIS VOICE]
so they can conquer your tiny [and a bit sad] world [I say "World" I really mean "hamlet"] of baking
but at the cost of their soul banished to an eternity in the baking wilderness of their deserted minds. [Good! They deserve it for pouring such uncaptivating and boring TV at us]
And with a new soul acquired, I,
Satan Metabot.2000
WILL RISE FROM THE STEAMY CLUNGE OF HELL AND DESTROY THE HUMAN WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. [DESTROY DESTROY]
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA