Emma Caulfield and DailyGrace LIVE - 9/25/12 (Full Ep)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 25.09.2012

Transcript:
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[MUSIC PLAYING, INDIE-ROCK]
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MALE SPEAKER: 0, 1.
DAILY GRACE: Stop talking about us.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
DAILY GRACE: Hello, you wild, tamed, probably smelly, but
beautiful in a unique way, animals.
Daily Grace, here for "My Damn Channel LIVE." Whee-hoo.
I hope you're wearing a brain condom, because your mind is
about to get f--[DING]--
duh, in a gentle, beautiful and respectful way, of course.
And I promise I'll remember it for the rest of my life.
So take that hat off.
Let's do this.
Are you uncomfortable yet?
Cool.
Did you miss last week's show?
Here's a clip.
BETH HOYT: [SHHH]
[WHUUU]
[LAUGHS]
Hah, hah, uhn!
En garde!
OK.
Oh my gosh, he's really going for it.
Hey, who do you think you are?
Oh my--
Nate?
Let's--
Nate.
NATE: [MUTTERS]
[HUFF, GRUNT]
BETH HOYT: OK.
[HOLLOW PLASTIC CLICKS]
BETH HOYT: Hiyah!
[HUFF]
Wait, what?
NATE: I, I yield.
DAILY GRACE: If you haven't seen "Braveheart," that's the
entire movie.
Sorry, spoiler.
Now, it's time for MFCFLTS, My Favorite Comment From Last
Tuesday's Show.
It comes down alisonscout.
"I hate missing the live show and then stuff gets cut out
and I feel like I missed the joke."
Because you did miss the joke.
Don't ever miss a live show.
Gee, that was a horrible, a horrible thing
you could ever do.
The only thing worse than that is severe racist jokes.
But, other than that, missing a live show
is horrible, horrible.
Don't do it.
Tell your friends.
Dare to say no to missing the live show.
Oh my god.
I'm just going to bask in that for a second.
I'm done basking.
Now, I've a really, super special person with me on
today's show.
She's an actress.
She just started in a hilarious new YouTube channel.
And she's meeting me for the first time, right here, live,
on "My Damn Channel LIVE." Please
welcome, Emma Caulfield.
Yay!
Single person clapping in a room for a--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Thank you.
DAILY GRACE: Another person.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Thank you.
DAILY GRACE: Thank you for being here, Emma.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Thank you for having me.
DAILY GRACE: Emma is out here in New York.
But you're usually in Los Angeles.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yes, yes I am.
DAILY GRACE: How do you like New York?
EMMA CAULFIELD: I love New York.
Every time I come here, I don't want to go home.
DAILY GRACE: Really?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yes.
But I have to go home.
I turn into a pumpkin later tonight.
DAILY GRACE: Oh.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I do.
An actual pumpkin.
DAILY GRACE: [INAUDIBLE]
I'm learning so much about her already.
Now for those idiots out there that haven't watched your
YouTube channel, explain to us a little bit about it.
EMMA CAULFIELD: OK.
Um, I basically just do whatever the [DING]
I want.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, she does.
It's the internet.
Take that, television.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
That's pretty much what I do.
I, I blog twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Thursdays, I answer advice.
Um, and Tuesdays is grab bag, and I, I, whatever my mind
comes up with, I do.
DAILY GRACE: Nice.
EMMA CAULFIELD: And so, yeah.
DAILY GRACE: It's the internet.
EMMA CAULFIELD: It's like a internet one-woman-show kind
of situation.
DAILY GRACE: So get on that.
And speaking of advice, Emma's been in town shooting some
mystery project that she refuses to tell me about.
That's not true.
We just haven't gotten to talking about that yet.
And we've been trying to meet up for drinks for the past two
weeks, and it hasn't worked out, because we--
EMMA CAULFIELD: I keep flaking on you.
DAILY GRACE: Is she--we.
I was going to say we have a lot of things going on.
Now [INAUDIBLE] she keeps canceling on me.
EMMA CAULFIELD (LAUGHS): That's true.
I do.
DAILY GRACE: And so, because we haven't been able to have
that drink, we're going to have it right now.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yes!
DAILY GRACE: Right here.
EMMA CAULFIELD: That's what I'm talking about.
DAILY GRACE: In front of all of you.
And uh, I texted Emma this morning and asked her what
here favorite thing to drink is.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Mm hm, Champagne.
DAILY GRACE: Champagne.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I can drink a lot of it and not get drunk.
DAILY GRACE: A girl after my own heart.
EMMA CAULFIELD: The best kind of alcohol.
DAILY GRACE: All right.
