Ep 8 - Packed with Secrets pt1 - 12-Steps To Recovery

Uploaded by 12stepswebseries on 05.01.2011

PARRISH I don’t know if I’ve lost my
swagger or what, but I’m less than halfway through these dates and I’m
striking out like Al Sharpton at a Tea Party Rally--And seeing Sheryl
with that guy was just too much.
BLUE Look P, if you’re gonna survive
this dating game, you gotta up your crazy. These New York babes will eat
your heart out, belch in your face and make you say excuse me. Time to
claim your spot at the head of the table, even if it is a folded one.
PARRISH Funny. You make it sound as if it’s
BLUE It is and don’t let anyone tell you
PARRISH All this from the guy who hasn’t
been in a seriously relationship since college.
BLUE That’s because I choose to play the
field. I’m a free agent baby. Lending my services to the highest bidder.
PARRISH Whatever...I took your advice and
that French babe Manalé had me running through the woods like
Harriet Tubman. Shoeless, cold and following the North Star.
BLUE Yo, that sounded like some straight
Uptown Saturday Night ish. (laughs)
PARRISH Always at my expense right? Look,
fill me in on this Tina babe.
BLUE Oh, you gonna love her. She’s cute
in the face, small in the waist and with her own place.
PARRISH Thanks Dr. Seuss. Now what about her
BLUE You be the judge. Here they come now.
PARRISH Man, you didn’t tell me she was white.
BLUE So what! You Farrakhan now or something?
P, she’s Irish, not pork.
PARRISH Yeah, the other white meat. I’m just
saying, you should’ve warned me.
BLUE Attention soldier. You’ve been warned.
(to Amber) Hey baby, you are looking delicious.
(kisses Amber)
AMBER Just for you baby.
BLUE What’s poppin' Tina?
TINA Hey Blue?
AMBER Great seeing you Parrish, It’s been
a minute.
PARRISH Yes it has. You’re looking stylish
as ever. Always bucking the trends.
AMBER That’s how I do it baby boy.
So Parrish, this is my dynamic, sexy, and fabulous friend Tina.
TINA Hi Parrish.
PARRISH Hello Tina.
TINA Double kisses. Ummm, firm handshake, pretty
White teeth, nice shirt and buffed shoes. I think we have a winner Amber.
AMBER Girl let him pay for dinner first,
before you start with the accolades.
BLUE You got a live one P.
TINA I hope you don’t mind my playfulness.
Some men can’t handle it.
PARRISH Not at all. I’m all about having a
good time and I’m sure I can handle what you’re bringing.
TINA Ummm, Brownie point number five.
AMBER Lets get a table before this girl
have Parrish jumping a broom.
TINA Trust me--Once you lube the tube,
it slides right in--Breathe deeply and no pain.
AMBER Humph, that’s what Blue told me,
but it was a different story all together. I couldn’t sit for...
BLUE Damn baby, a little privacy?!
PARRISH Blue, you’re just packed with secrets.
TINA Listen, colonics are by no means
sexual. (BEAT) Now occasionally, I get freaks...Guys wanting to
masturbate during the session. I kick their asses right out. No refund.
BLUE Okay, enough talk of colonics.
AMBER Why Blue? You know sometimes you can
be full of it. Maybe you need one.
BLUE You know what?
AMBER What? You want me to join you at
the bar? I’d love too baby.
PARRISH Those two are something else.
TINA So Parrish, why is a sweet, sexy,
almond brotha like you single? ...Handsome, with style and that
popping jingle, which I love. Should I be concerned? You on
the DL?
PARRISH What!?. Ain’t nothing DL about me.
I’m a straight shooter baby. What you see is what you get.
TINA I hope you’re not one of these
brothas who think white women are prizes. I’m special, but not special
if you know what I mean. I date all types of men, but I prefer black men.
PARRISH Oh really? So the darker the berry
the sweeter the juice?
TINA Sweet juice comes in all flavors
baby, believe me...I just feel more comfortable with brothas and
they seem to appreciate all I have to offer—-Inside and out.
PARRISH Hmmm, I bet they do. Without a doubt
you got it going on. You’re sexy as hell, talk some good stuff, but
the question is...can you shake what yo momma gave you?
TINA I know you’re not challenging me to
the dance floor?
PARRISH I’m tired of all this talking. Put
your money where your mouth is. Will it be Lady Ga Ga or Susie Chapstick?
TINA You dug way back for that one. C’mon
old man. I’m gonna make you sweat.
PARRISH You talking about dancing or
something else?
TINA Pace yourself bad boy. You gotta
walk before you run.
PARRISH I’m wearing my good shoes baby.
AMBER Looks like they are hitting it off.
BLUE I’m kinda shocked you hook Parrish
up with a white girl. Don’t you sistas have some type of oath or
pledge of allegiance?
AMBER It’s the twenty-first century. If
sistas don’t want a guy like Parrish, then there are plenty
of other worthy women who do. Plus Tina is great catch and she’s my
ride or die sista.
BLUE You sound so sexy with all that
Angela Davis sisterhood talk. You gonna wear that afro wig and
leather jump suit tonight?
AMBER You a big ol’ freak Blue. But
that’s what I love about you.