It Gets Better -- From Best Buy

Uploaded by bestbuy on 07.06.2012

- When I finally could accept, okay, this--
this is who I am; I am a lesbian,
I was set free.
- I was the school fag.
It was okay to kick my butt.
- You don't fall in love with a gender.
You fall in love with the person.
- My friends initially gave me a poor reaction.
I was completely devastated that they weren't there for me.
- It's not easy to be gay in this world,
no matter where you live.
It is not easy.
- I didn't fit the norm,
and in my small town, that was very unacceptable.
- I had the thoughts in my head.
I heard them in the back of my mind.
I never acted on them.
I wasn't sure how to act on them.
I wasn't sure what that meant.
- For a long, long time felt
just, you know, really bad about myself
because of having those feelings and having those attractions.
- I didn't know a single person growing up that was gay.
- I didn't even know what the word "transgender" was.
- I've always had, like, an underlying,
"I'd like to be a woman."
- When all the girls started wearing makeup
or, you know, started talking about boys,
man, I wasn't there.
- Part of me felt like if I was girly enough
or dated enough boys or did the right things,
that it would go away.
- I shut it off, because I was just like,
"There's no way I'm gonna be the cause
of this type of anxiety for my parents.
You know, and I also probably didn't have the courage
to even think about going down that path.
- I started dating a college guy.
That helped.
It filled some of the-- the gaps and the holes,
and I married him right after high school.
- Got married in 1997.
So it's our 15th anniversary this year.
- Everybody in my high school knew I was gay before I could--
before I knew or before I would even think about admitting it.
- Holy crap, like, is what I feel on the inside
starting to show on the outside.
- Immediately, the bullies pick up on it.
- It was, like, their mission to make me miserable.
- Being called "she-beast" and "the incredible she-hulk."
- There was a group of them, just started chanting "dyke."
- "Dick smoker," they-- you know, "pussy."
- It shook my confidence.
It made me mad, made me cry.
- I don't know how I made it through.
- Just two days shy of my 19th birthday,
I had attempted suicide seven times.
- And I began to cut on myself,
and that pain was, for me, the best,
because I felt like I was still alive.
- What am I gonna do?
I think I'm gay.
You know, I have crushes on these women.
If I could just decide--
I can just decide that I'll stay married.
- I had friends praying with me to "pray the gay away."
I had a friend send me a beautiful care package
of things to keep me on the track
of becoming straight
and to exorcise the demon of homosexuality.
But nothing worked,
so I'm still gay.
- I have tried for ten years to pray this out.
It's not taking,
so it's time to take your own medicine
and accept yourself for who you are.
- Coming out to my family was terrifying.
- "I'm gay."
And she--she said, "No.
No, you're not."
- My dad actually found out on Myspace.
- She--she just started crying and said,
"That's not what God wants for you,"
and I just--I couldn't take that from my grandma,
because I've always known her to be--
you know, she was such a strong person
and always there for me,
and for the first time, I felt like she wasn't.
- He knows. I know he knows.
He knows I know that he knows.
Like, it's in the open.
But we--we just don't talk about it.
- Steve was depressed and not feeling like he could reconcile,
you know, who he was on the inside
with what he wanted to be on the outside.
And that was the day that we decided
that Steve needed to transition to Elle.
- You know, I needed to say out loud to my parents,
"I want to come back, but I'm still gonna be gay,
"and so we're not gonna be able to pretend that--
when I come home, that I'm not."
- My dad looks at me, and he says,
"It doesn't matter."
He's like, "We love you no matter what."
- I came out at 44.
- For me, it's a little different than Dad.
I think I knew all along.
- I have no regrets, of course,
about having my family and my kids.
It's all great.
So--but for everybody, it's different.
- "I need you to understand.
Your sister is a lesbian."
And my sister's like, "Hello?
"Did you not see the mullet in sixth grade?
Everybody knows."
- Just because I'm gay
and you're a female friend of mine
doesn't mean that I'm into you.
You know?
You're not even my type.
- Sometimes, it's not as bad as you think it's gonna be,
and it can be an amazing experience
and bring you closer to your friends and your family
than you ever thought.
- Elle's my best friend.
I can't imagine what it would be like to give--
give that up because she wants to be female.
- I knew that being gay
was gonna be part of what set me free.
- Don't try to be somebody that you're not.
Be you, because...
Why would you want to be anybody else?
- You can go through your life
taking on other people's baggage,
and, you know, work hard not to do that.
- You can find people who will support you,
who will love you.
You can find somebody to love you.
- There are people out there
that have been through what you're going through.
They understand what you're doing.
They understand what you've been through,
and they can help.
- It's not going to be pretty.
It's not going to be fun.
But it's going to be amazing later on.
- It's gonna get better.
- I'm here to tell you it gets a lot better.
- Don't do it by yourself.
Don't feel like you have to be alone.
Know that there are other people out there
who can help you through it.
- Believe me, it gets much better.
- It does get better.
- It gets better.
- It gets better.