[POP]
DAILY GRACE: Kaplow!
EMMA CAULFIELD: Oh, nice.
DAILY GRACE: Oh, this has got a professional touch to it.
Sorry, I've opened it up--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Tilt it, and then we don't get all bubbly.
DAILY GRACE: Oh, yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Look at that.
It's like we're real-life--
EMMA CAULFIELD: It ain't my first rodeo.
DAILY GRACE: Wedding caterers.
This is amazing.
And while we drink, like I said, speaking of advice,
we're going to be giving you guys some advice and answer
some of your questions.
Cheers.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Cheers.
Cheers.
DAILY GRACE: Yay.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yay.

DAILY GRACE: Mm, prosecco.
EMMA CAULFIELD: That is like awesome.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: That is just what I needed.
DAILY GRACE: Just like water to a dolphin.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: We're going to answer your [INAUDIBLE]
because the best time for not only one but two women to give
advice to complete strangers is when they're drinking.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yes.
DAILY GRACE: And the second best time is when they're
horribly hormonal.
And guess what, maybe you'll get both of those today.
Let's check out your questions.
Let's take a comment from YouTube first.
What do we have?
This is from FELICIANNENEKO.
"I have bright blue hair but don't want to dye it back.
Where can I get a job at?"
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
What the?
Is that English?
What the heck just happened?
How much-- was this spiked?
DAILY GRACE: Its spiked--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Because I didn't drink
enough for that comment.
DAILY GRACE: The champagne is spiked with vodka.
That's how I drink everything.
I call it a Shirley Temple.
So when you come to my bar, and you ask for a Shirley
Temple, surprise kids, you're going to get something else.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I don't understand that question.
DAILY GRACE: If you've blue hair-- she doesn't
want to dye it back.
EMMA CAULFIELD: OK.
DAILY GRACE: Where can she get a job?
How about the lazy farm, because you, uh, you spend all
that effort to dye it blue and you don't want to dye it back
to a regular color?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Dye it back.
DAILY GRACE: Or you can--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Just get a wig.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, convince someone at Sesame Street to
create a wife for Cookie Monster, and
then you're all set.
Let's take a Twitter question.
This is from doo--
doo nology, doonology.
I need advice on how to throw a kick [DING]
party.
You girls are awesome.
Well, thank you.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Thank you.
DAILY GRACE: You hardly know us.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Agreed.
We are though.
DAILY GRACE: My gosh, I need to catch up.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
I am sorry.
Just, I really needed one.
DAILY GRACE: You really were dehydrated.
And, I'm glad that I can hydrate you.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: OK, how do throw a kick-ass party?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Oh, invite good people.
DAILY GRACE: That's a--
EMMA CAULFIELD: That's first and foremost.
DAILY GRACE: That's so true.
EMMA CAULFIELD: If you people who will
have things in common.
DAILY GRACE: Yes, I totally agree.
Or invite one person that's kind of, um, crazy?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Mm hm.
DAILY GRACE: Because when they start acting crazy, everyone
else can be like, that person's crazy.
And so they have this shared experience--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Right.
DAILY GRACE: That brings them closer together.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Right.
Exactly.
Or maybe, you know, if you know someone who's got like a
cool party trick--
DAILY GRACE: Yeah
EMMA CAULFIELD: That they can just pull out.
DAILY GRACE: Like a magician or--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Someone who could read signs.
DAILY GRACE: Someone that can read signs.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Not like signs, but like, you know.
Like you're a libra--
DAILY GRACE: Astrological signs.
EMMA CAULFIELD: You're a Libra, and I know exactly why,
that kind of funky.
DAILY GRACE: Whoa that's--
EMMA CAULFIELD: I read it.
DAILY GRACE: Face paint, maybe face paint.
Some sort of fondue people are into.
I know.
And then also maybe like a bowl of like Lactaid next to
it, just in case.
Everyone should have something that they can relate to at
your party.
EMMA CAULFIELD: In the '80s they used to put--
I don't know.
I don't even want to say what they used to do.
DAILY GRACE: Let's hear your Twitter question.
This is from ThePurityParty.
"How many days can I wear sweatpants and still know I'm
better than everyone else?" I feel like you and that
blue-haired girl should date.
Yeah, [LAUGHS], I know.
DAILY GRACE: [LAUGHS]
God, you guys refuse to do a lot of things.
EMMA CAULFIELD: They're d--
DAILY GRACE: How many days can you wear sweatpants and still
think they're better than everyone else?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Only when you're on your period.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: That's it.
DAILY GRACE: And you look like you were a boy, according to
your avatar.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
Well, that's [INAUDIBLE].
