Wits & Wagers: Veronica Belmont, Phil LaMarr, and Jimmy Wong join Wil on TableTop, episode 13

WIL WHEATON: When my kids were growing up, I used gaming to
bond with them.
Not only was this totally fun, but it allowed me to secretly
impart values to them that are important to me, like
sportsmanship, honesty, and the importance of never losing
the joy of playing a game in the pursuit of winning it.
Today on TableTop, Veronica Belmont, Jimmy Wong, and Phil
LaMarr are here to play the role of my children in a
fantastic family game that's also a pretty neat party game.
It's fast.
It's a little silly.
And it uses these beloved meeples for scoring.
[HIGH PITCHED VOICE]
I love you, Wil Wheaton.
I love you too, meeple.
Put on your thinking cap because, we are playing Wits &
Wagers Family Edition.
[ROCK MUSIC]
WIL WHEATON: This is a trivia game where you don't have to
know the right answer.
You just have to know who at the table
knows the right answer.
Every round, we will ask a question
with a numerical response.
Like, how many full-time chefs does the White House have?
We'll write down the number that we think is right.
I have a very good feeling about this.
And then we will arrange those numbers numerically from low
to high on the table.
Now, the players have to guess which one is closest without
going over and place their meeples on that number.

Then the answer is revealed.
Five.
The White House has five full-time chefs.
Now, we score.
We get two points for every large meeple that's on the
correct answer.
And one point for every small meeple that's
on the correct answer.
Also, the answer that was closest without going over
gets a bonus point.
The first player to 15 points is the winner.
Who will that be?
I don't know.
Let's find out.
It is time to play Wits & Wagers Family Edition.

VERONICA BELMONT: My name is Veronica Belmont, and I'm a
video host.
Primarily, I do shows about technology, video games, and I
also have a science fiction and fantasy podcast called The
Sword and Laser.
JIMMY WONG: Hi, my name is Jimmy Wong.
I run a musical YouTube channel.
I also host a cooking show called Feast of Fiction.
And I act.
PHIL LAMARR: Hi.
I'm Phil LaMarr.
I used to be on MADtv.
More recently, I did voices for Star Wars--
The Clone Wars, Justice League, and Samurai Jack.
WIL WHEATON: Veronica, you are going to first.
VERONICA BELMONT: All right.
WIL WHEATON: Ask your question.
VERONICA BELMONT: Ooh, OK.
How many Native Americans attended the first
Thanksgiving feast in 1621?
PHIL LAMARR: Sounded like a joke at the beginning.
How many Native American does it--
JIMMY WONG: I'm just seeing this like
fictitious feast in my head.
VERONICA BELMONT: Don't let it get to your head.
WIL WHEATON: Exactly.
VERONICA BELMONT: You don't want it to
psych you out too much.
JIMMY WONG: I would love to think that I'm
going to win this game.
But I feel like if I say that now, I'm
screwed in the long run.
WIL WHEATON: My numbers look kind of hairy.
They literally look like they have hair on them, and it's
blowing in some kind of imagined
Maxell commercial breeze.
All right.
PHIL LAMARR: [COUGHING]
OCD.
OCD.
WIL WHEATON: So let's go ahead and flip these over and see
what our numbers are.
9, 33, 4 gobble-gobble, and 26.
JIMMY WONG: A hairy 26 at that.
WIL WHEATON: OK, a hairy 26.
I told you.
All right.
So that goes there.
Now we will choose which number we think is closest
without going over.
If you think that all of the numbers are too high, then you
would bet on number one.
So go ahead and place your meeples wherever you think is
appropriate, as close without going over.

I'm going to hedge.
JIMMY WONG: Precious bright.
WIL WHEATON: I'm going to hedge and go down.
PHIL LAMARR: I'm going stick with mine.
WIL WHEATON: Wow, check out--
Phil is very confident.
So go ahead and read the answer.
And I think they put a trivial thing on the back that says
something fun about it.
Wow, what a horrified look you have on your face.
Is it 1,000?
VERONICA BELMONT: It is 90.
WIL WHEATON: 90!
VERONICA BELMONT: 90.
PHIL LAMARR: Honestly, I don't I think that many Native
Americans would have shown up at the first Thanksgiving.
It's not their holiday.
They're just like, OK, well you want to thank us for
helping you survive.
Great.
We'll send two guys with some maize.
And we'll keep three in the bushes, because we don't
really trust you guys with your shiny buckles.
VERONICA BELMONT: The feast lasted almost a week.
WIL WHEATON: That's why there were 90 there.
All right.
33 is the closest--
VERONICA BELMONT: Yay, I got a point.
WIL WHEATON: --without going over.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, and that was my card, too.
WIL WHEATON: So Veronica, you get one point for being right.
You get one point for having a meeple there.
Jimmy, you get one point for being right.
Phil, you and I get shamed.
JIMMY WONG: Zamboni--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
WIL WHEATON: Every single person who plays on TableTop
wants to Zamboni our table.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
I need like one of those Zen rakes.
WIL WHEATON: What I want is just like a Roomba to drive
around the table the whole time.
VERONICA BELMONT: With a cat sitting on top.
WIL WHEATON: How many Nabisco animal
crackers shapes are there?
VERONICA BELMONT: Now I've got the Shirley Temple song stuck
in my head.
WIL WHEATON: So do I.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JIMMY WONG: Flower power.
WIL WHEATON: Yellow sunglasses guy for the
win, guy for the win.
JIMMY WONG: "Strategery"
VERONICA BELMONT: How about that?
How about that for strategy?
WIL WHEATON: All right.
Let's find out how many Nabisco animal
crackers shapes are there?
Five, six, oink oink, six again, and five.
What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Brain explosion.
WIL WHEATON: So let's do this.
This means that if five or six is actually correct, two of us
are going to get it.
OK.

I think Phil has the right idea.
JIMMY WONG: Going by my prior strategy of
always bet on pink.
PHIL LAMARR: [HUMMING]
WIL WHEATON: Do you play Wits & Wagers Family Edition?
Always bet on pink.
OK.
How many are there?
JIMMY WONG: Six.
More than six.
WIL WHEATON: 19.
VERONICA BELMONT: What?
JIMMY WONG: What?
WIL WHEATON: N-n-n-n-nineteen.
JIMMY WONG: N-n-n-n-doesn't matter.
I still won.
WIL WHEATON: The newest addition is the koala, which
joined in 2002.
VERONICA BELMONT: Dude, [BLEEP]
the koala.
PHIL LAMARR: They've been adding them?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, [BLEEP]
the koala.
VERONICA BELMONT: [BLEEP]
the koala.
When did they get that many animals
in the animal crackers?
Now they're throwing in like koalas?
Where do koalas come from?
That's not American.
JIMMY WONG: Apparently, at this point I'm guessing
they're adding in orca whales and whatever animal
they can think of.
WIL WHEATON: That's going to be nothing for those.
And then three points for green.
One point for blue.
Two points for yellow.
And four points for pink.
VERONICA BELMONT: Jimmy has been the most impressive
player so far.
He went out big with the whole vote on pink or go with pink
or whatever his slogan is.
But I think that he's going to falter towards the end.
JIMMY WONG: All right.
Harris Interactive.
This was done in 2008.
What percentage of Americans say that pro football is their
favorite sport?
WIL WHEATON: Way too many.
VERONICA BELMONT: Is all of them a number?
WIL WHEATON: Listen, there's two kinds
of kids in the world.
Kids who played football.
And kids who got hit in the eye with a football the first
time they tried to catch one.
Guess which one I am.

The only thing I know is that NASCAR is the most popular
sport in America.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, you bastard.
I just saw your number.
WIL WHEATON: I just know that.
PHIL LAMARR: [BRITISH ACCENT]
It's not really a sport, is it?
It's not really a sport.
JIMMY WONG: [BRITISH ACCENT]
Does it have a ball?
PHIL LAMARR: [BRITISH ACCENT]
Is chimney sweeping a sport?
Football is without a doubt one of my favorite sports.
When they get into the end goal and do the little dance
around, I mean that--
do they get an extra point if they can do a flip?
Isn't that how it works?
WIL WHEATON: 61%.
VERONICA BELMONT: I hate you so much right now.
WIL WHEATON: 43%, 60%.
Oh my god, it's like Price Is Right.
I'm that guy.
I'm sorry, Bob.
What was the highest bid?
60%!
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, wow.
JIMMY WONG: Wow.
OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: Interesting.
WIL WHEATON: 60, 60.
JIMMY WONG: The yellow's a good color for that, too.
WIL WHEATON: I think it's more than half.
I don't think you need to know a lot about sports to know how
many people like football.
VERONICA BELMONT: To illustrate how little I know
about football, I will say that when I heard that the
Patriots were playing the Giants, I was excited because
I thought the Giants were the San Francisco team, which is
where I live.
No, that's their baseball team.
WIL WHEATON: I think maybe it's more than 61.
I'm just going--
I'm betting it all on me.
JIMMY WONG: Always bet on pink.
So far my strategy for the game has just been always bet
on pink, which is the color that I am, which is slightly
egotistical.
30.
WIL WHEATON: Ah!
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, no.
None of us won anything.
JIMMY WONG: 30%.
PHIL LAMARR: Oh, because this is--
WIL WHEATON: We all lose!
VERONICA BELMONT: We all lost.
PHIL LAMARR: That's what I--
WIL WHEATON: But honestly, those of us who don't like
football, we actually win.
VERONICA BELMONT: We all win at the end of the day.
Good point.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PHIL LAMARR: I mean this is all fun, but I
really want to win.
Ooh.
And seeing as how I want to win--
WIL WHEATON: Yes?
PHIL LAMARR: And I have a 10-year-old who's read all of
the Harry Potter books--
WIL WHEATON: Yes?
PHIL LAMARR: I'm going to go with, how many children do the
Weasleys have in the Harry Potter series?
JIMMY WONG: Yes, yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, I know that.
JIMMY WONG: I do know this.
VERONICA BELMONT: Wait, why am I counting in public?
Don't look at me.
Sit on the hands, Belmont.
I've read all the books.
It's Ginny, Ron, Fred--

WIL WHEATON: I'm going to lose a lot of nerd
cred with the world.
I haven't read a single Harry Potter book.
And I stopped watching the movies when my kids grew out
of them because then I didn't have to go see them.
You've never read Harry Potter?
No, I've never read Harry Potter.
You've never looked at the sky?
Do you not know how to read?
What are you doing?
Are you drawing the family?

JIMMY WONG: Leave me alone with my cards.
VERONICA BELMONT: I'm either adding one or missing one.
I can't remember.
Percy, Billy Bob, Dave, Greg-- no, that's a Brady.
And internet, if I get this wrong, it's because I'm very
drunk right now.
WIL WHEATON: I'm also drunk.
VERONICA BELMONT: Very drunk.
WIL WHEATON: OK, here we go.
Veronica says five.
Phil says eight.
Jimmy says six.
I say I.
JIMMY WONG: You're just very excited about this question,
is what it is.
WIL WHEATON: I have no idea so, I just chose
an irrational number.
VERONICA BELMONT: And Obama.
Those are the Weasleys.

WIL WHEATON: Let's see.

VERONICA BELMONT: I'm just going to go for it.
Whatever.
WIL WHEATON: See now I'm torn because I think maybe--
I want to bet on you, because I think you're probably right.
PHIL LAMARR: Veronica styles herself a Potterphile, but
apparently her knowledge is not as exact as
she thinks it is.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
All right, there.
JIMMY WONG: I'll just bet on pink.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
PHIL LAMARR: Ooh, interesting.
WIL WHEATON: No, I'm changing my vote.

