Daddy Knows Best - Special Brownies


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 30.05.2012

Transcript:

[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SINGING]
FEMALE SPEAKER: Wow!
STEVE: Huh?
FEMALE SPEAKER: Wow!
STEVE: Impressive.
FEMALE SPEAKER: You're making Jack's brownies?
STEVE: I am indeed.
I am
FEMALE SPEAKER: Wow.
STEVE: And I made a batch for myself.
For this guy.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Look at you.
Yeah, I'm loving this, by the way.
I'm really liking it.
STEVE: This is, uh, masculinity.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Yeah.
STEVE: What say after I make these brownies, I get to glaze
those melons?
No?
FEMALE SPEAKER: So gross.
STEVE: All right.
All right, babe.
I love you.
At least we still got Daddy's medicine, huh?
What do we have here?
Mmmm, Colombian Skull Fuck.
Let's put a little bit in there.
Ah, it's a little conservative for my taste.
How about the Paula Dean portion?
Yeah!
Mix it up!
Yoidle doidle doidle, bay-bay.
Hey, Babe.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Hey, Honey.

STEVE: Babe, where are the brownies with the green top?
FEMALE SPEAKER: Oh, I dropped it off at the
Swartzen's with Jack.
Thank you.
STEVE: Oh shit!

No!

MALE SPEAKER: What the fuck, man?

FEMALE SPEAKER: Uh, Steve?
Barbara just called me.
She was hysterical.
She said that you sprinted into her house, and you were
slapping brownies out of the kids' hands.
STEVE: Barbara is such a narc, babe.
Yes, I did go over to their house, and I was slapping
brownies out of kids' hands.
But there's a method for my madness.
FEMALE SPEAKER: I'm all ears.
STEVE: Uh, where do I begin?
I was at the grocery store, and I saw this
gigantic fatso kid.
And I thought to myself, god, this is awful.
This child obesity is an epidemic.
FEMALE SPEAKER: So this is what it was all about?
STEVE: Yeah.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Did you do something to these?
STEVE: No, I just--
I probably added too much oil.
Or pot.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Are you kidding?
STEVE: Good?
FEMALE SPEAKER: Yeah, good.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, good.
STEVE: All gone.
Happy?
FEMALE SPEAKER: I am.
Let me see those hands.
STEVE: There.
There you go, Doubting Thomas.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Yeah, I guess I'd like to see
that other hand now.
STEVE: Ahh.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Ah, ha.
STEVE: Ah, yeah.
FEMALE SPEAKER: No, Steve, no!
STEVE: I need--
dammit.

What?
MALE SPEAKER 2: Hey, man.
Somebody just threw away some pot brownies.
Can you believe it?
STEVE: Yeah, man.
Those are my pot brownies.
Did you eat them all?
MALE SPEAKER 2: No, man.
There's more in here.
Come on in.
STEVE: What?
No.
Just--
god, just find me one.
Oh.
MALE SPEAKER 2: Hey, there's some good weed.
I'm fucked up.
STEVE: Oh my god.
Do you have anything to wash this down with?
MALE SPEAKER 2: I've got a little bit of wine here.
STEVE: Oh.

And that's why daddy doesn't go to Tijuana anymore because
VD is a real thing, buddy.
You have no idea how much Penicillin I had to take to
get rid of that.
You taking this all in or--