DAILY GRACE: And so, good luck with that.
Welcome to our world.
Let's take another question, shall we.
What've we got?
This is from, IMightBeKharla.
"How to tell my parents that I don't want them to call me
every single day?
I live abroad."
OK, how do you tell your parents?
EMMA CAULFIELD: I, I just like being direct.
DAILY GRACE: Mm hm.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Mom, dad, I love you.
But you need to just back the F off.
DAILY GRACE: Mm, I like being passive-aggressive.
Send them a series of text messages [LAUGHS]
and explain to them that you don't want them to call you.
EMMA CAULFIELD: My parents don't text.
DAILY GRACE: Oh.
EMMA CAULFIELD: That's the thing.
They refuse to text.
Well that would mean we couldn't talk.
DAILY GRACE: Right.
They have to evolve.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I love you mommy, I do.
DAILY GRACE: No, this is natural selection.
This is survival of the fittest.
Your parents have to learn to adapt to what you
want in this world.
Um, but yeah, I think be direct.
Tell them.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Be direct.
DAILY GRACE: But then just say, I love you,
after it so they know.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Be nice about it.
You don't need to be dick.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, exactly.
Don't be a dick.
Let's take another YouTube comment.
This is from thedailyguru.
I know that guy.
"What do I do when it is too hot for jeans but to cold for
shorts?"
EMMA CAULFIELD: Jorts.
DAILY GRACE: Jorts.
Capri pants, that's why God, himself,
invented the Capri pants.
Who knew God was such an amazing fashion designer?
EMMA CAULFIELD: I did.
DAILY GRACE: Um.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I always had a feeling about it.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
It's true.
You saw Jesus' robes.
He got that from his dad.
His dad was like, put a belt around that.
His dad was the first one that invented the cinched waist.
EMMA CAULFIELD: God was no dummy.
DAILY GRACE: That's really amazing.
Um, I would say linen pants.
When can you go wrong with linen pants?
EMMA CAULFIELD: You can't.
They do wrinkle a little bit.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, you can go wrong all the
time with linen pants.
They're the worst things in the whole world.
They're worse than Capri pants on men.
Oh, that's debatable.
Linen Capri pants would be, ah, absolute hell on Earth.
Let's take a comment from YouTube.
From ocarinaofjess.
OK.
"I'm like the laziest person ever.
How can I motivate myself to actually do work?
Love you guys."
OK, if you're the laziest person ever, how can you mote
your, motivate yourself to actually do work?
EMMA CAULFIELD: There you go.
Just give that right over here.
DAILY GRACE: Please.
Um, I say set goals.
Set goals--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Short term goals.
DAILY GRACE: Yes.
EMMA CAULFIELD: So you don't get overwhelmed.
DAILY GRACE: Set goals that are manageable for yourself.
Um, and actually saw this in Mona Hannah Hart's video.
She was talking about like how to motivate
yourself to get work done.
And she was saying, create a checklist for yourself of even
the most simple tasks, like pour another glass of
Champagne--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Check.
DAILY GRACE: Drink Champagne.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Check.
DAILY GRACE: Uh, throw phone away, so you don't send
mysterious text messages later.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Check.
DAILY GRACE: And just those simple tasks, something about
cathartic, the cathar--
EMMA CAULFIELD: But you actually have to write them.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: You can't pull that, you know the, the notes
on the iPhone.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: You actually have to write it out.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
But even just that little simple list--
EMMA CAULFIELD: True.
DAILY GRACE: Being able to cross something off, white,
might hopefully motivate you into crossing off more
complicated tasks.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Get out of bed today.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Check.
DAILY GRACE: Did it.
Cleanse yourself in a way that's appropriate to be seen
in front of other people.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS].
DAILY GRACE: Check.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Check.
DAILY GRACE: That's debatable for myself today.
I'm rocking a lot of eye makeup guys.
Let's take a Twitter question.
From mylifeaskim, ah, as Kim, as Kim 92.
OK, so close.
Ah, tomato, potato.
"How to overcome my phobia of bunnies?"
EMMA CAULFIELD: Hm--
DAILY GRACE: Well you could do--
EMMA CAULFIELD: That's a tough one.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, you could do it the Maury Povitch style,
and just have someone dress up as a giant rabbit and come
into your house, so that it scares the fear out of you.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yeah.
Or you just understand that there's
nothing scary about them.
DAILY GRACE: Mm hm.
Like--
DAILY GRACE: Or you break down what actually
scares you about them.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Right.
DAILY GRACE: Is it their ears?
Is it their movement?
Is it what you associate with the rabbit?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Well, they're very soft and cuddly.
