One afternoon, I just went and sat on a small hill
which was in a town where I grew up.
Until that moment I always thought this was me
and that's somebody else.
I had no issue with that somebody else but that is somebody, this is me.
For the first time I did not know which is me and which is not me.
What was me was just spread all over the place.
I thought this madness lasted for five or ten minutes
but when i came back to my normal ways of being
four-and-a-half hours had passed. I'm sitting right there, fully conscious, eyes open
I sat there around three o'clock in the afternoon, it's seven thirty in the evening, sun has set
and I thought it's only ten minutes but four and a half hours had passed.
For the first time in my adult life
tears are flowing to a point where my shirt is completely wet.
Me and tears were impossible, I am like this.
I've always been happy, that's never been an issue for me. I was successful with what I was doing.
I was young and no problems...I was fine.
But I'm bursting with another kind of ecstasy which is indescribable, every cell
in my body is just bursting with ecstasy.
I had no words, when I shook my head and tried to ask my skeptical mind
okay what's happening to me. The only thing that my mind could tell me was maybe you are going
off your rocker. (audience laughter)
I didn't care what it was
but I didn't want to lose it
because this is the most beautiful thing that I had ever touched
and I had never imagined that a human being could ever feel like this within himself.
So when I went to my closest friends and said see something is happening to me like this
as I'm talking tears would flow
and...
people would say, "Did you drink something?
Did you pop something?
What did you do?"
I knew there was no point in talking to anybody
because if I just look at the sky, tears will come, if I look at a tree, tears will come
if I close my eyes, tears will come.
I'm just bursting. In six weeks time
everything about me changed so dramatically
and I just lost the sense of time. The next time this happened was very significant because
there were people around me,
I went and sat with my family at the dinner table
I actually thought it's two minutes, but seven hours had gone by, I'm sitting right there fully
alert
but I have no sense of time.
This happened many times, one day I'm just sitting
in my farm
and I thought I sat there for about twenty five, thirty minutes,
but I have sat there for thirteen days.
By then a crowd has gathered,
India being what it is,
there are huge garlands all around me and somebody's asking how to run his business, somebody wants
to know when his daughters will get married.
All then nonsense I hated
just happening around me
and... I actually thought it's only twenty five, thirty minutes but these people saying
thirteen days, he's sitting, he's in samhadi he's this, that. I had not even heard these words.
I grew up on...you know
European philosophy, Camus, Kafka, Dostoyevsky, you read that stuff? ...in America? ...huh?
and being sixties you know..
Beatles and this and that, I grew up like that. Me and spirituality are another world,
there's no chance of me going there.
So I had none of these vocabularies, samadhi this, that stuff in me..
People are saying oh he's in this kind of samadhi, he's in that kind of samadhi, you touch him and
this will happen and people are trying to grab me.
So the only thing that I could do is leave that place and travel out
just to escape this
because i couldn't figure what's happening around me.
Why I'm telling you this story is,
this is possible for every human being,
it's my wish and my blessing.
This must happen to you.
Whether you climb Mount Everest or not,
whether you become the richest man on this planet or not,
your experience of life on this planet should be pleasant.
You must live blissfully and go, that must happen to every human being, every body deserves it
and everybody's capable of it.