PHIL LAMARR: Oh, did you really want to do that?
Do you really want to do that?
WIL WHEATON: You're just so confident.
PHIL LAMARR: Final answer?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm done.
PHIL LAMARR: Because I don't actually
definitely know the answer.
JIMMY WONG: I guarantee I'm right.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
JIMMY WONG: I could name the kids.
PHIL LAMARR: Did you count Percy?
JIMMY WONG: Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
PHIL LAMARR: And Bill?
JIMMY WONG: Oh, yeah.
PHIL LAMARR: And I think there was another one.
JIMMY WONG: There is apparently--
VERONICA BELMONT: Fred.
JIMMY WONG: --four more.
WIL WHEATON: Frank Grimes?
PHIL LAMARR: Seven.
VERONICA BELMONT: No!
JIMMY WONG: What?
Close enough, close enough.
WIL WHEATON: But you're still right.
PHIL LAMARR: Bill, Charlie, Percy, identical twins Fred
and George, Ron, and Ginny.
There was the other.
I told you there was another one.
JIMMY WONG: Charlie's the oldest.
I forgot about that.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's the problem.
I had Ginny.
I had Ron.
I had the twins.
PHIL LAMARR: You were cointing the ones--
VERONICA BELMONT: Good old Obama Weasley.
He's my favorite.
WIL WHEATON: Internet is going to eat you alive.
VERONICA BELMONT: I'm sorry.
I apologize, internet.
I really--
I'm sorry.
WIL WHEATON: That's @Veronica on Twitter.
All right.
So that's going to be one point for green.
And another four--
PHIL LAMARR: Dang it.
WIL WHEATON: --for pink.
And zero for everybody else.
JIMMY WONG: This is going to be a short show, guys.
WIL WHEATON: Look at how close you are.
You're like halfway there.
Dude!
VERONICA BELMONT: You're doing so well, too.
WIL WHEATON: Jimmy's strategy of always betting on pink is
really paying off for him.
And I don't know if anyone's going to be able to catch him.
JIMMY WONG: Oh.
Always bet on pink.
VERONICA BELMONT: You guys, I'm not having fun anymore
because I'm not winning.
All right.
So the question is, how many times does a honeybee flap its
wings in one second?
JIMMY WONG: Balls.
VERONICA BELMONT: In one second.
WIL WHEATON: Balls isn't a number.
PHIL LAMARR: Yet.
JIMMY WONG: Yes, it is.
WIL WHEATON: It's got to be a lot
because it's all, [BUZZING].
Like, that's a lot of flaps.
JIMMY WONG: All right.
Let's slow it down.
[BUZZING]
Oh, wait.
[BUZZING]
WIL WHEATON: If you slow it down enough, it just sounds
like dubstep.
JIMMY WONG: That was the origins of dubstep.
[MAKING SOUNDS]
PHIL LAMARR: This is a stab in the dark.
WIL WHEATON: It's one of the great mechanics of this game.
You don't have to get it exactly.
You just have to get close without going over.
[INAUDIBLE]
Devo.
6,000.
Flap, flap.
VERONICA BELMONT: I could be--
WIL WHEATON: 1,000.
VERONICA BELMONT: Whoa, I'm way off.
Oh, I hate myself.
WIL WHEATON: Is that a 100 or a 700?
PHIL LAMARR: That's a 100.
WIL WHEATON: 100.
JIMMY WONG: Real sevens are written [INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: 50.
JIMMY WONG: 50?
WIL WHEATON: Really?
PHIL LAMARR: Really.
WIL WHEATON: 50, really?
VERONICA BELMONT: You don't know.
Do you know?
Do you know the answer?
JIMMY WONG: I could do 50 in a second just by going
[MAKING SOUNDS].
WIL WHEATON: I think it's between 100 and 1,000.
VERONICA BELMONT: All right.
I'm going to change my answer.
JIMMY WONG: 1K and 6,000.
PHIL LAMARR: Really?
JIMMY WONG: Not betting that hard on pink this time but
still betting on pink.
WIL WHEATON: I don't think it's between 50 and 100.
JIMMY WONG: My man.
VERONICA BELMONT: All right.
Well--
PHIL LAMARR: Well, because you're winning, so I have to
bet with you.
JIMMY WONG: That actually-- that's a very good strategy.
PHIL LAMARR: Right now it looks like Jimmy
is the one to beat.
And so I'm going to start betting on him, which of
course will make him not the one to beat because anything
I've been betting on has been wrong.
So now that I'm going to bet on Jimmy, he's not going to
get any points.
VERONICA BELMONT: 230.
WIL WHEATON: What?
VERONICA BELMONT: So I didn't win.
But I was right.
It's on the lower end.
WIL WHEATON: So this is closest without going over.
VERONICA BELMONT: Happy numbers.
JIMMY WONG: 6,000.
PHIL LAMARR: So you didn't get any.
WIL WHEATON: No points for you this turn.
This game has suddenly taken a sinister twist.
JIMMY WONG: Is there a bathroom nearby?
I need to go.
WIL WHEATON: Three points for blue.
Two points for yellow.
VERONICA BELMONT: Back in the game, bitches.
WIL WHEATON: And three points for green.
VERONICA BELMONT: Eat it.
Veronica Belmont, coming from behind.
JIMMY WONG: What percent of US girls aged six to nine say
they have used lip gloss or lipstick?
Percentage of girls--
VERONICA BELMONT: As a lady, I hope to know this answer.
JIMMY WONG: --ages six to nine.
WIL WHEATON: I have a question.
JIMMY WONG: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: Are these Weasley children?
JIMMY WONG: In which case, there's-- oh, there's only one
girl in the Weasley family.
WIL WHEATON: And now a follow-up question.
What number are you planning to write down?
VERONICA BELMONT: If my answer's not right, those
girls are liars.
I have to say that I don't really enjoy wearing
lip gloss that much.
It looks good, and it feels nice when
your lips are chapped.
But it does get very sticky.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
Let's find out.
79%.
Really?
JIMMY WONG: I don't know.
WIL WHEATON: 30%.
What did I write?
70%, 80%.
JIMMY WONG: No.
How about this?
If I do win, I'll just take the purple path and see if I
can beat you guys on that, too.
WIL WHEATON: I don't want your pity handicap.
Don't you pity handicap me.
VERONICA BELMONT: Wow.
WIL WHEATON: [BLEEP]
it.
I'm betting on pink.