DAILY GRACE: Right.
EMMA CAULFIELD: So that would be inviting.
That would mean intimate.
Maybe you're afraid of intimacy.
You should look into that.
You're welcome.
DAILY GRACE: God bless you.
Let's take another question.
This is from chloerereidyshe--
reidishere.
Why can't I?
OK.
chloereidishere, now then.
"I got reply from a job interview saying that they're
offering me a position, but I rang them to discuss it
further, and no one picked up.
Am I being trolled?"
Um, I don't think you-- if you rang them, and no one picked
up, did you leave a message?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Are you sure you got the job?
Wait, did they get the job?
DAILY GRACE: Did you call the right number?
I think that that's OK.
That, I mean, if this is a job you want, hopefully, the
business that you're working with is very busy--
EMMA CAULFIELD: Can a phode be, or a phode-- a phode?
DAILY GRACE: A phode.
EMMA CAULFIELD: What?
DAILY GRACE: That's OK.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Afford.
DAILY GRACE: Tomato potato.
EMMA CAULFIELD: [LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: The telephone bill.
EMMA CAULFIELD: The telephone bill.
That's important.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Solvency is important for a job, for an
employer, I think.
DAILY GRACE: Yes.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Mm hm.
DAILY GRACE: I, I say give you, yourself some time to see
if they call back.
This is like dating.
Getting a job is like dating.
If they don't answer right away, give it a day.
And then if they still don't answer, do donuts on their
front lawn with your car.
It's.
Everyone handles things differently.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: Find what works for you.
Let's take another YouTube comment.
This is from gusbot5.
"Is it possible to start out a relationship being long
distance and have it work?" No.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Nope.
They all fail, every single one of them.
Sorry.
DAILY GRACE: Sex online, not the same.
Let's take another comment.
This is from bryttab62.
"How do I impress my teacher when he's was
very strict?" [LAUGHS]
Why do you want to impress your?
Uh, I, OK.
You want to impress your teacher, but he's very strict?
Um, follow his rules.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Get good grades.
DAILY GRACE: Get good grades.
Be well behaved.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Not--
show, show up, for starters.
That would be good.
You know, true story, I did, never showed up
for my biology class.
And I, I didn't show up so much, that he would mark me
absent, and if I showed up, he would erase the absent mark.
That's that's true.
That's what you don't want to do.
Way bad example.
DAILY GRACE: Wait, so you didn't show up.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I hated biology, and I refused to go.
And I still don't know how I passed.
DAILY GRACE: That's funny.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Because I'm that smart.
DAILY GRACE: No wonder you wouldn't
disect that frog earlier.
EMMA CAULFIELD: That's true.
DAILY GRACE: I'm learning all these things about you.
Let's take a Twitter question.
This is from chowitt101.
"How has the internet changed your life?"
EMMA CAULFIELD: Mm.
DAILY GRACE: Ooh.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Ooh.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, how has the internet changed your life?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Met you.
DAILY GRACE: Ah, oh my gosh, that's true.
EMMA CAULFIELD: It's true.
DAILY GRACE: We did meet through the internet.
And that's actually like a very true thing.
I've met lot of people that I now have as friends through
the internet.

Wow.
EMMA CAULFIELD: It feels good.
DAILY GRACE: It feels really good.
So keep commenting and maybe you'll meet some friends in
that chat room, guys.
Wow, that was great.
But guess what, now it's over and I'm sad.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Boo.
Boo.
DAILY GRACE: Ahh, now I'm OK.
Emma, thank you so much for being there.
EMMA CAULFIELD: Thank you for having me.
That was really fun.
DAILY GRACE: Think-- you give great advice.
And to all these people that you helped, please let them
know where they find you on the internet.
EMMA CAULFIELD: They can find me at ESSNEMMA, that's
E-S-S-N-E-M-M-A, ESSNEMMA, that is my YouTube channel.
DAILY GRACE: What about Twitter?
EMMA CAULFIELD: Twitter is my name, Emma Caulfield.
And of course my tumbler, Flying Freak Flag, and
Facebook, essnemma.
So there you go.
DAILY GRACE: All the social networks.
EMMA CAULFIELD: I'm everywhere.
DAILY GRACE: Everywhere.
She's everywhere.
She'll be in your dreams tonight.
Yay.
You guys can find me, every other day of the week, at
mydamnchannel.com/dailygrace.
Don't forget to subscribe here, to "My Damn Channel", so
you don't miss any of these live gems, because if you do,
it's really sad.
EMMA CAULFIELD: It's sad.
DAILY GRACE: Until next time, tell Beth I said, hi.
Bye-ey.
[DING]
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