PLAN V, Temporada 1, Capítulo 1, "Es obvio". s01e01

EPISODE 1 It´s Obvious
Hi!
What's up?
I've just met the girl of my dreams.
I see.
Let's talk about something important…
I'm cooking!
What? You?
But, look how everything is related to everything…
I was watching an old The L Word promo on tv.
Oh! So that reminded you of me and you phoned me, didn't you?
You lesbians are so perceptive! You got it!
Keep on teasing and I won't help you. What do you want, Martin?
No, no, it's ok. I'm sorry! Listen…
Laura is coming over for dinner…
So I need you to come home early and cook something nice
that looks like I could have done it…
Then you have to vanish, go out with your friends
and watch Ellen or The L Word.
Shut up you smartass!
Listen, you really are hooked up on that girl!
Can you believe? I' really crazy about her.
Thanks sis, I love you.
Wait, listen, before we hung up, help me out with the ingredients
of whipped cream.
Cream, 3 spoons of sugar and vanilla.
Something missing?
No, that's fine. Kisses.
Kisses, I love you.
The lid!
Lights, cam.
Go back to her face.
Can you look at me when I talk to you, Patricia?
-I am looking at you! -No, you are not!
-Yes you did! -You can't do that!
Don't shout at me! Don't shout at me! I go wild!
Hi!
What's wrong?
You won't guess what happened…
Pato, apparently was really checking out one of the casting girls
Mara went mad, she's so jealous.
In the middle of the interview
she grabbed her arm and took her to the toilet, yelling.
They are nuts!
The girl was pretty upset, she ended up leaving,
and I had to walk her to the taxi
The superintendant came to help me, the phone wouldn't stop ringing…
A disaster! A very very unpleasant situation.
Mara requested Pato to throw away all the footage recorded on this girl
and not to introduce her to our client.
Now we're taking shots with this other backup girl but I don't really like her,
she's not photogenic, she's not good.
We waste the whole afternoon!
You know, Pato is kinda… cheap!
So they're yelling at each other in the balcony.
Yelling all the time.
Pato is telling her that we need real professional commitment,
that we don't need these absurd situations at the office
And Mara is telling her that she needs emotional commitment
that they need to move together, the lack of commitment…
The whole number.
So here, today, no one is working.
What a pain!
Want some coffee?
No, it gives me an ulcer.
No, I didn't realize. It's not that easy to tell if a girl is gay.
It's not the same as with you guys.
Excuse me, but it's so obvious,
there are lots of signs to tell if a girl is gay.
For example?
First: huge hips line.
For some reason lesbians let themselves go.
It's not like with us gay men, we're all slim.
Second: cargo pants.
It's not that everyone who wears them is gay,
but it she does, she is probably gay!
Another one: lesbians don't bend their knees when walking.
Nonsense! Are you out of your mind?
You just can't see it cuz you are gay yourself!
Give me a chance.
Short hair!
I'm not saying that Halle or Liza are gay, but you know what I mean, don't you?
The others... the typical ones.
Cell phone clipped to the waist.
The fanny pack!
Lumberjack shirts with rolled up sleeves…
There's also… Banging their fists on a table.
And… Skin and hair.
What?
Dry.
But dude! I just met her on the subway, she didn't bang her fist on any table
and besides, you have a terrible concept of lesbians.
Stop with that myth.
It is as if I say all fags love Barbara Streisand.
Yeah.
-Or that they all drink Appletini. -Tasty, I like it.
And wax their chest.
Tight pants and shirts.
Eye makeup.
Emo haircut.
Walk extravagantly.
What?
Yes, that's all true…
You're ridiculous!
Isn't she the prettiest girl you've ever seen?
No, YOU are…
Girls, ever realized you have an insane relationship?
Another classic: lesbians have insane relationships,kinda symbiotic
and do U-Haul the next day they met.
Excuse me, but if you talking about U-haul, then Pato isn't a lesbian at all
Shut up, you faggot!
We're not talking about the center of the universe.
Looks like Ana met someone.
Oh, no. We were just going to introduce someone to you.
Girls, I didn't met anyone.
Did she? Or didn't she?
Meeting... meeting...
like knowing her nam or how old is she...
Or just know if she's gay.
I just can't get it. Did you or did you not?
No.
Hello everybody!
It seems like Ana met a girl or maybe she didn't.
Tell the story Ana.
Well, I was in the subway
and I bumped into a girl and we both dropped our stuff
Whose fault was it?
Mine, but…
Ana you're always absent minded.
Wait Pato.
So?
We bumped into each other
and I helped her grab her stuff, and we locked eyes,
and it was magic!
That's nice…
So?
Then she left.
You let her go and don't know a thing about her?
Phone?
Messenger?
Facebook!
Her name. Sometimes it's hard to remember a name.
It's hard to remember it the morning afterbut not when you never knew it.
But guys you expected me to talk to her right there?
-Exactly! -Obvious!
So, we can say you didn't meet anyone.
I know, I'm a fool.
I'm pretty sure I'll see her again.
Violeta!
This morning's girl's name!
Excuse me, no one working today?
Hello beautiful!
So?
It's really tasty. It's ready.
You just have to reheat it when she arrives.
It's done. Put it 5 minutes in the mic and serve it!
Ok.
Oh I can really cook!
When she finds out who cooked it she won't love you anymore
she will love me instead
Can you imagine?
And this cake?
What are you doing?
Leave it alone!
Leave it!
Just a bit, with my finger, she won't notice.
Don't you dare!
Just a bit and then you leave.
Martin, this cak…
No!