VERONICA BELMONT: The only thing I ever stole was a Bonne
Bell, like a lip smacker lip gloss from CVS.
And I was approximately that age.
PHIL LAMARR: The thing that puzzles me most about what
Veronica just said is not that she had lip gloss at such a
young age, but that she was stealing it.
Has anyone checked into her past?
VERONICA BELMONT: But I was so plagued by the guilt that I
never even considered taking anything ever again.
WIL WHEATON: You don't learn well from experience.
PHIL LAMARR: Why didn't I just do my strategy and bet what
he's betting?
WIL WHEATON: I don't know.
Come on.
79.
PHIL LAMARR: Because I think he's wrong.
WIL WHEATON: Is it 79?
Please say it's 79.
JIMMY WONG: It's 55.
VERONICA BELMONT: OK.
So I at least got one point.
WIL WHEATON: It's not 79?
I
JIMMY WONG: Youth market experts say that this is part
of a trend called KGOY--

VERONICA BELMONT: That's not the word I thought you were
going to say.

WIL WHEATON: All right.
So that's going to be three points for green.
Three points for green and one point for blue.
But most importantly, zero points for pink.
So we're still playing.
Jimmy has wavered from his always bet on pink strategy.
And I don't think it's a coincidence that his entire
game has really fallen apart.
JIMMY WONG: My ego is definitely catching up to me.
VERONICA BELMONT: [MOCK WHINING]
JIMMY WONG: [MOCK WHINING]
VERONICA BELMONT (MOCK WHINING) Nobody likes me,
because I'm winning.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
PHIL LAMARR: Oh.
Oh, my.
Oh, that's so--
JIMMY WONG: What is the question?
PHIL LAMARR: In inches, how tall is the
world's tallest dog?
JIMMY WONG: Dogs.
PHIL LAMARR: The world's tallest dog.
VERONICA BELMONT: Still beating Wil.
WIL WHEATON: Big deal.
Everyone's beating Wil.
Remember at the beginning of the show, when I said, you
never want to lose the joy of playing the game
in pursuit of victory?
Boy, am I glad I've embraced that philosophy.
VERONICA BELMONT: Clifford.
How big is Clifford?
WIL WHEATON: He's big.
It's just they never actually measure him.
PHIL LAMARR: Although that artist is so crappy.
WIL WHEATON: I mean his size changes.
Sometimes he's as tall as a house.
PHIL LAMARR: Sometimes he looks in through the second
floor window.
And sometimes, oh no, he can fit in the pool.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
And then sometimes he's as big as a tree.
Clifford and Kirstie Alley, very similar.
The world's tallest dog probably goes on a lot of
roller coasters, because he's famous.
And you have to be 48 inches to ride the roller coaster.
So the answer is 48.
OK.
Here we go.
46 inches, 48 inches.
JIMMY WONG: Oh, my.
WIL WHEATON: 69 inches, 45 inches.
PHIL LAMARR: Whoa.
JIMMY WONG: Wowsers, Bowser.
VERONICA BELMONT: What did you write on your card?
JIMMY WONG: Woof woof.
WIL WHEATON: Woof woof.
JIMMY WONG: It's a dubstep dog.
[MAKING SOUNDS]
WIL WHEATON: OK.
The world's tallest dog.
PHIL LAMARR: We're talking about the world's tallest dog.
VERONICA BELMONT: We're getting close to the
end, so I got to--
WIL WHEATON: Really?
I
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, goddammit.
WIL WHEATON: Because 48 is only four feet.
JIMMY WONG: Actually, I still have to bet on pink.
You know, I made the point of saying that.
WIL WHEATON: On a scale of one to the Weasleys,
how certain are you?
VERONICA BELMONT: I'm going to punch you in the face.
That's how the game's going to end, just like
sucker punch you.

