Wainy Days #9 'Dorvid Days' (Jonah Hill & Thomas Lennon)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on Sep 23, 2007

Transcript:

[MUSIC PLAYING]
DAVID: OK, let's see if my most recent love interest,
Nora, replied to that sexy poem I emailed her.
NORA (VOICEOVER): Hey David, thanks for the sexy poem.
And the answer to your question is, yes, I do love
Craig Ferguson.
You should come to Los Angeles and visit me sometime.
Write back soon.
DAVID: Well, that settles it.
I have to get to Los Angeles.
All I need now is to find me some dough.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREAKING DISH]
DAVID: No money.
FEMALE SPEAKER: Why don't you just hitchhike?

[MUSIC PLAYING]
[TRAFFIC NOISE]
[GRUNTS]
DAVID: Thank you, so much, for the ride.
And don't worry, Esmerelda will come back to you.
You've just got to pay attention to her
a little bit, OK?
Maybe cleanup after yourself once in while and make her
some dinner.
Put on a shirt more often.
MALE SPEAKER: Bye, Davy.
Bye, Davy.
DAVID: Nora.
Nora.
NORA: David?
Oh, my God.
Hey, what are doing in L.A.?
L.A.?
DAVID: Well, you said I should come, and so I came.
And then I got a
ride to L.A. [LAUGHTER]
NORA: Wow.
Wow.
You know I didn't mean, today.
But OK.
DAVID: Well, the point is I'm just glad that
we're finally together.
And soon we're going to be dry humping.
NORA: Oh, hey, David.
There's someone I want you to meet.
David, this is my brother, Neil.
DAVID: Neil, well, aren't you the little
computer whiz, Neil.
NORA: Hey, that's not a toy, OK?
That's what Neil uses to communicate.
He has Stephen Hawking's disease.
DAVID: Oh, the wheelchair guy.
NEIL'S COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Hello, Dorvid.
DAVID: Did he just call me Dorvid?
NEIL'S COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Sorry typo.
[LAUGHTER]
NEIL'S COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Ha ha, ha, ha, ha.
[LAUGHTER]
DAVID: I got you this.
NORA: Oh, my God.
David.
That is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.
When did you make this?
DAVID: Now.
NORA: Wow.
God, we have so much in common.
DAVID: I know.
On three, let's say the name of our favorite movie star.
NORA: OK.
One, two, three.
Gary Sinise.
Oh, my God.
I loved him in Ransom.
DAVID: I know more like handsome, huh?
NORA: Oh, my God, he's gorgeous.
I want [INAUDIBLE]
DAVID: No you don't, just marry me.
NORA: Really?
Wait a minute.
Where's Neil?
DAVID: Nei?
Neil?
MALE SPEAKER: Fudgesicles, ice creams, right here.
Ice cold ice cream.
DAVID: Hey, what's the big deal, dude?
MALE SPEAKER: What is your idea, dude?
I'm trying to sell some ice cream, here, man.
DAVID: That's not an ice cream truck filled with treats.
That's my future brother-in-law, Neil.
NEIL'S COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Thank you, for finding me,
David, exclamation point.

MALE SPEAKER: Oh, my God.
This is so awkward.
I'm so sorry.
NORA: Oh, my God.
Neil, are you OK?
NEIL'S COMPUTERIZED VOICE: I thought I had been abducted.
NORA: This is all your fault.
DAVID: My fault?
NORA: Yes, it was your idea to come here.
DAVID: But Jenn
NORA: Don't play games with me, Dorvid.
Nobody comes between me and my brother.
I love him.
I love him.
Which is a lot more than I can say about you.
It's over.
MALE SPEAKER: You heard the lady, man.
Take it somewhere else, Dorvid.
DAVID: Could I just--
MALE SPEAKER: You heard the lady.

DAVID: Just one--
MALE SPEAKER: Walk away.

NORA: Thank you, so much.

NEIL'S COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Thank you, David.
I will never forget you and your face.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DAVID: The future is coming pretty damn fast.
I mean, in four years I'm going to be 41 years old.
And the year is going to be 2011.
I mean, what's life going to be like when I'm 41 years old?
[MUSIC PLAYING]