JIMMY WONG: I don't believe I can win this--
WIL WHEATON: If you're right--
JIMMY WONG: --unless it's 46.
WIL WHEATON: --you win.
JIMMY WONG: What?
Unacceptable.
PHIL LAMARR: The answer is 42.25.
VERONICA BELMONT: 42!
JIMMY WONG: You get the only point.
VERONICA BELMONT: I get the only point.
JIMMY WONG: The game continues.
PHIL LAMARR: Titan, a four-year-old Great Dane, has
appeared on The Today Show and The Tonight Show.
JIMMY WONG: I felt like I've seen bigger dogs.
WIL WHEATON: I'm just questioning the math of that.
Are those in standard inches or like
miniature television inches?
PHIL LAMARR: It's in Jay Leno inches.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, right.
PHIL LAMARR: Yeah, you know, it's the world's tallest dog.
WIL WHEATON: We actually call those "chinches."
JIMMY WONG: Oh, my.
VERONICA BELMONT: All right.
WIL WHEATON: So that puts you also-- so now basically,
everyone except me can win.
JIMMY WONG: Wil's just such a jolly guy.
It's great to see him try.
[LAUGHS]
PHIL LAMARR: You know what?
If you look in your rear view mirror,
you're going to swerve.
I don't have time to look behind me.
I'll feel sorry for Wil after I beat him.
VERONICA BELMONT: On average, how many pounds of bamboo does
a giant panda eat in a day?
JIMMY WONG: I'm Asian.
I should know this.
But I don't.
I actually really like bamboo.
I eat at a ramen place a lot, and you can get bamboo as like
a side dish.
And so I'd say I eat maybe at most a pound a week, if I go
to this place a lot.
That's actually a lot of bamboo.
WIL WHEATON: Wow, was there a panda at the table?
JIMMY WONG: I don't see one.
PHIL LAMARR: He left quickly.
It's called a Panda Express!
WIL WHEATON: Express!
[RIMSHOT]
JIMMY WONG: I could be crying or laughing out here.
It's one or the other.
PHIL LAMARR: Well, it was painful enough.
VERONICA BELMONT: How many pounds is a pizza?
PHIL LAMARR: How many pounds is a pizza?
VERONICA BELMONT: I was trying to figure out how much bamboo
I eat in any given day.
And I tried to convert it into pizza units.
PHIL LAMARR: I am so confident, I don't even want
you to turn them over.

WIL WHEATON: All right.
I said 60 pounds.
Pink said 25 pounds, nom nom.
Blue says 25 pounds.
Green says 40 pounds.
Damn!
PHIL LAMARR: Ooh, ah, ooh.
JIMMY WONG: Ooh, hmm.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
PHIL LAMARR: Ah.
Obviously, none of us know what we're talking about.
WIL WHEATON: Yup.
PHIL LAMARR: So it's going to come down to the betting.
VERONICA BELMONT: Because if I win, I win every--
all the wins.
JIMMY WONG: If I win, I win too.
All the noms.
VERONICA BELMONT: All the noms will be yours.
Oh, right.
I have the answer.
PHIL LAMARR: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

VERONICA BELMONT: Please let it be my number.
JIMMY WONG: I'd say put it on the one--
WIL WHEATON: I know what I'm talking about.
JIMMY WONG: --because regardless of what happens
here, if we win, we win.
You know?
PHIL LAMARR: I don't mind tying.
WIL WHEATON: Do you have your speech written?
JIMMY WONG: It's in my pocket.
VERONICA BELMONT: Hey, hey, hey.
This isn't over yet.
WIL WHEATON: It's over for me.
I checked out of this game a long time ago.
PHIL LAMARR: Around about Panda Express?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: All right.
Well.
I didn't win.
The answer is 84 pounds.
JIMMY WONG: 84 pounds?
VERONICA BELMONT: 84 pounds of bamboo a day.
JIMMY WONG: What a fat panda.
VERONICA BELMONT: Fatass.
WIL WHEATON: But I get one point for having 60.
JIMMY WONG: What the heck is that thing doing all day?
WIL WHEATON: Oh, look at that.
PHIL LAMARR: Do you know how much bamboo you have to eat to
get 80 pounds?
It's hollow!
VERONICA BELMONT: And we wonder why there's so much
deforestation.
It's been the [BLEEP]
pandas this whole time.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
So how many Oreo cookies come in a
standard 18 ounce package?
JIMMY WONG: Crap, Let me think.
PHIL LAMARR: I am not a big Oreo cookie fan.
WIL WHEATON: I actively hate things that are sweet.
All right.
Here we go.
Is that 81?
JIMMY WONG: No, that's-- excuse me--
WIL WHEATON: I know it's not 81.
18.
JIMMY WONG: --the circle on the bottom is bigger.
WIL WHEATON: 36, 60.
VERONICA BELMONT: Are you like shopping at Costco?
WIL WHEATON: Wow, that's a lot.
24, sad face.
Why so sad?
VERONICA BELMONT: Because I just don't think it's right.
Internet is yelling at us now.
WIL WHEATON: I got this.
I think I know.
I have a good reason for what--
I'm not just flailing around.
I mean I'm flailing around.
But I have a logic to my flailing.
VERONICA BELMONT: Are Newman-O's the same as Oreos?
WIL WHEATON: I've never even heard of a Newman-O.
PHIL LAMARR: "Numinos?"
VERONICA BELMONT: Newman-O's
PHIL LAMARR: Wait.
What did she just say?
A "numino?"
N-U-M-I-N-O?
Is that like a neutrino?
Is she doing physics on us?
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, crap.
All right.
Whatever.
WIL WHEATON: So wait.
So it's 36 and up.
VERONICA BELMONT: You know, Paul Newman's company.
PHIL LAMARR: Oh, Newman-O's.
WIL WHEATON: Newman-O's.
JIMMY WONG: Oh, I thought you said like numerals.
WIL WHEATON: You said "numinos."
VERONICA BELMONT: Newman-O's.
JIMMY WONG: "Numinos."
VERONICA BELMONT: Well, that's how you--
PHIL LAMARR: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. "Numinos."
JIMMY WONG: "Numinos," yeah, with a little i in it.
VERONICA BELMONT: I don't eat Oreo cookies.
I eat Newman-O's.
They are far superior, and they also give all the money
to charity.

What?
WIL WHEATON: Number of Oreos in an 18 ounce package, 45.
JIMMY WONG: What kind of crap number is that?
WIL WHEATON: Double Stuf Oreos, on the other hand, come
36 to the pack.
I got four points!
JIMMY WONG: So you were right.
PHIL LAMARR: And I only got one.
WIL WHEATON: All right So then green gets one.
Blue gets one.
And pink gets one.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh my gosh.
JIMMY WONG: I'm literally crawling towards the finish
line right now.
VERONICA BELMONT: Well the game started off with Jimmy
coming out of the gate very strong.
But I came back from behind.
JIMMY WONG: If I'm the hare, Veronica's definitely the
tortoise, because she slowly but surely got her way to the
victory lap.
And I jumped out ahead and slowed down a ton.
PHIL LAMARR: All right.
Come on.
Bring it home.
VERONICA BELMONT: This could be it.
PHIL LAMARR: Give me what I need.
JIMMY WONG: On average, how many minutes a day does a
teenager watch the TV?
VERONICA BELMONT: That's bullshit if it's on average.
That's not a real number.
JIMMY WONG: Nielsen, US study.
June, 2009.
WIL WHEATON: Would you say that it's harder to know the
answer to that than it is to know like the total number of
Weasley children?
VERONICA BELMONT: I'll shove these down your throat.

PHIL LAMARR: Does an iPhone count?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, because so many kids watch
television on YouTube.
[CHEESY SOUND EFFECT]
VERONICA BELMONT: A day.
I thought you said a week the first time.
A day?
JIMMY WONG: If you're thinking a week, just divide that by
seven, because that's how averages work.
WIL WHEATON: I'm Jimmy Wong, your guide to the world of
math facts.
JIMMY WONG: Math facts.
VERONICA BELMONT: Shouldn't they be doing their homework?
JIMMY WONG: Well, teenagers.
So, you know--
WIL WHEATON: They should do a lot more of turning down the
radio and pulling up their pants, and take that sticker
off your hat.
You look stupid.
JIMMY WONG: Wait.
Did the teenagers in your head still listen to the radio?

VERONICA BELMONT: That's so cute.
PHIL LAMARR: That's how old the man in his head is.
Get off my lawn!
WIL WHEATON: I'm having a really hard time.
I have such paralysis now.
Like, I think--
PHIL LAMARR: Dude, you're catching up.
WIL WHEATON: That's why I have paralysis.
PHIL LAMARR: Oh, self-sabotage.
JIMMY WONG: Sabotage.
WIL WHEATON: I think I'm wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.
Pink says, two minutes.
JIMMY WONG: Just going for the low ball.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, minutes?
PHIL LAMARR: Minutes.
WIL WHEATON: Go ahead.
You can change it to minutes.
JIMMY WONG: Multiply by 60.
Math facts, number two.
I was going to say 150.
VERONICA BELMONT: Also, I like how I asked you the question
like five times.
WIL WHEATON: 70 minutes.
JIMMY WONG: I totally said minutes.
WIL WHEATON: 4 times 60, which is 240 minutes.
JIMMY WONG: 240.
PHIL LAMARR: So she's on the high.
WIL WHEATON: So 240 minutes is here.
Two minutes is there.
70 is there.
And 150 is there.
JIMMY WONG: I'm one point away from winning.
So I know don't have to bet on my own number.
But there's also the internet.
It exists in 2009.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
That's why I sort of tried to pull the number down.
My kids don't even watch television programs on
television.
They don't even have television.
They just watch stuff on their computers.
And if I put it here and I'm right, I'm even--
I'm wrong anyway.
I'm going to lose anyway.
But if it's more than four hours, and I go here, then I
at least give myself some sort of a fighting chance.
So I have to tactically bet here and hope that--
JIMMY WONG: Actually, you know what?
It's definitely not between 70 and 150.
VERONICA BELMONT: What's happening?
What is happening?
WIL WHEATON: That's what I have to do.
I have to go there.
So just in case it's more than four hours.
And if it's more than four hours, then you still win.
You son of a bitch.
All right.
OK.
PHIL LAMARR: Wait, wait, wait.
JIMMY WONG: There really just is not that much quality
programming on TV these days.
WIL WHEATON: Certainly not as much quality programming as
there is on YouTube.
[DING]
JIMMY WONG: That was just so funny.
We're all just like looking at a camera like, yes.
PHIL LAMARR: Yeah, yeah.
I love performing and all.
But I want to win.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
Go ahead and reveal the answer.
What is correct?
JIMMY WONG: 200 minutes.
WIL WHEATON: Damn my eyes!
VERONICA BELMONT: Did I win?
WIL WHEATON: Veronica gets one, two, three.
That takes you up to 16.
And Phil gets two, which takes you 15.
I get one.
And Jimmy gets two and goes right past the end, which
takes you also up to 16.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, snap.
WIL WHEATON: Which means that you two get to go to the
victory wall.
JIMMY WONG: Yes!
VERONICA BELMONT: Ah, Victory Wall.
WIL WHEATON: Phil and I get to go to the Land of Losers.
And I have to say that when we go to the Land of Losers, you
get to choose where to go because you're a much better
loser than I am.
I even lose and losing.
PHIL LAMARR: Yeah, yeah.
It's all just--
JIMMY WONG: Are there any provinces
in the land of losers?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, they're all named after me.
Listen, I think that you guys should share a victory high
five over my face of defeat.
JIMMY WONG: Oh wait.
Right here, right here.
[VICTORIOUS MUSIC]

WIL WHEATON: Listen.
Of the two of us, I'm the one who really earned being here
on the Losers' Couch.
PHIL LAMARR: Yeah.
See, that's the funny thing about it.
Loserdom doesn't make distinctions.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
PHIL LAMARR: I didn't win.
I'm a loser.
And then really, really, I just didn't want to lose to
Veronica, because she beat me in the practice game.
WIL WHEATON: Wow.
You're oh and two to Belmont.
PHIL LAMARR: Yeah.
I don't like to lose.
I mean I know it's just, oh it's cameras.
It's just a game.
I don't like to lose.

WIL WHEATON: Is there anything I can say to
make you feel better?
Do you want to rock, paper, scissors?
Maybe you can beat me at that.
OK, ready?
Oh.

I think I'm going to go downstairs to
the Winner's Wall.

Look, I'm trying to stay mad.
But I'm just not.
I'm really happy for you guys.
Congratulations.
You're champions.
Jimmy and Veronica, you have the greatest wits and wagers.
And apparently family.
And I guess I should say edition just
to get all the names.
VERONICA BELMONT: We're all family now.
WIL WHEATON: Congratulations.
You guys win the TableTop Trophy of Awesome.
So I'm going to write Jimmy and Veronica.
VERONICA BELMONT: It's the proudest moment of my life.
JIMMY WONG: This is nice.
My parents would be proud.
WIL WHEATON: Right on the trophy.
There you go.
Congratulations.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yay.
WIL WHEATON: Would you like to make a speech or perhaps share
a math fact with the audience?
VERONICA BELMONT: Math fact!
JIMMY WONG: Math fact.
Two is better than one.
WIL WHEATON: That's a fact.
JIMMY WONG: Yup.
WIL WHEATON: I have to take the trophy back now, actually,
because we only have one.
We can't afford one.
But I am going to give you this piece of tape with your
name on it--
VERONICA BELMONT: But we have to share.
WIL WHEATON: --that you guys can share.
So maybe if you attach it to your shoulders or something--
VERONICA BELMONT: Can I have Jimmy?
WIL WHEATON: --and stand next to each other all day long.
JIMMY WONG: I'll take Veronica, yeah.
WIL WHEATON: Look, everybody wins!
VERONICA BELMONT: There you go.
JIMMY WONG: Yay!
VERONICA BELMONT: Math facts.
WIL WHEATON: Well, congratulations, you guys.
And we will see you next time on TableTop.
JIMMY WONG: Bye.
See you guys later.
VERONICA BELMONT: I can't believe we
didn't get the trophy.